Bachelor Girl : 100 Years of Breaking the Rules--a Social History of Living Single

Rating:
Summary: bachelor girls?
Review: Before I read this book, I used to think: "when get married, I'll get a better car," or "when I get married, I can start saving for my retirement," or my most repeated, "when I get married, I can buy a house."

Betsy Israel's book says it all on the cover, "100 years of breaking the rules--a social history of living single." This book is a thorough history of single women in the United States during the last century. A hundred years ago, a single woman was not allowed to buy or own a house. If a family of four unmarried girls lost their parents to death, they immediately became orphaned and the family home either went to the nearest male relative or the government. Even if one sister was an adult. However, if there was one single brother - he was automatically granted everything without any responsibility to his sisters.

If a husband decided to leave his wife or if she left him, he was always automatically granted custody of the children. Even if he was a wife-beater, infidel, and/or a child molester. And if he wanted to send the children away to an orphanage or the middle of nowhere - then so be it. And since a woman was not allowed to own property or even rent an apartment and job conditions were similar to slavery; she usually had no choice but to stay married. A hundred years ago, the worst thing that could happen to a woman was if her husband left her before he died. Resorting to abuse and rape by your husband was far better than being left to the wolves on the streets. Not to mention, the mistreatment as a "social outcast," they received if they didn't marry a man at all!

Betsy Israel has an approach that is very readable and not at all male-bashing (she happens to be married). In a few chapters, she even honorably mentions a few males that have furthered the causes for women. If anything, most of the plights that women have been through is because of poor laws that were constructed to restrict them to one way of life. I also love how she portrays the many different single women that have struggled valiantly to bring us to where we are today. She also covers each decade's progress and setbacks all the way up to modern day.

Yes, even 20 years ago, single women had very few choices. And the choices they did have restricted them religiously or legally. This book has changed my "woe is me, I am not yet married" attitude and instead has completely revolutionized my perspective. I now realize that I am blessed to have been born in this era, and that as a single woman, I can live with my boyfriend, buy a house, hold a job, vote and much more. I have started saving for a house, I'm adding to my retirement and my relationship is much more enjoyable than before.

I would recommend this book for all women to read - especially non-married women. After reading this book, you'll most likely feel relieved that you are in fact... a bachelor girl.

Janelle R. B.

Rating:
Summary: bachelor girls?
Review: Before I read this book, I used to think: "when get married, I'll get a better car," or "when I get married, I can start saving for my retirement," or my most repeated, "when I get married, I can buy a house."

Betsy Israel's book says it all on the cover, "100 years of breaking the rules--a social history of living single." This book is a thorough history of single women in the United States during the last century. A hundred years ago, a single woman was not allowed to buy or own a house. If a family of four unmarried girls lost their parents to death, they immediately became orphaned and the family home either went to the nearest male relative or the government. Even if one sister was an adult. However, if there was one single brother - he was automatically granted everything without any responsibility to his sisters.

If a husband decided to leave his wife or if she left him, he was always automatically granted custody of the children. Even if he was a wife-beater, infidel, and/or a child molester. And if he wanted to send the children away to an orphanage or the middle of nowhere - then so be it. And since a woman was not allowed to own property or even rent an apartment and job conditions were similar to slavery; she usually had no choice but to stay married. A hundred years ago, the worst thing that could happen to a woman was if her husband left her before he died. Resorting to abuse and rape by your husband was far better than being left to the wolves on the streets. Not to mention, the mistreatment as a "social outcast," they received if they didn't marry a man at all!

Betsy Israel has an approach that is very readable and not at all male-bashing (she happens to be married). In a few chapters, she even honorably mentions a few males that have furthered the causes for women. If anything, most of the plights that women have been through is because of poor laws that were constructed to restrict them to one way of life. I also love how she portrays the many different single women that have struggled valiantly to bring us to where we are today. She also covers each decade's progress and setbacks all the way up to modern day.

Yes, even 20 years ago, single women had very few choices. And the choices they did have restricted them religiously or legally. This book has changed my "woe is me, I am not yet married" attitude and instead has completely revolutionized my perspective. I now realize that I am blessed to have been born in this era, and that as a single woman, I can live with my boyfriend, buy a house, hold a job, vote and much more. I have started saving for a house, I'm adding to my retirement and my relationship is much more enjoyable than before.

I would recommend this book for all women to read - especially non-married women. After reading this book, you'll most likely feel relieved that you are in fact... a bachelor girl.

Janelle R. B.

Rating:
Summary: bachelor girls?
Review: Betsy Israel has an approach that is very readable and not at all male-bashing (she happens to be married). In a few chapters, she even honorably mentions a few males that have furthered the causes for women. If anything, most of the plights that women have been through is because of poor laws that were constructed to restrict them to one way of life. I also love how she portrays the many different single women that have struggled valiantly to bring us to where we are today. She also covers each decade's progress and setbacks all the way up to modern day.

I would recommend this book for all women to read - especially non-married women. After reading this book, you'll most likely feel relieved that you are in fact... a bachelor girl.

Janelle R. B.

Also recommend books by:
Stephanie Coontz
Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller

Rating:
Summary: bachelor girls?
Review: Betsy Israel has an approach that is very readable and not at all male-bashing (she happens to be married). In a few chapters, she even honorably mentions a few males that have furthered the causes for women. If anything, most of the plights that women have been through is because of poor laws that were constructed to restrict them to one way of life. I also love how she portrays the many different single women that have struggled valiantly to bring us to where we are today. She also covers each decade's progress and setbacks all the way up to modern day.

I would recommend this book for all women to read - especially non-married women. After reading this book, you'll most likely feel relieved that you are in fact... a bachelor girl.

Janelle R. B.

Also recommend books by:
Stephanie Coontz
Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller

Rating:
Summary: This is just the book I wanted!
Review: Betsy Israel has written THE book I've been searching for. As a 38 year old single woman, never married, I wondered who the single women pioneers were. Did they stumble into singlehood like I did or was it a conscious decision? Did they decide like me, that having a disastrous marriage was worse than being on my own?

It was amazing to read about other single women, how they lived, the choices they made, and how the media and society manipulated and disrespected them. Two hundred years ago single women were accused of being witches since no one understood why these women would not want to fulfill their duty to marry and produce children. Why are people so suspicious of single women? Not long ago a coworker asked me if I was a witch. I told him I'm a Baptist. He also asked me if I was a lesbian (another common accusation mentioned in "Bachelor Girl".) I love men; I just haven't found one I can live with. Yet. It was great to read this book and know that other women have experienced the same things I've experienced.

People have assumed I avoided marriage to pursue my career. If it weren't for my career I would have been forced to marry the wrong man in order to survive. I love my career, but I did not give up anything for it. I've also learned to fix things around the home I own, I've bought two cars on my own, I have planned for retirement, all things that many single women avoid doing as Betsy Israel points out in this book. However, I know married women who have done the same things I've done because their loving husbands had skills other than fixing things, negotiating deals or managing money. I also know women in miserable marriages who've had to do the same things because their husbands wouldn't do them.

And when I'm feeling unlucky and unloved, reading about the factory worker girls, or shop girls who walked the fine line between their reality and society's perceptions I realize modern single women have it way easier. When I feel lonely I remember the amazing freedom I have that my single predecessors did not have.

I'm so tired of books for singles that are all about dating, finding a man and getting him down the aisle. "Bachelor Girl" has none of that. I read that other book about the rules and like women in "Bachelor Girl" I laughed so hard I fell out of my chair. This book is about real single women and how they made their own rules and tried to live good lives and have a little fun too.

Currently, the number of people choosing to stay single is rising. The 2000 Census shows that 25% of households are singles living alone. It was 13% in 1960. You'd think the politicians would be worried about the rise of singles rather than rising divorce rate or gay marriage, but I'm just happy to have the heat off me a little bit. But why should any of us take any criticism for our lives? Singles are a huge voting block, the politicians should pay attention to us.

The only place the book seems to fall a little short is in regards to the modern single woman. Betsy Israel covers the massive amount of crap we've all found on the Internet regarding singles and it's great to see this validation in print. But Ms. Israel focuses on Ally McBeal and Bridget Jones as archetypes. But for me the archetypes are Claudia on "Less Than Perfect", Lorelei Gilmore on "Gilmore Girls" and Mary Richards. Ms. Israel also gets a little snarky with her real subjects' attitudes. It seems that many of them are responding to their surroundings rather than feeling proud of their own accomplishments. All but one interviewee refused to use her real name. I hope this book will empower single women to always be proud of their lives, make smart decisions for themselves and not let the media or society define who they are.


Rating:
Summary: Fascinating, but needed a fact-checker
Review: Great book, fascinating stuff, and the author's a terrific writer. But a couple of factual flubs (Florenz Ziegfeld's Florodora Girls? Jean Harlow died from an abortion?) had me wondering how much else I could trust in the book as "history."

Read it for the great excerpts Israel's found, and for her own well-expressed opinions--but be wary of using this as a history text.

Rating:
Summary: Fascinating and enlightening
Review: I picked this up by impulse at the library, not sure if I would find myself reading a feminazi diatribe or a tittering prurient expos?. Thankfully, it was neither.

"Bachelor Girl" is an engrossing examination of unmarried women over the decades -- the society they lived in, the choices they faced, and the lives they lived. My adult daughter is reading it now; I insisted on it, after we watched "Mona Lisa Smiles" together and she found the movie's emphasis on getting married too bizarre and implausible. A few chapters into it, she said, "This is the sort of stuff I wanted to learn in my women's studies courses."

Betsy Israel's writing is engaging and compelling; her approach is sensible and even-handed. If more people would read this, (and as a companion book, "The Way We Never Were") perhaps more energy could be channeled toward defining a healthier future instead of wasted on nostalgic delusions.

Rating:
Summary: Fascinating and enlightening
Review: I picked this up by impulse at the library, not sure if I would find myself reading a feminazi diatribe or a tittering prurient exposé. Thankfully, it was neither.

"Bachelor Girl" is an engrossing examination of unmarried women over the decades -- the society they lived in, the choices they faced, and the lives they lived. My adult daughter is reading it now; I insisted on it, after we watched "Mona Lisa Smiles" together and she found the movie's emphasis on getting married too bizarre and implausible. A few chapters into it, she said, "This is the sort of stuff I wanted to learn in my women's studies courses."

Betsy Israel's writing is engaging and compelling; her approach is sensible and even-handed. If more people would read this, (and as a companion book, "The Way We Never Were") perhaps more energy could be channeled toward defining a healthier future instead of wasted on nostalgic delusions.