Too Close for Comfort: Exploring the Risks of Intimacy

Rating:
Summary: Approve Of Yourself
Review: As I experience something with others, which I recognize as a result of my having read such wonderful books, like this one, as something specific to teach the public, I am compelled to write these reviews.

Years ago, when I read this book, I learned, that people who make snide remarks, innuendoes, racist remarks, sexist remarks, or any other negative statement, are really frightened, insecure, and desperate to force their interlocutor to not notice what they are fighting, from within themeselves.

As I endlessly grow, I can't help from giggle on the inside, whenever I talk to, or visit with someone who has known me my entire life, who also fears any one of these: Exposure; Loss of Control: Lossing Autonomy; An Attack; Disappointment; Betrayal; Guilt; Rejection; or Abandonment.

I'm not giggling at that person. I'm thanking all the authors, including Dr. Piorkowski, and I am thanking myself, for having been my guide while I have faced everyone of my past demons, so that I am free to be fully in the present moment, making conscious choices of what I am, and I am not willing to allow in my life.

We all teach others how to treat us. It's very important that we look closely at ourselves, from the resesses of our soul, to love the parts of ourselves that don't feel loved.

Because we we face the impact of our past, upon our lives today, things become tremendously better.

For all those who are not getting what you want, in your interactions with others, here is a list of questions for you to consider:

1. How many topics do you discuss, and how central are they to
you?

2. What is the strongest longing that you have had, in intimacy?

3. What were some of your defense strategies, as a child, in
response to people getting close to what mattered most to
you? Are these strategies now hurting you?

4. How has your fear of exposure, and fear of losing control
made you feel both ashamed of yourself, and self-doubting?

5. Do you expect others to disappoint and betray you? Are you
ready for a "see! There you go again?"

6. Why are you so insecure about the love you do get?

7. Why is conflict so difficult for you to deal with?

8. When you talk to your interlocutor, in person, are you fully
in the moment, looking one another in the eyes, naturally?

9. If your spouse/lover gave you what you claimed to really
want, what would that be; and who would you have to be, to
appreciate this?

10. Are you running away from yourself?

This wonderful book captures so many life situations, and relates so deeply with challenges that we have in our aspirations to be happy, loved, and safe.

Having read this book, and having written so many notes in the margins, I am free to look back on my life, and see that this book truly has brought me closer to people who I welcome in my life, people who foster my growth, who have no agenda for me.

Read this because you deserve to love, and be loved.

Rating:
Summary: Best self help book I've ever read
Review: Ms. Piorkowsky and co-author are truly geniuses. This book has to be read slowly in order to absorb the full effect, but the end result is a totally beautiful account of Intimacy, with all of it's warts, imperfections, and purity. I congratulate the author(s)for remaining true to task and offering a factual, reality based assessment of this most personal state. I am amazed at the genuine insight into the human psyche revealed in this book. The pages speak to everyone, everywhere, and in such a manner that nothing is lost. I suspect most of the information is stuff we already know, yet this book brings that information to the conscious mind, revealing our innermost thoughts and feelings. Absolutely superb!

Rating:
Summary: Best self help book I've ever read
Review: This book is thoroughly written for the analytically minded, yet clearly written for the average person.

Dr Piorkowski uses a step by step approach to explain, in clear english, the root causes of problems with intimacy and how they manifest themselves in everyday life. She describes how people react to relationship issues in their past and how their natural defense mechnisms cause them to react the way they do in relationships.

Most importantly she explains the effects that problems with intimacy have on people and the others in their lives. It continues to offer solutions and clearly explain the options people have to explore their intimacy issues.

This book can be read like a text book, but also for a quick introduction to the subject, the last three chapters can be read. They are excellant summaries of the cause of intimacy problems, solutions and the foundation for a healthy relationship.

The best self help book I've ever read

Rating:
Summary: Worth Every Penny
Review: You hit the search button and up comes the list.... yes, some books are cheaper, but what do you want to save money or your relationship(s)? I teach counseling and have read many books on relationships. As many readers know you can waste a lot of time and/or money on vague, pop-psych, poorly-written self-help books. This isn't one of them. Mrs. Piorkowski has written a readable, practical text that will prove a genuine help to many suffering from relationship/intimacy problems. Highly Recommended!