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Rating:  Summary: Stop complaining and try gaining insights Review: Here is the big question: Will you be better off having read the book. Yes. In today's fortunate world of near sexual equality Dr. Gray reminds us that we are still male and female, and should act that way where appropriate. Some reader reviews are bitingly negative, and that says more about the reviewer than the book. Be open. Get ideas. Discard others. Take it for what you want. But if you are open you will have some insights.
Also, some of us just don't want to face the truth that there is beauty and truth in treating men like men and women like women. Some insights confirmed in the book are that a woman's attraction grows by knowing a man and his strengths, not just by initial attraction and that women and men do intuitively expect men to be the pursuers and can sabatoge a relationship by reversing those roles. I also see how people sabotage their relationships by moving too fast.
Some people have complained about the list of meeting-place ideas near the end. He goes too far in my opinion in suggesting how far to go out of your box, like seeking people of different political parties at their events. Again, don't expect a book to save your love life, expect it to provide useful insights, some of which you will implement and some of which you won't. But isn't one small step worth the price and time of a book?
I have seen women and men sabotage their lives by going to far towards acting equal in all respects instead of equal but wonderfully different. I think the best benefit of his books is to show that the stereotypical male/female dynamics actually work. I am considering getting copies for friends whether single, dating, or married, because I can see many of the examples are true in real lives.
So here you are trying to decide whether or not to spend a few buck and hours gaining insights or watching TV reruns. I choose the former.
Rating:  Summary: If you want to improve your relationship, read the book Review: It amazes me whenever I read the negative reviews of John Grays books. People can argue all day about whether he's "qualified" or biased...or whether or not he generalizes too much. The fact is half of all marriages end in divorce and that rate doesn't seem to be improving but if only one person takes the time to try to learn the relationship skills necessary to improve his or her relationship, then maybe thats one less statistic. I've read Mars and Venus on a Date 6 times and I've read each of his other books no less than 3 times apiece. The insight that I've gained from his writings are invaluable and to be honest with you, I wonder where I would be without them. While no book can change your life, Mars and Venus on a date can at least point you in the right direction. Its still up to the individual to do the work. I am currently in the most wonderful relationship that I've ever been in..not perfect, but wonderful. Because finally I'm able to understand so much more than I've ever understood before, I'm now able to apply certain techniques to make my relationships better. No matter how much we want to deny it, men and women are very different creatures. If you want to question Dr. Gray's credentials, fine. But when your relationships keep failing and you have no clue why. Keep in mind that at least someone cares enough to try to explain it to you.
Rating:  Summary: Well intentioned perhaps, but perpetuates oudated attitudes Review: John Gray offers a sincere attempt to demystify the differences in thinking between men and women (much of his analysis here would seem to be at least largely valid) and to offer insight on how to maximise one's success when dating (his advice here seems flawed and outdated in several areas). His explanation of the different phases of attraction, the differences in the way men and women react to uncertainty provides some comfort by way of convincing explanations for those puzzled by the behaviour of someone of the opposite sex. This I found interesting. But unfortunately the book is heavily gender-biased. According to Gray, it is a man's prerogative to pursue and a woman's role to wait to be pursued. This may seem natural to some degree but he takes it too far. For women, forget ever taking any initiatives, he says, even after several dates. Let the man decide everything and just react as you go along. Take whatever he offers but be careful not to show your interest actively. Some of Gray's "wisdom": Let a man open the car door for you but never, ever reach over to unlock his door. This is a major faux-pas, he says, -- to do so would hurt the man's pride and defeat the purpose of his original gentlemanly gesture. Also, never offer to help a man and never provide advice but be sure to ask him for help and advice (in other words, be careful not to appear too resourceful and try to look helpless whenever possible). Never call a man other than to say hi, and certainly never to suggest you might want to see him (big no-no). He also says a woman's offer to go dutch anytime in the early stages of a relationship is insulting to a man, the reasoning being that the man will take this to mean he should not get his hopes up regarding sex. As a woman, I find the suggestion that allowing yourself to be treated or offering to go dutch (in other words, a question of money) is in any way linked to your "verdict" on the possibility of sex insulting to women. Gray has obviously not considered other possible reasons, such as politeness or wanting to participate as an equal (he fails to suggest that the man can always insist if it's an issue for him). Throughout the book he says dating itself is not about sharing but rather a time for women to focus on receiving from men and for men to focus on providing for a woman's happiness. May sound fine in theory but it seems to me this is too simplistic and not realistic in today's world. The "101 places to find your soulmate" were beyond belief- an excerpt:"#101 - On an airplane, hang out near the restrooms and strike up a conversation while waiting in line (...) be sure to walk up and down the aisles to be seen and to see if your soulmate is there." In short, it's interesting for the explanations of the differences in thinking, but disappointing in terms of dating advice.
Rating:  Summary: Valuable Info. Review: John Gray offers some important information that can be overlooked in men/women relationships. In this "PC" world we live in it isn't polite to say that men and women are different, but we are. And this book has some interesting insights into our differences. It has helped me to not take it so personal when men say and do (or don't say or do as the case may be) things that can be offensive. This book helps me to forgive and love the men in my life.
Rating:  Summary: OK at first, then offensive Review: John Gray's "Mars and Venus On a Date" is a solid piece of work, with well-reasoned insights into the dynamics of male-female romantic relationships. One note, though, to men who are shy, and might see the book as a guide to learning how to get dates more easily. Shyness is not really addressed here. This is by no means meant as a criticism, but given the notoriety of the "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" books, many men may wonder if this kind of help is being offered here. The closest Gray comes to touching on shyness is when he says that many men get tongue-tied when approaching women they're attracted to, and that usually the best advice is to say the most simple thing ("Hi, I'm John," etc.). He also briefly touches on the various ways women might flirt, and the ways to tastefully send out non-verbal cues that you're interested. This territory is covered in a total of maybe three paragraphs, at different points in the book. One of the last sections touches on dozens of places to meet your soulmate. The book is great for people who don't have any trouble in the initial, attraction phase. But for those who can't get to that first approach, this may not be the best place to start.
Rating:  Summary: OK at first, then offensive Review: The first 2/3 of the book was OK, with balanced "points of view" and "how-to's" for both men and women. Some of the information was interesting, explanatory, and useful; some was not. But then the author began giving unbalanced treatment, primarily telling women how they ought to behave and what they ought to say. The message was that a man has a large and fragile ego, and that a woman should support his ego. She should never disagree with him, except "playfully". In public, she should paint him as a white knight, regardless of what really happened. Perhaps it was just the author's writing style, but most of his examples, supposedly of real couples he'd observed or counseled, seemed made-up. Finally, at the end of the book, the author insults the reader's intelligence with an idiotic, redundant, and unnecessary list of 101 places to look for a mate. Very patronizing.
Rating:  Summary: Good content bad writing Review: This book has some decent guidelines and observations. I think anyone who reads it will benefit in one way or another. The only problem with this book is that it is writen in very simple english. It has a feel like it's meant for Junior H.S. kids with its simple sentence structures. Another problem with it is that it is highly repetetive, I believe the author could have squeezed the entire book into 1/3 of its size without the loss of generality. The 'real life' examples illustrating the dating rules seem extremely fake. It seems like the author just made up these stories to illustrate his point. I don't know if this is true but his simple writing style make it seem that way.
Rating:  Summary: Is dating really worth it? Review: This is really a book for women although men might benefit from it. After finishing it I must say that dating hardly seems worth the trouble!
The author describes a man as a person interviewing for a job and a woman as the employer. Men are supposed to meet a woman's needs and not be concerned about their own needs being met. A woman should never try to give back but is being very giving simply by being receptive to the man's giving. This is not a very encouraging book for men. Or maybe the author is right and I am having trouble accepting the way dating really works.
If you are a woman reading this I will say that the only relationships I have had that went beyond a couple of dates were ones in which she also had some concern for what my needs were and made an effort to give in return, and I am not talking about sex. But perhaps the author would think that these relationships of mine were dysfunctional because they didn't fit his rigidly defined roles and we never made it to stage 4 which is engagement.
I am not saying the author is right or wrong as I am a relatively inexperienced dater-time will tell I suppose. The book does provide a good mental framework for dating if you agree with the author's roles for men and women in a dating relationship. I am still not sure if I agree completely with the dating roles of men and women as described in this book but am willing at least to test them and see what kind of results follow.
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