Scream Queen

Rating:
Summary: Scary... Scarier...scarier...nothing!
Review: Amazon lists this book as having 352 pages. All copies I have seen end at 300 and it really feels like there is something missing.

Brothers who have made a name for themselves making cheap, grade-B horror films have a new project: a reality-show where contestants have to spend the night in a haunted house.

Being a horror novel, the house is, of course, haunted by some real nasties. Jody, a farm girl looking to improve her luck, is the contestant we are rooting for.

Unfortunately, after a slow beginning (setting the stage), and a little foreshadowing, the plot and body count speed up and then the book just stops. End. Finis. Nothing more. Even if there is a publication mistake and there are fifty missing pages, it is hard to see how this one would be saved.

There are some interesting scenes and the manifestation has an interesting twist, but it just isn't really worth the time.

Rating:
Summary: The new "genre fiction"
Review: Edo van Belkom, Scream Queen (Pinnacle, 2003)

Ah, a return to the glory days of eighties horror. Back then, there were your great writers, there were your A-list writers (who were good, but rarely approached greatness, and never with any regularity), and then, as A Christmas Story wryly tells us, there were "the nameless rabble of victims," those all-but-anonymous genre writers whose work is now lost to the wind. (That the same can be said of many of the greats in no way makes the two in any way similar.) For every John Holt, Edward Levy, or Michael Paine writing in the eighties, you had ten Ken Eulos, Saul Wernicks, and William Hills.

These days, the ratio seems to have been turned on its head. You can find great horror writers under every rock. Poppy Z. Brite, Caitlin R. Kiernan, Charlee Jacob, Carlton Mellick III, and their ilk have raised the bar for literary horror far past any place I could have hoped it would go when I first discovered that avatar of literate horror, Clive Barker. Nowadays, you have to search pretty far for the genre writer, the guy whose books are going to sell a few hundred thousand copies and then fade into obscurity.

Scream Queen falls solidly into the realm of genre fiction destined for obscurity. But like the best work of Eulo, Wernick, Hill et al., while it sticks around, those few hundred thousand readers who take van Belkom up on his offer to ride through this funhouse are going to have one hell of a trip.

Scream Queen gives us such an obvious premise it's amazing no one's actually pulled it off yet: two brothers who direct low-budget horror films stage a reality TV show, Scream Queen, the winner of which gets the lead part in the brothers' new movie. All the winner has to do is spend the night in a hunted house (rigged with tricks, natch, to scare the contestants), then have the public vote on her as the best of the contestants. Simple, right? (And brilliant. Expect it to happen in real life in the next couple of years. That's a reality series even I would watch.) The only problem is that the haunted house the producers and their team have tricked out really IS a haunted house, and the ghosts therein are not very happy to receive guests.

The action starts early and continues pretty much nonstop (there are some slow points for setup, but the writing is such that even they go by quickly). This is a slim novel, by modern horror standards, three hundred pages even. They fly. The reader is likely to find himself jarred at least once per page by stupid typos (and the obviously far overpaid editor never met a homonym he didn't misuse), but after a while you gloss those over and just get on with it. Nothing here is likely to make you say "boy, that was unexpected!" or think van Belkom has a line on the next great idea to move the whole genre forward.

If this were a movie, it'd be turn-your-brain-off entertainment. As a book, it's fluff, but readable fluff.***

Rating:
Summary: Frightening
Review: I am a fan of thriller and horror novels. This book will have you keeping your light on at night. It is a very good read and if you are into spirits and hauntings, you will definitely enjoy this one!!!

Rating:
Summary: Death To Reality...Finally
Review: I zipped through this book in a day and had a blast. It's not particularly scary, but it moves at a rapid click and kept me wanting to turn the pages. Exactly what I hope for in a thriller. The premise is simple -- reality show contestants spend a night in a haunted house to earn money and a role in a feature film and end up getting more than they bargained for. The characters are entertaining, although not very likable. But the best part was Van Belkom slamming the door shut on the world of reality television. The filmmaking brother team in this book is priceless. They reminded me of an even sleazier version of the producer and director from the brilliant film "The Making Of...And God Spoke." EVB gets in some good laughs, some nice jabs at Hollywood, a few decent scares, and several "wet" scenes. The ending does drop off instantly but it can't be any worse than a manufactured tropical island set during a "Survivor" season finale.

Rating:
Summary: Death To Reality...Finally
Review: Okay, there is no mention of a movie being made from this book, but in my humble opinion - there should be! The book itself reads as though you're watching the story unfold on a movie screen. I enjoyed it. True, it wasn't scary enough to make me lose a night of sleep (hence the 4 star and not 5 star rating - sick, huh? *laugh) but I did have to peek over my shoulder from time to time. *laugh I have to agree with one reader that the story seemed to just - end - but then I think that was the purpose of the ending...to kind of leave the readers hanging. Hanging for what? A sequel? Who knows? All in all, this book is definitely worth getting. A few graphic but not over the top horror scenes and an interesting plot. Like I said, I'd be the first in line if the story were turned into a movie. Speaking of movies, if you liked "House on Haunted Hill", "13 Ghosts", or "Ghost Ship" - grab this book because it's pretty much based on the same theme of greed and such.

Rating:
Summary: Can't Wait To See The Movie...
Review: Okay, there is no mention of a movie being made from this book, but in my humble opinion - there should be! The book itself reads as though you're watching the story unfold on a movie screen. I enjoyed it. True, it wasn't scary enough to make me lose a night of sleep (hence the 4 star and not 5 star rating - sick, huh? *laugh) but I did have to peek over my shoulder from time to time. *laugh I have to agree with one reader that the story seemed to just - end - but then I think that was the purpose of the ending...to kind of leave the readers hanging. Hanging for what? A sequel? Who knows? All in all, this book is definitely worth getting. A few graphic but not over the top horror scenes and an interesting plot. Like I said, I'd be the first in line if the story were turned into a movie. Speaking of movies, if you liked "House on Haunted Hill", "13 Ghosts", or "Ghost Ship" - grab this book because it's pretty much based on the same theme of greed and such.

Rating:
Summary: Do you like scary movies?
Review: Six contestants spend the night in a reputedly haunted house that is rigged with scary effects. Their every move is being recorded to be turned into a t.v. reality series where the viewers get to pick their favorite "scream queen." The only problem is the ghosts, who are hungry for more than a scare.

This bloodfest moves very quickly and will remind horror fans of THE HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL and HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION. Only a few of the characters are fleshed out, but Van Belkom has a flair for description and action sequences. I would recommend this novel to fans of Richard Laymon and Tamara Thorne.

Rating:
Summary: Dull, Predictable, and Nothing Original
Review: Wow! Was this book bad. Not only am I in the film industry, but I'm a huge fan of horror. So I thought this book would be perfect for me. Unfortunately, with little to no character development or atmosphere, this book is dead on arrival. I have to say, Scream Queen is the most predictable horror novel I've ever read. Every single scene I've seen done before. The author also makes quite a few mistakes when describing positions on a film crew. It's no wonder Mr. Van Belkom got his technical information about filmmaking from Ron Oliver -- the director of Prom Night III ! I also found it funny to learn that this author has written books on how to write horror and erotica when this book contains neither! Scream Queen is a total flop and a complete waste of time. Stay away.

Rating:
Summary: Dull, Predictable, and Nothing Original
Review: Wow! Was this book bad. Not only am I in the film industry, but I'm a huge fan of horror. So I thought this book would be perfect for me. Unfortunately, with little to no character development or atmosphere, this book is dead on arrival. I have to say, Scream Queen is the most predictable horror novel I've ever read. Every single scene I've seen done before. The author also makes quite a few mistakes when describing positions on a film crew. It's no wonder Mr. Van Belkom got his technical information about filmmaking from Ron Oliver -- the director of Prom Night III ! I also found it funny to learn that this author has written books on how to write horror and erotica when this book contains neither! Scream Queen is a total flop and a complete waste of time. Stay away.