Peace Between the Sheets: Healing With Sexual Relationships

Rating:
Summary: A new approach to building strong relationships
Review: A well-written, slyly humorous book that recommends an entirely unconventional approach to atrengthening intimate relationships. Although the book's suggestion to achieve sexual satisfaction by avoiding instead of pursuing orgasm is in opposition to the daily messages we receive in American culture, the author, Marnia Robinson, makes a compelling case -- via both psychological and scientific arguments -- to give it a try. The book is definitely worth a try too.

Rating:
Summary: A new approach to building strong relationships
Review: A well-written, slyly humorous book that recommends an entirely unconventional approach to atrengthening intimate relationships. Although the book's suggestion to achieve sexual satisfaction by avoiding instead of pursuing orgasm is in opposition to the daily messages we receive in American culture, the author, Marnia Robinson, makes a compelling case -- via both psychological and scientific arguments -- to give it a try. The book is definitely worth a try too.

Rating:
Summary: Pansexual people beware!
Review: I found this book to be misleading in many ways. While the title and premise of the book seem sex-positive and open-minded, some of the material and beliefs within are restrictive and fear-based.
The author had some sex-negative attitudes that don't need to be included in a book about spiritual sex.
First, orgasm is described in a negative way throughout the book. Although there is value to orgasm-free sex as a means of higher connection with a partner, there is also great fun in orgasm too! Marnia Robinson consistently forgets this fact.
Second, the book is strongly anti-masturbation. Quitting masturbation is suggested over and over as her universal fix-it. Ms Robinson seems opposed to masturbation on a deep level bordering pathological. Masturbation is protrayed as addictive, selfish, physically unhealthy, morally wrong, etc. I almost expected her to tell her readers that they'll get hairy palms or go blind!
Third, and this is VERY important, she portrays gays, lesbians, and bisexuals as being spiritually and emotionally sick, and their relationships as being inherently unfulfilling. She goes so far as to suggest ignorant "cures" for homosexuality, always centered on (of course), quitting masturbation. Homosexual, bisexual, and pansexual people, beware, you will have to get past this highly offensive material if you will enjoy this book at all. It probably won't be worth it.
Forth, the author also has a negative attitude towards polyamory relationship styles, which she mentions only briefly and compares to sexual addiction. She implies that the polyamory person doesn't love their primary partner enough, and polyamory relationships, like homosexual relationships, are spirituall sick.
Now, if the reader shares the above beliefs, and is in a heterosexual monogamous long-term relationship that needs refreshing, by all means, ignore my complaints and read the book for yourself.
But those of us who don't fit the "traditional" relationship mold will certainly feel left out, and probably very offended as well.
The author seems to want her readers to emulate her own orgasm-free monogamous relationship. While this may work for her, it doesn't work for everyone.
Don't pay full price for this book. If you'd like some new ideas for an intimate evening with your lover, there are some practical suggestions here that can help you emotionally connect. I'm not saying that some of the material isn't valuable. Just be aware of the author's inherent bias.

Rating:
Summary: Loving your way to enlightenment
Review: I liked his book a lot, though a better title might be one of its chapter titles: The Ecstatic Exchanges and a subtitle perhaps: Loving your way to enlightenment.
If you sense there can be more to sexual union than O's, then this book might be for you. It describes why you might want to retain your sexual energy and how to do so, beginning in a four week program. It sounds like a wonderful way to establish a deep connection with a lover, but I can't say how it works in practice. I have spoken with several friends who have tried this sort of thing, and they swear by it.
The book avoids technical tantric techniques and instead suggests a new way of loving that is easy and natural, though very intimate.
It's time for a new way of loving, I'd say, and this book offers some wonderful suggestions about how to do that and reasons why it would be beneficial for everyone involved.

Rating:
Summary: Give Peace a Chance!
Review: I was thrilled to discover this book! It provides a compelling neurobiological explanation for what I had already been sensing to be psychologically, emotionally and spiritually true. As certified sexologists and teachers of "Intimacy Retreats," my husband and I teach couples to explore a more peaceful approach to their sexual activity. Peace Between the Sheets helps validate our teachings.

Intimacy is definitely enhanced through the program of the "ecstatic exchanges" offered in this book.

When a couple makes love in a way that fulfills their deep-seated need for connection and authentic presence, they share a truly joyous and peaceful experience that can continue beyond the bedroom. Congratulations to Marnia for daring to look outside the box of conventional sex and shifting the focus from lust to love.

This book is easy and enjoyable to read, and a major contribution to current thinking about sex and relationships.


Rating:
Summary: Returning true intimacy to your relationship
Review: Marnia Robinson has researched the split and tension in modern relationships between men and women. Her solution-a return to the ancient ways of intimacy. Rather than devouring each other and leaving each other empty and feeling a depressing sense of lack, Robinson offers us not just theory but the how-to of healing with sexual relationships. The healing is not just
physical and mental but spiritual. The final chapter of Section I, before the how-to of the Ecstatic Exchanges in Section II, describes a Divine connection-one which the ancient Taoists and Tibetan Buddhists have always known. You cannot be selfish and generous at the same time; you cannot be hungry and nourished at the same time. Therefore, with the sexual energy transmuted through the heart center to nourish each other, the flow of abundance in life balances with the life force and merges us not just with our partners but with the Source from whence we came.
Review first published in Innerchange Magazine by Kathryn Lanier.

Rating:
Summary: Works for us
Review: My wife and I have been practicing the ideas in "Peace" for two months now, and this is the closest, and most consistently-loving that we have been in 11 years of marriage. The thought of giving up orgasm altogether is unsettling, but the potential in this idea merits exploration.

I was interested to read Satyr's review. I did not see Peace Between the Sheets as a polemic against any sexual practices. Rather, the author's point is that the over-stimulation (at a brain chemistry level) of orgasm creates a desire for separation between partners of any sexual persuasion. As she points out, this wisdom has been around for thousands of years. We just never hear about it.

For me, it was interesting to contemplate, as Robinson does, whether this built-in separation trigger may be behind all forms of alienation between the sexes. It seemed to me that she was no more against masturbation or homosexuality than she was against celibacy or churning in heterosexual relationships. Her views are, in fact, quite inclusive.

I find the book very sex positive, very pro-intimacy, and refreshingly clear in defining the benefits to be gained from lasting relationships. It works for us.

Rating:
Summary: re-thinking our sexuality
Review: Part I of PEACE BETWEEN THE SHEETS poses several important & unsettling questions among which are:
Why do we fall out of love & our relationships fail?
When our "perfect" match leaves, why are we so crazy?
Why are women & men at such odds with each other?
Having gotten rid of our sexual hang-ups, why do we suffer sexual hangovers?
How can we make enduring love as well as sustainable relationships?
How can we break the spell of biology?
How can we exercise saner sex?

With scientific research, wisdom from the Ancients of the East, personal stories, & healthy doses of humor in the form of aphorisms from the trenches of the battlefield between the sexes, PEACE BETWEEN THE SHEETS is an accessible guide for all Readers who know there is something unhealthy, unsatisfying & unexplained in their failing sexual relationships.

Remember, 50% of all American marriages end in divorce, & no one knows the % of relationships which never make it to the ring stage.

Part II of PEACE BETWEEN THE SHEETS is the How of healing what has tied the best of us up in knots for most of our sexual life. Offering ancient, tried & true exercises in a joyful, stressless way.

... recommends PEACE BETWEEN THE SHEETS as an earnest & hopeful, intelligent & amusing adventure in re-discovering our sexuality. It then shows us how to open our hearts & re-train our bodies & minds to re-create healthy sexual relationships.

Rating:
Summary: A common-sense, informative, & strongly recommended resource
Review: Peace Between The Sheets: Healing With Sexual Relationships by Marnia Robinson is a candid guide to improving and sustaining the quality of one's sex life. Practical advice concerning the profound and sometimes negative impact biology has on sexual and love lives; straight talk about female orgasms; practical wisdom concerning the importance of seeking balance; user friendly checklists and activities for fourteen "ecstatic exchanges" to rejuvenate oneself and one's passion; and so much more fill the pages of this practical, common-sense, informative, and strongly recommended resource.

Rating:
Summary: Creating Love, Harmony, Groundedness In Sexual Relationship
Review: Reading "Peace Between The Sheets.." has had a profound impact on my outlook regarding sexual expression and intimate relationship. My life has been filled with endlessly unsatisfactory interludes interspersed with long "dry spells" when I was "not getting any. I have often "been on the prowl" looking for my next relationship.

In clear, concise language; Marnia Robinson weaves together pieces of solid neuroscience and ancient tantric knowledge to create a new path towards harmonious and loving intimacy. She explains the "how" and "why" of cupid's poisoned arrow. The culprit is the neurochemical "dopamine" which is released with the BIG O; and which also has the nasty side effect of causing emotional crashes. The cure is to create more oxytocin in the body through nurturing intimacy. This is a must read for anyone who is seriously looking for a new paradigm of relationships.

I first heard about this book when Marnia gave a talk at a local bookstore and was immediately impressed. I read the book and have begun to make deep changes in my own life.