Vamped: A Novel

Rating:
Summary: Blood and satire
Review: David Sosnowski's VAMPED takes a twisted view of the vampire novel. What if humanity were an endangered species on a world where everyone has been turned into vampires? What sort of world would the vampires make? Ironically enough, it's not all that different from ours. Marty one of the vampires that "flipped" the world by systematically recruiting more and more mortals into the world of the undead lives in a world where everyone works the graveyard shift. Strip clubs are still popular and the most popular drink is, well, blood on tap.

One night a little mortal girl named Isuzu escapes from a farm where they breed humans illegally for the black market. She and her mother have been hiding out in the woods. Marty discovers Isuzu alone and scared. His world has turned into one of sweet ennui. He decides what he's really missing is the thrill of the hunt of the kill. But something changes his mind and instead of killing the little girl, he adopts her. Not an easy thing to do when your neighbors would want to rip out her little throat if they discovered her. Suddenly, Marty gets thrust into the world of parenthood and must deal with all the issues of a father...that and being undead.

Well written with wit and more than a touch of satire and darkness, Sosnowski's novel takes the premise of Richard Matheson's THE LAST MAN ON EARTH, twists it and turns it inside out combining it with a touch of Anne Rice and Stoker to create a well thought out comic look at our world as seen through the eyes of the undead. Sosnowski deals with a number of uncomfortable themes in the book once removed because it isn't our world at all but a parallel Earth where vampires rule the world and even have their own vamped pets.

This novel isn't for everyone. Someone expecting INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE or DRACULA will be disappointed. If you're adventureous enough to try something new with a touch of dark comic wit, VAMPED may be for you. I wasn't all that pleased with the conclusion but it was the only logical way for the story to go. Still, I had hoped that Sosnowski might be able to pull off something a bit more radical at the conclusion. That small flaw aside, VAMPED entertains, provides a bit of thoughtful discussion and enough one liners to keep you chuckling. Overall, a very successful novel and quite fun to read as well. Now let's hope they don't turn this into a movie and screw it up for everyone or, if they do, that they get witty writer (Buck Henry or someone like him) and director (Guillermo Del Toro would do a fine job).

Rating:
Summary: Loved this book!!!!
Review: First of all, this is not a Anne Rice type book. It is more in the vein (no pun intended!) of Laurel K. Hamilton; but sillier. It has been a long time since a book came along that made me laugh out loud through most of it. This is one of those books that makes you think, almost wistfully, about things in your own life, while wondering what life would be like without them. It made me appreciate everything I have, have done, and am able to do and usually take for granted in my own life. I fell in love with every single one of the main characters even with all their crazy quirks. The twists and turns in this book are just too funny. I suggest you go out and buy this one immediately. You will not be disappointed. "Rapture", another book by this author, is also very good, although in a bit more serious way. I am going to read this author again and again.

Rating:
Summary: Dracula as Dad
Review: I am not a connisseur of "vampire fiction" so I can only respond to this book as clever fiction. Yes, it helps to know vampire lore but it's not necessary. Stripping away the fangs, we're left with a tender father/daughter story, wrapped in modern day values. As most adults discover, children fill your life in unexpected, amazing and meaningful ways. In Vamped, this experience is large enough to fill an eternity.

Vamped is, indeed, a heartwarming story. Even as a veteran vampire, Martin Kowalski is not immune to the charms of mortals. Isuzu Trooper, the young girl he adopts, is irresistibly cute and quirky. The idea that Marty might harm Isuzu quickly dissipates; his desire to pierce her jugular is replaced with an overwhelming need to protect her. Martin's strategy to let his daughter win at Slapjack is endearing, and as they bond over cards we can appreciate the gravitas of her giggles. In a unique and joyful ice-skating escapade, father and daughter both land on their butts. In fact, their growing affection for each other seems to echo Marty's own loving relationship with his parents; even as he infuses magic into the infamous Pit Story, Marty creates a bedtime tale for Isuzu that resonates with the tremendous love he has for his own, deceased, father.

As a loving and tolerant dad himself, Martin Kowalski is so tremendously corny that some of the puns may indeed make you groan, and occasionally it seems the story is a means to a punchline. Even with his lover, Rose, Marty is is quite the card but you can't help smiling at his constant stream of ironic commentary -- one good example is Marty's riff on vampire couples using Microsoft's WinKid to create low-maintenance offspring. Marty's postprandial buddy, Father Jack, also has a wicked sense of humor. Introducing Marty to his dog Judas, Father Jack explains, "What else would you name a son of a [...]?" Bobby and Twit, Vamped's other minor characters, don't offer much in the way of humor, though they do offer a glimpse into the darker tastes of vampires. The tone of the story changes when Bobby and Twit interact with Isuzu; ambiguity blossoms fully in the conclusion. After all, what does "happily ever after" mean for vampires?!




Rating:
Summary: Fun, frothy and utterly forgettable
Review: I liked this book a lot, and I'm a fan of a wide range of vampire fiction, from the silly to the serious. That said, this is probably one you could wait for the paperback for.

Vamped tells the story of disillusioned and bored vampire Marty, who's decided it's time to join the really, really dead. On his way to death a la reckless driving, he comes across the improbably named 6-yr. old Isuzu Trooper, who's just witnessed Mom getting turned into Vamp Snacks.

So in a world where the vampires outnumber the humans badly enough that Spaghetti-O's are repacked as lemur food and human children are an expensive delicacy, of course Marty is going to take little Isuzu under his batwing and plump her up. And of course little Isuzu is precocious, intelligent and tasty-looking, setting up a whole book's worth of Marty's internal give and take about what constitutes family vs. what dinner is.

The ensuing hijinks (skating in Alaska where even the dead make puffy breaths in the cold) are funny and sweet and Marty is mostly cute as he comes to have fatherly feelings for Isuzu. The real fun in this book is in the daily details (like why vamps have pets, eBay business in Count Chocula is booming and the workings of the BBQ).

The drawbacks of this book are that we don't really get to know Isuzu much, since the book is told from the rather scattered and careless perspective of Marty. This is chick lit without the chick. Huge, huge passages of time are skipped, with Isuzu suddenly aging quite rapidly here and there. The totally sexless Marty suddenly finds vamp love near a convenient point towards the end and I'm not sure how much logic I can suspend to really let slide the fact that a child can be cooped up for nearly 12 years straight with only limited freaky television and a couple hours with her guardian for company and not end up utterly insane.

The near-ending of the book is inexplicably darker and more sinister than the entire rest of the story and it sort of jars the reader into expecting the end to have more punch than it does. I probably was expecting too much of the author, but the ending was just not as powerful or as memorable as it could have been and it made the overall experience of the book disappointing for me.

This is a fun book, sort of flaky and goofy and not bad if you're looking for something to read on a boring afternoon. In my opinion, it's really not something you read more than once and it's not something you'll think much about when you close the last page. Like Chinese food, when you're finished, you'll know you had something but not really care much what it was or if you'll order it again. I wish this would have come out in paperback first so I could justify spending the money on something that really didn't leave much impression one way or another.

Rating:
Summary: Wow, this book sucked (heh).
Review: If the Lifetime channel went out one night, and you were in desperate need for a heartwarming father daugher tale, here is where you would look. If you were looking for a dark, wry look at a world of modern vampires, please keep on walking. This is book has the fuzzy light on it the whole way through, and there are so many intelligent questions that go unanswered- for example: A mortal child, alone in a world of only vampires, and no one is even going to try forcibly abduct her? Puh-leeze.
It's a sweet book if you're a goth father with a daughter, maybe.


Rating:
Summary: Hilarious and strange
Review: Just like he did in "Rapture", David Sosnowski shows that he has an eye for the hilarious details that make absurd situations seem mundane. This novel actually bears a lot in common with "Rapture": The protagonist is an alienated citizen living in a world he helped create, who rediscovers his humanity by connecting with someone equally isolated. But this time, it's vampires, and they've taken over the planet.

So, yeah, "Vamped" made me laugh a lot. And there were sections that were genuinely moving. But still, it could have been a little better. Things go a little too easy for Martin and Isuzu (the main characters) at very convenient times. And, frankly, I wonder if Martin has really learned what he's supposed to by the end.

Still, the book is HIGHLY original and extremely funny. I waited years for David Sosnowski to finally get to follow up "Rapture", and I wasn't disappointed.

Rating:
Summary: Sweet story...
Review: One of the better vampire novels I have read lately. Usually when I choose to read a vampire novel it is one that borders on horror, such as Anne Rice or the absolutely divine Anita Blake series by Laurell K Hamilton. I read about this one in Time Out New York magazine, gave it a spin and was very glad that I did. This novel is so sweet in places it will hurt your teeth, and so touching in others that it will tug your heart strings. Definately a good 'weekend read'.

Rating:
Summary: I was shocked
Review: The book drips (no pun intended) with anti-Christianity, and anti-Catholicism in particular. Really, I find it amazing that people put up, or enjoy this kind of trash from Mr. David Sosnowsky. It's offensive, to the point of being unkind.

Rating:
Summary: Great Vampy Fun
Review: This is a really wonderful vampire story where the roles are reversed, the world is full of vampires who drink blood from juiceboxes and vacation in wintery alaska, where the night lasts forever. If you like traditional vampire stories and are ready for a humorous change, then i think you'll like this book. It is a well developed novel with interesting characters and situations. It was an easy read, but a very worthwhile one.

Rating:
Summary: Unusual meditation on parenthood
Review: Vampires roam the world in an awful lot of novels, those from the gothic meta-porn of Anne Rice to the humor of Christopher Moore's Practical Demonkeepting.

Vamped has taken this a step further, until vampires run the world. The non-un-dead (double negative?) are left to hide and be farmed for those vampire epicures who prefer the real thing over a cloned substitute. The hero of this book is somewhat to blame for this change of events. His guilt leads him to take responsibility for an orphaned human child.

There are bits of 28-days like "run from the bad monsters", humor in the Christopher Moore vein, and interesting speculations on what would happen in a world rules by the undead, but instead, overall the book works as a meditation on what it means to be a parent in an age of terrorism.

Oddly affecting and very successful on all levels.