Past Perfect! Present Tense: Insights from One Woman's Journey As the Wife of a Widower

Rating:
Summary: Insightful and Informative!
Review: As a mid 40s single mom, I always stayed clear of widowers. The mere thought of trying to 'compete with a memory' simply scared me away. In spite of my resolve, I knew I wanted to conquer my fear when I met a beautiful man who had been widowed after over twenty years of marriage. As I cautiously stepped into my new relationship, I found myself searching high and low for resources that might help me to better understand the dynamics of dating a widower. Even as a professional in the human services field, I found that there was scant information on dating or marrying a widower. Therefore, I was most delighted to come across Ms Andersen's book, Past Perfect! Present Tense. I found this book to be a sensitive and well-written guide to understanding and navigating the many sensitive areas that are inherent in a relationship with a widower. Ms Andersen's book helped me to realize that I could love and cherish my beloved and at the same time honor all the good that his late wife brought to the person he is today. I am most grateful for the insights that I have found in Past Perfect! Present Tense. I highly recommend this book for anyone who is currently in a relationship with a widower, or who is contemplating one. I know that my relationship with my cherished widower has been strengthened and deepened because of the wisdom I have gleaned from reading Past Perfect! Present Tense: Insights from One Woman's Journey As the Wife of a Widower!

Rating:
Summary: Relationship Saver!
Review: At 46 years old and single for 12 years, I thought I had about "been there and done that" as far as relationships with men went. Well, God had another lesson in store for me . . . I fell in love with a widower! Julie Donner Andersen's book was my daily pocket guide during the first few months of our relationship -- I used it to better understand my own feelings as well as support the man I was falling in love with as he worked through his own feelings. Thank you, Julie for a wonderfully insightful book and a great monthly newsletter!

Rating:
Summary: Do you need heat from your fireplace and can't find a tree?
Review: Do you need heat from your fireplace and can't find a tree? If so, then buy this book. That would be it's best use and you'd be rewarding the book and the author!

Boy! Oh, boy! Julie Andersen's books are old fashioned and not well written. I wish I hadn't bought the second book. She seems lost in her own little world writing about fantasy situations and emotions. I can't believe she is a WOW or a writer. Steer clear of this one ladies and gents! There are better ones out there for us!

Rating:
Summary: Offensive!
Review: I am a young widow and I was deeply offended by this book. One suggestion written was to "accidentally" break the Christmas decorations belonging to the deceased wife, so that the widower could no longer use them. I am so glad that I borrowed this book from the library instead of putting money into this "author's" pocket. She's no author. All she did was combine stories written by other widow/ers that were posted on online chat groups. Did you receive permission for all those excerpts Ms. Andersen? This women has also been sending emails asking everyone to write a favorable review for her book, especially since her feedback on eBay has turned sour. Can you say "trolling for feedback"? This book is nonsense and Ms. Andersen simply doesn't have a clue about understanding widows or widowers.

Rating:
Summary: I am dating a widower and have recommended this book!
Review: I came across this book when I was searching for information on dating a widower. This book provides tremendous insight and understanding to the grief process and how to positively develop a strong relationship with a widower, his children and extended family. Unless you have directly dated/married a widower it is an experience that can not be "apples to apples" with any other relationship. The anecdotes Julie pulls together allow you to realize "it isn't just you", the push/pull process is normal and patience, love and humor are what will see you through. In addition to providing help in dealing with difficult situations in a loving and positive way, Julie also addresses the "frustrations" you will face in a honest way. I would highly recommnend this book to anyone who is dating/married to a widower- In fact I have passed it to a friend!

Rating:
Summary: A fantasy
Review: I read this book hoping for some tidbits of wisdom and/or thought provoking advice. I am a WOW and I know all too well what that title actually entails. I found this book to be a flight into fantasy and poorly written. It did not accurately depict (or address) the real issues that arise in the world of WOW-dom.

Rating:
Summary: Past Perfect! Present Tense: Insights from One Women's Journ
Review: I searched extensively for information on this subject of a relationship with a widower. When I began a relationship with a widower 18 mo. ago., I realized I would need information and support. Julie's book has been instrumental in the success of
this relationship...there has been such joy for both us in the
aftermath of great grief and sadness. Her monthly newsletters are insightful, thoughtful, and brings to light delicate areas that we might not have the tools to address. She covers a broad spectrum of situations and real life family issues and feelings.
All relationships require work to be successful...She provides real life experiences and feelings that will help the reader feel that there is a life-line available. This
book is a must-read for any one who is wanting the most healthy, balanced, loving relationship with a man, and especially a man who has lost a wife/significant other in death. I think to be
in a relationship with a widower takes a high level of personal self-esteem and self-love...Julie can help you reach those levels
so your relationship will be most rewarding...A must read and
a true gift to yourself to read her story.

SS
Austin, TX
11/18/04


Rating:
Summary: True Wit and Charm
Review: Julie Donner Andersen has written an insightful and witty guide to surviving life in the shadow of past perfection. In a subject that could easily become maudlin she has taken a lighter, more practical approach. Anyone who has experienced what it is like to be 'the next wife' knows what it is like to have to defend your existance on a daily basis, and prove to the 'family' or 'friends' that you are worthy of loving this person you have chosen, and has chosen you.

Julie knows, and it shows.

This is a great book for anyone who is experiencing a new relationship in the shadow of a former perfect love.


Highly recommended, by someone who has actually been there, is there, and plans to stay there.



Rating:
Summary: Kudos to Julie Donner Andersen!
Review: Julie Donner Andersen is to be commended for her courage in addressing such a difficult subject. As a former widow, I must say how difficult it is to navigate a grief journey when one does not have a road map, rules for the road, or a place to rest one's head when one is weary. Ms. Andersen's words are full of wisdom, compassion, empathy, and understanding which provide the perfect travel guide for the journey. Thanks, Julie!

Rating:
Summary: Read this book GOW's and WOW's
Review: Julie-Donner Andersen writes for those of us trying to make a life with a widower. The title says it all! The past is always perfect and the present is pretty tense, if you ask me...
Julie is insightful, forgiving and kind. All these qualities and more are needed to survive the grief issues, co-parenting and friendship reconfigurations as a WOW or GOW.
Thanks for the help, Julie!