Rating: 
Summary: Men and Women from the Same Planet
Review: An excellent book that faces the fact that the most glib communication artists (yes, even from the same planet)can produce an unhappy union if they have little in common. The book is meant for those considering a lifelong committment and encourages an honest inspection prior to marriage that can save a couple from the damning implication that "since marriage is good, you must be screwed up (or not working hard enough)."
Rating:
Summary: A Self Help Book I Can Recommend to My Patients
Review: As a partner in a successful marriage of 21 years, I am not often drawn to "self help--relationship" books. In my role as a primary physician I do, however, see the sad fallout of marriages that do not last. Thus it was on the recommendation of a colleague that I read Dr. Hamburg's book.In a very logical and readable format Dr. Hamburg outlines characteristics that are central to the success of a marriage. His central premise is that COMPATIBILITY is the key to a long-lasting relationship. This need not mean sameness, but rather a pattern of beliefs, goals and lifestyle that meshes with that of one's partner. Much of the emphasis of COMMUNICATION - style and ability to communicate - is misplaced, Hamburg contends. Couples may communicate very well but deliver messages that are inherently incompatible. Dr.Hamburg thus focuses on specific attributes of each partner and of their relationship.Too often, he points out, decisions are deferred which will make or break a marriage -- the most obvious being the decision whether to have a family. In a humorous but pointedly pertinent chapter he outlines "bad news" characteristics -- red flags that are destined to predict failure but are often overlooked. At the same time Dr. Hamburg develops a construct of three dimensions which each contribute to the success of a marriage -- "physical," "practical," and "wavelength." By combining examples, exercises and questions for partners to ponder together he maps out a way to ask the questions that will help a couple achieve an understanding of the level of their own compatibility. There aren't many self-help books that I can recommend to may patients without reservation, but this is definitely one.
Rating:
Summary: A Self Help Book I Can Recommend to My Patients
Review: As a partner in a successful marriage of 21 years, I am not often drawn to "self help--relationship" books. In my role as a primary physician I do, however, see the sad fallout of marriages that do not last. Thus it was on the recommendation of a colleague that I read Dr. Hamburg's book. In a very logical and readable format Dr. Hamburg outlines characteristics that are central to the success of a marriage. His central premise is that COMPATIBILITY is the key to a long-lasting relationship. This need not mean sameness, but rather a pattern of beliefs, goals and lifestyle that meshes with that of one's partner. Much of the emphasis of COMMUNICATION - style and ability to communicate - is misplaced, Hamburg contends. Couples may communicate very well but deliver messages that are inherently incompatible. Dr.Hamburg thus focuses on specific attributes of each partner and of their relationship.Too often, he points out, decisions are deferred which will make or break a marriage -- the most obvious being the decision whether to have a family. In a humorous but pointedly pertinent chapter he outlines "bad news" characteristics -- red flags that are destined to predict failure but are often overlooked. At the same time Dr. Hamburg develops a construct of three dimensions which each contribute to the success of a marriage -- "physical," "practical," and "wavelength." By combining examples, exercises and questions for partners to ponder together he maps out a way to ask the questions that will help a couple achieve an understanding of the level of their own compatibility. There aren't many self-help books that I can recommend to may patients without reservation, but this is definitely one.
Rating:
Summary: This Book Will Last
Review: As a psychologist, I am always on the lookout for a book that I can recommend to my clients. It is rare that I find one. This is one of very few books that I will tell my clients about and will personally reread. Too many self-help books offer up one or two ideas and then some advice. Helpful, but not enough. This book is different. The reader will learn to think about their relationship, love and compatibility in a clear but deep way. This will enhance communication, and for many, help them to be closer. For others, it will help them make some difficult decisions regarding the long term prospects of their relationship. Dr. Hamburg writes in a clear, very frank manner. He shows insight, compassion and simple wisdom. This is a great book!
Rating:
Summary: Hardcover Keeper
Review: Have no hesitation about buying Sam Hamburg's clear, realistic, and thoroughly engaging guide to understanding relationships, esp. marriage. He wisely acknowledges your experience with relationships of all kinds (romantic and non-romantic), gives excellent guidelines for understanding what you need from a relationship, and gives likewise excellent guidelines for the dynamics of the relationship itself. I am glad I did not wait until this book made it to paperback--it is one I am glad to have in hardcover. I would STRONGLY urge anyone considering taking the vows to read this book!
Rating:
Summary: A Wise Book that Really Helps People Think
Review: In contrast to so many marriage self-help books that rehash the same old message, this book contains real wisdom. I strongly recommend it to anyone contemplating commitment in a relationship or concerned about their marriage. As a college teacher and researcher, I've read a great many self-help books that proport to guide people in their marriage decisions. Most have one major flaw: the authors assure us that by "just working harder" at our relationships, we will suceed. I've noticed how many people try the advice in book after book and continue to feel a sense of personal failure in their relationships. In contrast, Dr. Hamburg's simple wisdom shows a way out of this cycle of failure.His approach is quite radical yet easily understood and mastered by anyone willing to take the time. He never talks down to the reader, and one can sense the depth of experience and compassion he brings to the book. I learned alot from reading the book and I've given it to many friends.
Rating:
Summary: This is a MUST HAVE for all couples, pre & post marriage!
Review: Samuel Hamburg answered so many questions I had about love and feelings, I couldn't put the book down. His theories about what makes love last and why some couples, even when both of them seem like nice people, aren't right together. This book can save couples the mistakes that many others have made. It may also help struggling couples who don't know why they're having problems. I know it's helped me. I just wish I had this book years ago. It should be REQUIRED READING FOR ALL PEOPLE CONTEMPLATING MARRIAGE! READ IT TODAY!
Rating:
Summary: This is a MUST HAVE for all couples, pre & post marriage!
Review: Samuel Hamburg answered so many questions I had about love and feelings, I couldn't put the book down. His theories about what makes love last and why some couples, even when both of them seem like nice people, aren't right together. This book can save couples the mistakes that many others have made. It may also help struggling couples who don't know why they're having problems. I know it's helped me. I just wish I had this book years ago. It should be REQUIRED READING FOR ALL PEOPLE CONTEMPLATING MARRIAGE! READ IT TODAY!
Rating:
Summary: Married? New love? Looking for love? You should read this
Review: The author presents a fairly straightforward theory of how he's seen compatibility relate to long term marital happiness and stability. He breaks it down to three areas: practical, sexual and wavelength. I've thought a lot in the past about the way I relate or don't relate in relationhships, but reading this book I had a number of "aha" moments where I felt like this makes real sense. I've discussed his ideas with a number of friends and the consensus is he's right on. The great thing is that after you read this I'll bet you'll feel compelled to talk about these ideas with friends and more importantly your lover. It's an easy, accessible read that I would see as invaluable to people looking for love or married for years.
Rating:
Summary: Married? New love? Looking for love? You should read this
Review: The author presents a fairly straightforward theory of how he's seen compatibility relate to long term marital happiness and stability. He breaks it down to three areas: practical, sexual and wavelength. I've thought a lot in the past about the way I relate or don't relate in relationhships, but reading this book I had a number of "aha" moments where I felt like this makes real sense. I've discussed his ideas with a number of friends and the consensus is he's right on. The great thing is that after you read this I'll bet you'll feel compelled to talk about these ideas with friends and more importantly your lover. It's an easy, accessible read that I would see as invaluable to people looking for love or married for years.
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