<< 1 >>
Rating: 
Summary: Overcoming Childhood Abuse
Review: Before reading further, please be aware that this book deals with extreme examples of beatings and sexual abuse of children. The details are not made any more graphic than is necessary to the argument, but the examples will be disturbing to most readers.Dr. Miller argues that childhood abuse is more prevalent and damaging than appreciated by most. Many victims cannot easily remember that they were abused. Others experienced personality twists that caused them to identify positively with the abuse and abusers as signs of love. The victims often victimize their own children in the same ways, and find their personal relationships inhibited by the obedience patterns imposed by parents and other authority figures. She goes on to argue that the damage is permanently recorded in the brain, and can encourage criminal behavior by leaders and individuals. Dr. Miller approaches the subject from a psychotherapist's viewpoint, but with little jargon. The book is designed for "readers who want to think about their lives and test new ideas . . . ." The core of her argument is that children need the loving support and freedom to express who they feel comfortable being. When parents and other authority figures use physical punishment, humiliation, and other ways of securing compliance, the result is a person will a reduced to her or his own nature and reduced emotional intelligence. She goes on to connect these experiences to the murders by tyrants (Hitler, Stalin, and Milosevic) as well as the aggrandizing actions by other leaders (like Frederick the Great and Napoleon). She ties German willingness to follow orders in the Holocaust to German child-rearing practices. In examining religious texts, religious practices, medical practices, educational institutions, and how professionals talk about their own parenting, she identifies physical abuse in childhood as a taboo subject in advanced societies. Her prescription is that the effects of childhood abuse can be ameliorated by having helping witnesses (people who affirm the child as good and worthy of love while the abuse is going on) and enlightened witnesses, often mental health professional (people who help explore the childhood memories with interest and understanding). Be prepared to have some of your most fundamental beliefs challenged. Dr. Miller takes on the traditional Old Testament view of God and the nature of sin, opposes male and female circumcision, decries many standard child toilet training and punishment practices, and favors the elimination of all corporal punishment of children (including hand slapping). On the positive side, she describes the childhood experiences of Jesus and Gorbachev as models. For professionals in all fields, she also encourages a caring look at childhood experiences of those with standard illnesses as well as those in prisons. I was particularly impressed by her argument that biographers should attempt to learn the details of any physical or emotional abuse that the subject may have experienced as a child. This book evoked a lot of different reactions in me. First, as a matter of personal taste, I agree with using love and encouragement rather than physical punishment as a way to help children develop good habits. So she was preaching to the choir in having me as a reader. Second, at an emotional level, I found the book stirring up lots of vivid childhood memories that I had probably not thought about in 40 years. In thinking about those memories, I drew new meaning from them . . . both about how I had interpreted them as a child and what they meant about both adults and me. I felt freer as a result. That's an unusual reaction for me to have to a book. Third, at a logical level, I found the arguments over done. Everything seems to be viewed only from the perspective of child abuse. Surely, most kinds of unfortunate adult behavior also have some other causes. I do admire and appreciate the consistency and energy she has applied to making people more aware of this issue. I certainly learned a lot, and am glad that I did. After you read this book (and I hope you do), think about someone you have met who has physically or emotionally abusive reactions to problems. Consider how you might make that person aware of the ideas in this book in a caring way. This action could be the beginning of helping them overcome the effects of what might have been caused in part by childhood abuse. Smile, approach with kindness, and give a hug!
Rating:
Summary: a re-tread of her wonderful and classic point of view
Review: It's hard not to give anything by Alice Miller five stars, because I think she's the greatest psychology writer out there today - at least the one who's influenced my personal growth and my work as a psychotherapist the most - BUT... But, this book just isn't her greatest, and I found the same problem with it that I found with her last few books...that they're really just a re-tread of her old themes, and her ideas just aren't expanding that much further than those presented in her early classics (For Your Own Good, Drama of the Gifted Child, Thou Shalt Not Be Aware). Granted, this book has its little gems, little case studies here and there in which she expresses her point of view from a slightly new angle, little lines in which she hits the nail right on the head, but if you read her classics and you avoid this book you won't be missing much.
That said, if this is the first (or only) Alice Miller book you come across, you really won't be let down. And perhaps that's her point. In each of her books she presents a concise version of her whole point of view, as if to make sure you don't miss it. And since her point of view is truly classic, so is each of her books regardless of its repetitious nature...this one included.
Rating: 
Summary: best responce from amazon ever
Review: proffessional vender!! book was NEW just as he advertised. received the book quickly. I am enjoying reading this book right now on a cold winter's night.
Rating:
Summary: best responce from amazon ever
Review: The terrorist, the mass murderer, the anorexic . . .
At the very beginning of human history, well before the Ten Commandments, we were presented with a supreme and destructive commandment. "Thou shalt not be mindful of the things done to you or the things you have done to others." For thousands of years, this "commandment of ignorance" has undermined our education and our childrearing, and has prevented us from telling good from evil. And although evil is learned and is not innate, it is reproduced with each new generation. When we deny our childhood wounds, we will inflict them on the next generation--unless and until we act in favor of knowledge. "Only by knowing the truth can we be set free."
Alice Miller continues to impress and inspire. The Truth Will Set You Free (published in Europe as Eve's Awakening) challenges us to reflect about our secrets and our shortcomings. Miller exposes one of society's dirtiest secrets--that we are "emotionally blind" to the abuses suffered by prisoners of childhood. Innocent children--no matter their country, class, or generation--are neglected, humiliated, abused. Small children cannot survive such truths and can only repress them. But, because "the body never forgets," one's cauldron of pain seethes in the unconscious.
Fortunately for these young victims, psychological defenses offer partial protection against pain and anxiety. But repressing childhood traumas leaves mental barriers, an inner void, and the emotional blindness that prods one to harm themselves and others. These young victims become the suicides and psychopaths, the criminals and killers, the prostitutes and self-mutilators . . . as well as the everyday parents who abuse us "for our own good." All are trapped in unconscious compulsions to reenact their destructive childhood dramas on themselves and others.
Throughout this work, Miller questions the Bible. She notes that the Bible contains much that is fine and true, but much "poisonous pedagogy" as well. We must have the courage to eat the apple from the tree of knowledge, to question that which is illogical. Is obedience a virtue? Is curiosity a sin? Is ignorance of good and evil an ideal state? Miller argues that it is our duty to overcome childhood wounds and to acquire knowledge--by overcoming our defenses and our "emotional blindness"--so that we may come to know good from evil, and thereby become more fully responsible for our actions. We are responsible for future generations, too, so we must love and protect all children, no matter the hostility, condemnation, or ostracism that we may encounter.
But how can we overcome our "emotional blindness"? Not through medication, not through meditation, not through relaxation training. Only by embarking on an indispensable journey of self-discovery, in which we confront our childhood traumas and uncover our early emotions. Telling the stories of our childhood allows us to break down walls and reclaim banished knowledge--but only in the presence of an enlightened witness. We benefit from simple regressions, and even from momentary glimpses, into our childhood experiences. A picture of our childhood gradually emerges. And when we discover personal truths, we regain our vitality, our sensitivity, our ability to love.
Many of these ideas, suggests Miller, are supported by recent brain research. There is new knowledge about psychobiological defenses, and about the damage caused to individuals by stress, trauma and neglect. She credits Joseph LeDoux, Debra Niehoff, Candace Pert, Daniel Schacter, and Robert Sapolsky for the discovery that early emotions leave "indelible traces" in the body.
But despite these important scientific discoveries, we have yet to change the way we treat children. Miller is optimistic that legislation and parental education can and will reduce violence to children. This "principle of prevention" will cause our mentality, and our society, to change in stages. Such legislation has already advanced in Sweden, Germany, and South Africa.
Throughout this important new book, we are reminded of Miller's previous and seminal insights: that every criminal was humiliated, neglected or abused in childhood; that only people beaten as children feel the compulsion to beat their own children; and that the world's worst tyrants had childhoods marked by extreme cruelty and humiliation. They had no empathic helpers, no enlightened witnesses. Dictators such as Hitler, Stalin, Ceausescu and Mao, for example, unconsciously reenacted their childhood situations on the political stage. They defended against their pain first through denial, and then through the idealization of their parents. They came to glorify violence, and eventually took revenge on whole nations and peoples as a way of getting even for the cruelty they had once experienced. At one very important level, it is society's blindness to suppressed childhood pain and rage that makes war possible.
Also included in the current volume are brief critiques of the avoidance of childhood in six fields--medicine, psychotherapy, politics, the penal system, religion, and biography. Several new case studies (including the psychoanalyst Harry Guntrip) appear, and important insights are offered into corporal punishment, eating disorders, and circumcision. Finally, several important new books and web sites are recommended to readers.
Rating:
Summary: Thou Shalt Be Aware
Review: The terrorist, the mass murderer, the anorexic . . .
At the very beginning of human history, well before the Ten Commandments, we were presented with a supreme and destructive commandment. "Thou shalt not be mindful of the things done to you or the things you have done to others." For thousands of years, this "commandment of ignorance" has undermined our education and our childrearing, and has prevented us from telling good from evil. And although evil is learned and is not innate, it is reproduced with each new generation. When we deny our childhood wounds, we will inflict them on the next generation--unless and until we act in favor of knowledge. "Only by knowing the truth can we be set free."
Alice Miller continues to impress and inspire. The Truth Will Set You Free (published in Europe as Eve's Awakening) challenges us to reflect about our secrets and our shortcomings. Miller exposes one of society's dirtiest secrets--that we are "emotionally blind" to the abuses suffered by prisoners of childhood. Innocent children--no matter their country, class, or generation--are neglected, humiliated, abused. Small children cannot survive such truths and can only repress them. But, because "the body never forgets," one's cauldron of pain seethes in the unconscious.
Fortunately for these young victims, psychological defenses offer partial protection against pain and anxiety. But repressing childhood traumas leaves mental barriers, an inner void, and the emotional blindness that prods one to harm themselves and others. These young victims become the suicides and psychopaths, the criminals and killers, the prostitutes and self-mutilators . . . as well as the everyday parents who abuse us "for our own good." All are trapped in unconscious compulsions to reenact their destructive childhood dramas on themselves and others.
Throughout this work, Miller questions the Bible. She notes that the Bible contains much that is fine and true, but much "poisonous pedagogy" as well. We must have the courage to eat the apple from the tree of knowledge, to question that which is illogical. Is obedience a virtue? Is curiosity a sin? Is ignorance of good and evil an ideal state? Miller argues that it is our duty to overcome childhood wounds and to acquire knowledge--by overcoming our defenses and our "emotional blindness"--so that we may come to know good from evil, and thereby become more fully responsible for our actions. We are responsible for future generations, too, so we must love and protect all children, no matter the hostility, condemnation, or ostracism that we may encounter.
But how can we overcome our "emotional blindness"? Not through medication, not through meditation, not through relaxation training. Only by embarking on an indispensable journey of self-discovery, in which we confront our childhood traumas and uncover our early emotions. Telling the stories of our childhood allows us to break down walls and reclaim banished knowledge--but only in the presence of an enlightened witness. We benefit from simple regressions, and even from momentary glimpses, into our childhood experiences. A picture of our childhood gradually emerges. And when we discover personal truths, we regain our vitality, our sensitivity, our ability to love.
Many of these ideas, suggests Miller, are supported by recent brain research. There is new knowledge about psychobiological defenses, and about the damage caused to individuals by stress, trauma and neglect. She credits Joseph LeDoux, Debra Niehoff, Candace Pert, Daniel Schacter, and Robert Sapolsky for the discovery that early emotions leave "indelible traces" in the body.
But despite these important scientific discoveries, we have yet to change the way we treat children. Miller is optimistic that legislation and parental education can and will reduce violence to children. This "principle of prevention" will cause our mentality, and our society, to change in stages. Such legislation has already advanced in Sweden, Germany, and South Africa.
Throughout this important new book, we are reminded of Miller's previous and seminal insights: that every criminal was humiliated, neglected or abused in childhood; that only people beaten as children feel the compulsion to beat their own children; and that the world's worst tyrants had childhoods marked by extreme cruelty and humiliation. They had no empathic helpers, no enlightened witnesses. Dictators such as Hitler, Stalin, Ceausescu and Mao, for example, unconsciously reenacted their childhood situations on the political stage. They defended against their pain first through denial, and then through the idealization of their parents. They came to glorify violence, and eventually took revenge on whole nations and peoples as a way of getting even for the cruelty they had once experienced. At one very important level, it is society's blindness to suppressed childhood pain and rage that makes war possible.
Also included in the current volume are brief critiques of the avoidance of childhood in six fields--medicine, psychotherapy, politics, the penal system, religion, and biography. Several new case studies (including the psychoanalyst Harry Guntrip) appear, and important insights are offered into corporal punishment, eating disorders, and circumcision. Finally, several important new books and web sites are recommended to readers.
<< 1 >>
|
