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Rating: 
Summary: Worth your time...
Review: "Should You Leave" is Peter Kramer's contribution to the "Self-Help
and Relationships" genre. There is cleverness working on several
levels as he goes from one anecdotal narrative to the next as so many
other books written by psychologists have done. But Kramer's goal is
not to give advice, it's to make the reader stop and think about what
advice is in the first place. He also builds on the themes he first
developed in "Listening To Prozac" and goes into the problem of how
undiagnosed depression can poison relationships and bring people to
the edge of divorce. The only real criticism you can level at this
book is that it was written because of the success of "Listening To
Prozac" and doesn't really have a strong reason to exist, other than
to provide Kramer with the opportunity to meander though several
themes for no other reason then that they are of interest to him as a
therapist. In the end he pulls off the rather clever trick of writing
a "Psychological Advice Book" that's a treatise on the nature of
psychology and of advice, but no real advice is provided, just a lot of
shrewd observations and food for thought. Do you think that's just a
little too clever? If so then you can skip this book, but if you're
still interested, good for you because you're in for a treat. This
book has better and more insightful psychological writing then you're
likely to find in any other dozen books on the subject. I have no
trouble recommending it.
Rating:
Summary: Good Book, But not an Easy Read
Review: I listened to the audiobook, and frankly I had to re-wind a few times to understand what Dr. Kramer was saying. It was almost like having an insider's view of what psychiatrists think, the thought processes they go through when deciding what techniques to use with patients. This book takes patience, but if you have the patience to re-wind or re-read, it is highly worth it. It was interesting to hear him talk about directive vs. non-directive approaches to therapy and when each is most applicable. I would have liked to see him include more examples of couples with children having problems. It seemed like a lot of his examples included childless couples. Also, a lot of his examples included those high on the socio-economic scale, which may turn off Johnny Lunchbox and Susie Middleclass. I wish he would have included more about Rogerian therapy, and it's non-directive nature. I also would have found some more references to religion interesting. All in all...it was a good book. A lot of thought went into the work, and I can certainly tell Dr. Kramer majored in English in college. Perhaps he would be better at writing fiction..just a thought. Jeffrey McAndrew
author of "Our Brown-Eyed Boy"
Rating:
Summary: Good Book, But not an Easy Read
Review: I listened to the audiobook, and frankly I had to re-wind a few times to understand what Dr. Kramer was saying. It was almost like having an insider's view of what psychiatrists think, the thought processes they go through when deciding what techniques to use with patients. This book takes patience, but if you have the patience to re-wind or re-read, it is highly worth it. It was interesting to hear him talk about directive vs. non-directive approaches to therapy and when each is most applicable. I would have liked to see him include more examples of couples with children having problems. It seemed like a lot of his examples included childless couples. Also, a lot of his examples included those high on the socio-economic scale, which may turn off Johnny Lunchbox and Susie Middleclass. I wish he would have included more about Rogerian therapy, and it's non-directive nature. I also would have found some more references to religion interesting. All in all...it was a good book. A lot of thought went into the work, and I can certainly tell Dr. Kramer majored in English in college. Perhaps he would be better at writing fiction..just a thought. Jeffrey McAndrew
author of "Our Brown-Eyed Boy"
Rating: 
Summary: Highest recommendations!
Review: Kramer's book title can be misleading at times. He gives an overview of very different relationship problems without the additional complication of children involved. He focuses on solutions within the partnership on the grounds that unsolved problems get carried over into the new relationship, and if it should not work out, essential relationship skills will have been acquired. He illustrates his cases with plenty of psychological history from Freud to Bowen including film, music and historical novels. While at times a bit tough to read, Kramer does break up the theories with practical applications. He provides explicit insight into the thought pattern of the psychiatrist and the professional- to- patient relationship. Kramer provides a very balanced approach of using drugs in therapy compared to cognitive approaches (he is the author of Listening to Prozac) which is quite refreshing. Don't expect a pre-digested self-help book with step- by- step instructions but an overall food for thought pattern that will keep your thoughts flowing until you can figure out the most helpful approach for yourself together with a psychiatrist like Kramer who knows that you need advice and guidance more than a yearlong travel back into your childhood. This is the absolute best book I have ever read about analysis, the reasons of heading into it, the dynamics of professional vs. patient relationship and the bigger picture of "where are we going in this relationship". A definite must for everyone in therapy, client or professional.
Rating:
Summary: Most Thought Provoking Book on Leaving a Relationship
Review: This book provides a lot of information on relationships. How they start, how they work, and forces that tend to tear them apart. In fact, I would rate it as the one of the best books on relationships that I have ever read. The author provides a survey of many different theories about relationships. This can help the reader form new perspectives about how to view their own situation. This book really makes you work. If you want to learn and dig deeper, expecially about yourself, this is a great book. If you want simple fast advice, in the "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" style, this is not for you. It seems that the reviewers who did not like this book, must prefer a book that "fixes" their relationship with relatively simple and straight forward advice. I understand the desire to have things that easy, but my experience suggests otherwise. Kramer's discussion is very intelligent and engaging. Sometimes the style was a bit frustrating, but it was different and probably made the book much more interesting. A must read for anyone who wants to gain a very broad perspective on relationships in a reasonably short amount of time.
Rating:
Summary: Deep, intelligent, funny, useful, challenging, unusual, ...
Review: This is a very excellent book because it demonstrates that no therapist or self-help book can tell you what to do because no such book can understand your history or the context of your current problems. Kramer underlines the point that there is really no standard of "emotional health" or anything like it that can really determine whether a relationship is worth continuing or not, and that is a message the reading public needs to hear. A sensitive, subtle, interesting book.
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