Rating: Summary: GROWING UP WITH PAIN THAT CANNOT BE DENIED Review: 2 stars After reading Barras' explanation and description and interpretation of what life has been like for her concerning the concept, structure and realization of a father figure in her life and in the life of her daughter I conclude that 1/3 of the book is reporting on painful emotional feelings and psychological confusion; 1/3 reporting on research that is usual and available and interpreted in a prevailing view that homes without "fathers" produce dysfunctional children and adults, although, more than half the homes in America do not have a resident-male performing the role of father and 1/3 of the book is pure puff, pure market exploitation. Yet, I also concluded that I will buy the book for my daughters but I will glue my review and interpretation of the book, in detail, to the inside cover. I will use this book and "Becoming Dad" by Leonard Pitts, Jr. as text for classes in cultural anthropology because these discussions of "fatherlessness" are so culturally based. But even more, they indicate clearly the cultural differences between what a "father" was suppose to be in the 40s and 50s in comparison to what a father is suppose to be today. What is a father? That depends. That depends upon the region of the world, the environment and the era. That clearly makes it a psychological cultural-construct. The data on "Daddy" in the home (i.e. an active role) is clear that it depends on the cultural and economic development of the males in a population. So the socio-economic factors point to political punts and blocks. In other words, the American government has supported the development of white manhood, and the subsequent development of white fatherhood and with the employment of women even that effort is slipping. This book and others like it can be a lethal weapon, a hurtful instrument, for women who are vulnerably disconnected in a dreamy, fanciful reality. All 35-year olds who read the book should read the very last line of the book, first, realize Barras is now 50, then read the book with that in mind. That is, realize that this psychological-cultural painful phenomenon is called, "growing up." . . . . I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH BARRAS: "The only thing I can hear clearly is the fatherless song. I sing it sorrowfully, achingly, the way Billie Holiday sang `Strange Fruit.'" (pg. 34) Thousands of black people (& about 200 white sympathizers) were tortured, beaten, mutilated and burned, then hung from trees all over the South because (some) white people hated and was allowed to hate and Barras compares that with her childhood fantasy of a father and her mother's abrupt lack of sensitivity, which we all will grow out of eventually because we will realize the fancifulness of it all but torture and murder and rape are real. Somehow, I don't think these are the same thing or even similar in the essence of living human, do you?
Rating: Summary: An Incredible First Step Toward Being Whole Review: An associate pastor from my church back home gave my mother this book and she told me I had to read it as I am divorced and raising a girl-child on my own. Within these pages I found myself and the stories of countless other women I have been friends with since time began. Since reading it, I have recommended the book to everyone male and female. There is an incredible wealth of information between these covers. At times, it was all I could do to continue. There has been painful introspection but I am the better for it. This is a book guaranteed to touch the lives of the majority. It is important to face those difficult spaces in our lives as we raise the next generation of men and women. Face them head on so our sons and daughters don't find themselves in the same traps that many of us look up from now. This is one of the most important books that I have ever read. If you are a woman who lived in a household where your father was physically or emotionally absent, this is a must-read for you. In the end there IS hope as you celebrate your accomplishments and victories. I don't believe we walk this journey toward wholeness alone. Thank you Ms. Barras!
Rating: Summary: Father-Me-Less Syndrome Review: Father-Me-Less Syndrome, that's what we're calling it. Oh yes, we're talking about the book and the subject. There seems to be two schools of thought on this issue. One is that Father wasn't there, wish he was but he wasn't, and life goes on and the other is that I prefer to see it the white way and get more time with the therapist: Father Ain't Here And I Want To Shoot Myself. FATHER IS A ROLE! HELLO! FATHER IS A ROLE!!!!! Your Daddy didn't want to do it, wasn't ready to do it or he didn't know how. That's two ways to see it and there is probably more. We need to talk about it but we need to hear an opposing view --that is, if some of yall want to stop hurting unnecessarily. This is how many of us feel about it over here and we're looking for a publisher for our book. Like I said, the other way to view this human cultural phenonmenon is, I Just Don't Why I Feel This Big Hole and Emptiness in My Life--I Tried Hating Myself But I've Grown Tired of That and That Wasn't the Answer, So Let Me Try Blaming People Who Weren't Where They Were Supppose To Be In My Life. Now that feels better. For now. On and on till the next thing wrong with yo'self comes along. It's very groupified --new group forming for fatherless women--and it will sell books too. But you should read another opinion by people who lived the life too. Just remember this, for those who want on this bandwagon and I say go for it--gurfriend needs your sales, remember "BURN YOUR BRA!" from the 60s. Some of us did. Then, I said THEN, we noticed we had C, D, and E cup breasts. Seriously though, I think Barras is on to something -- Thank you, Miss Barras, but we over here disagree with you but your book got us to talking about it. And talking about it brings on the healing and the growing. So, 5 stars to you for that. But I feel that reviewer, Marcel Marchieu from San Franciso, August 19, 2000, said it best: "A Misguided Focus for an Otherwise Necessary Topic." But then he said, "I was excited that the African American community finally acknowledged the impact of fatherlessness on African American women." Well, I take issue with inferring that African American women have a fatherless problem. I think all of Western society has a deficit there. Look for our book on this subject. In the meantime read Barras and join the discussion. Thanks for your attention.
Rating: Summary: Wonderful Read Review: I didn't give as much thought as I should have about growing up without a father or reliable father figure. Yet while reading this book, I saw many of my realities on the pages. Regardless of a societies cultural practices, every adult and child has a role to play and when it is compromised or ignored, the social structure falters. That's what Barras was talking about. Every fatherless woman won't have the same experiences, but most must admit that their view of the world is markedly different from women who grew up with positive influences from both parents regardless of their marital status. Clearly some of us adapt better than others, but Barras's theory has merrit.
Rating: Summary: A Misguided Focus for an Otherwise Necessary Topic Review: I read "Whatever Happened to Daddy's Little Girl : The Impact of Fatherlessness on Black Women" by Jonetta Rose Barras because I was excited that the African American community finally acknowledged the impact of fatherlessness on African American women. However, I was disheartened while reading it in that Ms. Barras exposed such a hurtful part of herself only to lapse back into the verbal woman-bashing that plagues so many books that effect how we look at ourselves as a community. A deeper issue may not be her father's absence, but her demons with her own mother and the feelings of betrayal at her mother's hands. I don't feel that the Women's Movement of the 60's & 70's pushed her father out of her home, and she has a terribly difficult time acknowledging *everyone's* responsibility in a frustrating situation --as an individual and as a part of a community.A little more even handedness and less venomous finger pointing may actually allow us to look closer at what the *real* problems are in our community. Only then can we *truly* work together and stop bashing the increasing numbers of single, women-headed homes that many of us were raised in.
Rating: Summary: Thank You Jonetta Review: I would like to re-iterate what a joy and a healing it has been for me reading "Whatever Happened to Daddy's Little Girl" by Jonetta Rose Barras. This book has literally captured my insecurities, made me admit to them, look deep into myself about where they came from, and encouraged me to know that I can come from it all and be a complete woman. I would like to encourage anyone to read it, even if you grew up with your father, because we need to know how to edify our sisters and provide that understanding for that sister that may not have had it as well as you have. I'm already thinking about starting a group in my church for women my age, who may be going through these situations and suffering silently because they feel no one understands. Anyway, I could go on and on, but I have said enough. GOD BLESS, Tamara
Rating: Summary: Thank You Jonetta Review: I would like to re-iterate what a joy and a healing it has been for me reading "Whatever Happened to Daddy's Little Girl" by Jonetta Rose Barras. This book has literally captured my insecurities, made me admit to them, look deep into myself about where they came from, and encouraged me to know that I can come from it all and be a complete woman. I would like to encourage anyone to read it, even if you grew up with your father, because we need to know how to edify our sisters and provide that understanding for that sister that may not have had it as well as you have. I'm already thinking about starting a group in my church for women my age, who may be going through these situations and suffering silently because they feel no one understands. Anyway, I could go on and on, but I have said enough. GOD BLESS, Tamara
Rating: Summary: Thank You Jonetta Review: I would like to say what a joy and a healing it has been for me reading "Whatever Happened to Daddy's Little Girl" (The Impact of Fatherlessness on Black Women) by Jonetta Rose Barras. I have read it but constantly go back to it since I finished it. This book has literally captured my insecurities, made me admit to them, look deep into myself about where they came from, and encouraged me to know that can come from it all and be a complete woman. I would encourage anyone to read it, even if you grew up with your father, because we need to know how to edify our sisters and provide that understanding for that siter that may not have had it as well as you have. I'm already thinking about starting a group in my church for women my age, who may be going through these situations and suffering silently because they feel no one understands. Anyway, I could go on and on, but I think i have said enough. GOD BLESS
Rating: Summary: Thanks for the lightbulb moments! Review: Thanks to the author for taking a stab at such a complex, mult-layered issue facing African American women. Finally, I can identify and name the numerous plagues that have colored phases of my life. She shared such private information in a candid and "real" manner. It was so uplifting to read her words. They resonated in me. Her writing style was clear, concise and robust. In addition, there were aspects that served as cathartic venues for emotional release. I cried while reading the symptoms of fatherlessness and can now revel in the "Fatherless Woman Syndrome". It has become part of a personal mantra because as the author shared, the feelings of rejection, abandonment, depression and anger tend to be repressed over long periods of time. Thanks to her noted testimonies, I can embrace the pain that I once denied and ignored. The only criticism that I can offer is that the book does not provide specific steps for healing and lacks a description of what the healing "looks" like in individuals that have done the emotional work. Specifically, most of the book contained descriptions of women with time-sensitive interactions with their fathers. I struggled with this because the text excluded women that have NEVER had any contact with their biological or otherwise fathers. I am in this category and would have appreciated hearing from women like myself. Also, it would have been useful if the author included perspectives from social workers that who counsel youth with this issue, especially since they tend to promote the value of one parent in the child's life regardless of the gender - typically supporting mothers. Again, the author should be credited for bearing her soul and telling her story!
Rating: Summary: anti-feminist, overstated claptrap......from a sista! Review: This is another example of what happens when good articles are extended into poor booklength works. The author's mother said the author's father forced her through a glass window once and yet the author blames her mother and all women with a backbone on fatherlessness in Black America. Daniel Moynihan's 1965 report on the Black family has been attacked by African-American thinkers of both genders, yet Barras hardly sees a problem with it. This book does nothing but blame women for being victims. Like all conservative rants, it blames feminists, rather than sexism for the problems that women have. This could have been an exciting, thoughtful book; instead, the author speaks in hyperbole and sees no problem with being ridiculously one-sided. Further, she's a journalist, not an academic or an author. Thus, not only should the book be seen as amateur, but it's written in an allegorical style that I found silly. This book should not be embraced by the African-American community. As a pro-feminist brotha, I can't understand why a sista would created this misogynistic tool to harm Black single mothers and womanists throughout the nation.
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