The Heart of Grief: Death and the Search for Lasting Love

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Summary: Finding new places in our hearts
Review: "When people die, they're gone. There's nothing to do but get over it and go on." This widespread myth of our culture is false. We can remember. We can celebrate joys. We can sense for what sharing life has taught us. We can take inspiration from the power of the deceased's spirit. We can be grateful for the dimensions of our souls that have been enlivened by times together. And not only can we do these things. We shall be the better for honoring the myriad of ways in which the deceased has enriched our lives. That's what I get from Attig's book. Only he makes all this very real for his reader with wonderful stories that give vitality and substance to these ideas. I think anyone who grieves the loss of someone treasured will gain solace and insight from this wonderful book.

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Summary: Paradigm Shift
Review: Dr. Attig's book is an important part of a paradigm shift in our thinking about grief. He has thrown open a door to new thinking about how we can continue to be in relationship to loved ones who are no longer alive. This book is eloguently written with the ring of truth from the lives of real people. An excellent addition to our knowlege and understanding of grief.

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Summary: The Heart of Grief : Death and the Search for Lasting Love
Review: Dr. Thomas Attig's book, "The Heart of Grief: Death and the Search for Lasting Love," is an exceptional follow-up to his first book about grieving, "How We Grieve: Relearning the World." Each chapter of "Heart of Grief" begins with a real life situation involving the death of a person and the consequences of that death on those who are still living. His premise is that people who have passed away can still be an important and essential part of one's life. You don't have to get on with your life without them; you can get on with your life with them. Although there is an element of `advice' giving in "Heart of Grief," the book is much more story-telling. It's like a good novel-you can read it for the dramatization of some essential human truths. I recommend it highly.

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Summary: The Heart of Grief
Review: On September 11, 2001, many sons and daughters, mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters died. I lost my own son 10 years ago and since that time I have wondered what can really be of help to parents, or other grievers in learning to live with such loss. Now, more than ever, life seems so fragile in this world and the need for understanding grief as important as ever. It is so hard when grief is so great. Our fears of our own mortality spring to the front stage of our emotins nakedly exposed to others. I recently found Tom Attig's The Heart of Grief and it met me right where I was. Using his personal experiences of grieving people, Attig describes a process of learning to love in a new way. He recounts the stories of people's losses and provides a myriad of ways that grievers have found to continue loving the ones they have lost.
Of course, we do not stop loving or forget our loved one. Death does not end our relationshipwith the deceased, but it is different. They are forever gone from this life. Attig suggests that sometimes people fear that when they accept the loss it means they have stopped loving the deceased person. Many people, who are unable to let themselves feel the full impact of their loss, find themselves stuck in wishing for the past and the return of a loved one. Consequently, there can be no real acceptance of the loss. Attig emphaasizes the need to BE SAD because what has happened IS SO SAD. Feeling intense sadness scares many people, so Attig encourages us to find someone to accompany us on this journey, a spouse, a friend, or a professional.
Most importantly, Attig writes that if we do not fully accept and greive our loss, we may have difficulty ever loving again. It is only through acceptance of our losses that we can continue to love those who have died in a new way and to love those who are still with us and love us. The use of real peoples' stories of loss are inspirational and give hope. Attig provides numerous examples and possiblities of ways to learn to love anew. Whether you are grieving a loss yourself or know someone who is, this book is very readable, relateable, informative and comforting. We all will be grievers some day. I highly recommend this book. I has a permenant place of importance on my bookshelf.

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Summary: highly recommended for the bereaved or those wanting to help
Review: This book throws new light on the topic of healing from loss and approaches the perils of grief from a new direction that reframes the process. Attig helps us to see that grief is related to learning to continue to love the person who has died without the advantage of having their body present. This is strikingly different from the traditional views of healing from grief through revisiting the past. It frees many of us to find ways of grieving that are considerably different from the traditional "talking and crying" approach. This book shows us how to love the person who has died through embracing their legacies in ways that harmonize with our being and interests and thus unlocks us from the burden of grieving in the "right way." Through this process we develop a new relationship with the person who died and in many instances through our grief we learn to carry the person forward in a profoundly healing manner.

Importantly, Attig links grief with love. In a clinical and detached world we too often forget that this is a most difficult aspect of dealing with loss. If we miss this, we are missing the major thrust of grief. Attig says, "We can give places in our hearts to those who have died. As we do, we experience lasting love. We continue to love them. We sense that they still love us." It is this continuation of love that rightfully permeates this book.

I highly recommend it.

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Summary: Tom Attig's book about Grief
Review: This is such an important book that it is required reading in my Introduction to Death and Dying course. It has valuable information, yet it is verty readable. It is presented as a very human book.

Rating:
Summary: Tom Attig's book about Grief
Review: This is such an important book that it is required reading in my Introduction to Death and Dying course. It has valuable information, yet it is verty readable. It is presented as a very human book.

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Summary: Caring Doesn't End with Death
Review: Tom Attig has written a gentle, tender and very readable book with a strong message verifying what every bereaved person knows. Connections to the deceased don't end with death. There is no such thing as closure or putting the past behind us advice often given to the bereaved that leaves with feeling as if something is wrong with them, rather than with the advice. Attig, through the stories he tells describes the fullness of human relationships and how we carry those we love with us even after their death.This is a must book not only for the bereaved but for those who want to help them.