The Heart of Being Helpful: Empathy and the Creation of a Healing Presence

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Summary: Responding to others in a spirit of caring and empathy
Review: Dr Breggin dedicates his book to those who wish to respond to others in aspirit of caring and empathy. He is capturing something of the essenceunderlying all successful psychotherapy; something that almost eludesdescription. Clients who have benefited from it know when they havereceived it. Fellow professionals who have met psychotherapists who conveyit know they have been in its presence. But, what is "it"?

"To create healing presence, we fine-tune our inner experience to the innerstate of the other person. We transform ourselves in response to the basicneeds of the person we are trying to heal and help. Ultimately, we findwithin ourselves the psychological and spiritual resources required tonourish and empower the other human being" (p.5)

He describes the healing presence as a "way of being, rather than doing,that meets the psychological, social or spiritual needs of (the client)"(p.9)

This requires, first, that we find within ourselves that which is necessaryto create a healing presence. We need to pay attention to how peoplerespond to us, not just focus on what we have to offer them.

If your reaction to this so far is, as mine was on reading the initialchapter, "This is great stuff. I know it when I find it, but how do I doit?" Dr Breggin does not disappoint. The book goes on to describe, in thecontext of empathy and love, how to:

-accept and deal with our own inadequacies and vulnerabilities withouttrying to pretend that we don't have any.
-address the need to love and be loved.
-take care of, understand and transform ourselves that we may better carefor, understand and transform others.
-be spiritually uplifted through empathy, rather than being burdened oroverwhelmed.
-be open and responsive without being vulnerable to manipulation, hostilityor conflict.
-calmly respond to emotions, even in extreme cases.
-base family and couple therapy around the clients' concept of and basicneed for love.
-bridge cultural and racial barriers to help people different from us,through assumptions of common shared human experience.
-help a client come to terms with their childhood, including any abuse, andbring out anger and guilt in a way that leads to understanding andforgiveness.

Continuing throughout this book are themes from Dr Breggin's earlier booksand reform work. He has been described as the conscience of psychiatry,speaking out against bio-psychiatry's use of drugs, electric-shocktreatment and involuntary institutionalisation. He gives practicalempathetic alternatives to helping children "diagnosed" with "deficiencies"or "disorders" without putting them at the mercy of drug regimes.

There is a humility in Dr Breggin's writing that is rare. We discover thereason for this in his chapter on gratitude. Being able to help others is agift - whether it is one that is innate or one that we have learned - andwe can only be grateful for such a gift. When a client can sense that weare grateful for having the opportunity to help them, it breaks downfurther the barrier created by our "professional" aura, leaving room forour empathetic, healing presence.

Is love enough? No, of course not. Therapists need training, information,skills and wisdom. But without empathy and love to underscore our otherprofessional resources there will be no healing or spiritual growth.

In academic terms, Dr Breggin is following in the school of thoughtdeveloped by Carl Rogers and Eric Fromm. Whether you sympathise with thisapproach, are eclectic in your approach, or use another approach entirely,you will still get a great deal from this book because it captures so muchof the soul of psychotherapy. Build other skills and techniques on thisbase and they will be much more likely succeed. Therapists of however manyyears' practise could get a lot from this book. Students of psychotherapyand counselling should add it to their list of essential reading

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Summary: Life-Changing! Surprisingly Christian viewpoint!
Review: Peter Breggin is one of my favorite authors, since discovering "Talking Back to Prozac" in the public library years ago. I've read four of his books and just finished "The Heart of Being Helpful". I'm a middle-aged woman, wife and mother, a committed Christian, and this book has helped me relate to the people in my life like no other book I've ever read, except the Bible itself. I'm amazed that a divorced and remarried Jewish psychiatrist has so much more insight into the essence of Christianity than 99% of Christian pastors and psychologists.

The principles Dr. Breggin describes are so easy to grasp, I began using them immediately. Within hours, my husband and I were closer than we'd been in 15 years. We're changing how we communicate with one another, our children, and our friends. Already I see incredible progress. I feel like we have reached an entirely new level of growth here. This book has saved us hundreds of dollars in professional counseling, and probably done us a lot more good, too.

I'm ordering copies to hand out to every mother I know, along with "Reclaiming Our Children". Dr. Breggin is saying things that are so very needed in our fractured and increasingly violent society... and nobody else is saying them.

"The Heart of Being Helpful" is perfect for spouses inconflict, parents, pastors, teachers, missionaries, anyone in thehelping professions, or people who just want better tools for tappinginto God's love and becoming more loving human beings.