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Rating: 
Summary: Real title -- "Why NOT to Live Together"
Review: If you were expecting a cogent presentation of how to know if you are emotionally, psychologically or otherwise ready for a big commitment; tips on the merging your finances, protecting individual assets, how to talk to your kids, ways of introducing your new partner to extended family, the legal issues and ettiquette of dealing with health care providers and other service providers, etc, etc.... you'll get very little of that here, and only in the most cursory of terms. The agenda is clear from page one: living together, bad; only traditional marriage, good. Mostly this is a book with a completely heteronormative focus (don't even think same sex partnerships was even mentioned once). But, oh, gosh golley forget about that liberalism -- a good old fashioned 1950's marriage is the only sane choice for good girls and boys who aren't just sex crazed, psychologically lazy, emotionally manipulative moochers afraid of a real commitment. In case you think I overstate my case, I'll just cull a few things from some of the dozens upon dozens of true/false quizes, highly questionable (ancient!) statistical reports, and multiple choice questionnaires that fill up what seems like 80% of the pages: The book says -- True: "marriage requires more time than live-in love" -- "couples who cohabit are less committed to the institution of marriage" -- "serial live ins have a higher rate of divorce." Guys, when your gal brings up moving in together, you watch out now for these "Women Who Spell Trouble" -- they "lack the ability to be independent; are financially insecure; don't like being alone; have a variety of personal problems; lack maturity and personal growth; do not have enough self-esteem" There's a special risk group of women prone to "cohabitation," the book says. These unfortunates trust too much, aren't skeptical enough, lack tools to wisely evaluate relationships, and show signs of romantic desperation. But not to be (completely) sexist, the writer makes sure that guys get their share of vituperation: they are cautioned "Don't put two names on the mailbox when... you are in love or lust" -- wow! And here's me thinking love, at least, would be one reason to shack up!! And my favorite part, the "Cohabitor or Marriage Partner" check lists. "Male Cohabitors" place greater emphasis on leisure; have liberal view of sex; may still be in school; are serial live-ins. "Female cohabitors" place emphasis on career; are not seeking matrimony; have a family history of divorce. But those true blue "Male Marriage Partners" are settled financially, have completed their degree, and come from families where there is no divorce. And those good gals -- have less liberal views of sex; are connected to church and community; feel ready to begin a family; and have traditional values. I really wish this was listed as a gag book, or that I could admit to making this stuff up folks, but sadly in the 21st century we are still being fed this rubbish..... just call me nuts for not taking seriously a book that tells me to that if significant other is not a good way to introduce my partner, I could try "householdmate," "virtual spouse," or "sweetheart." The writer wasn't even trying to be fair to the realities of contemporary couples and the economic, social, and family dynamics in place for people trying to make one of the most important decisions in their lives. But it ain't all bad folks. If you insist on taking that wicked, wicked plunge anyway, here are some tips on how to do it right: -- don't leave the toilet seat up -- strike a match to eliminate odors -- make up after a fight, and -- rearrange the furniture together .... the sheer warmth and originality of these sentiments leave me speechless.
Rating:
Summary: Nothing new in this review...or this book
Review: What I have to say on buying this book is nothing that hasn't been said before...I just had to repeat it since my experience has been mostly negative. The book has been useful for making me look at things in a new perspective. But really it's a giant ode to marriage that bashes away at anyone who would decide to live together as somehow immature and unprepared for adult life. I'd hoped for practical points and tips, not an assault on my character. I feel dirty for buying this book.
Rating:
Summary: Nothing new in this review...or this book
Review: What I have to say on buying this book is nothing that hasn't been said before...I just had to repeat it since my experience has been mostly negative. The book has been useful for making me look at things in a new perspective. But really it's a giant ode to marriage that bashes away at anyone who would decide to live together as somehow immature and unprepared for adult life. I'd hoped for practical points and tips, not an assault on my character. I feel dirty for buying this book.
Rating: 
Summary: Know what you want to get out of the book....
Review: What you get out of this book will be dependent on what you are looking for. There are several different ways to read the book. Personally, I found some of the book to be of value to my situation and most of the book to be interesting but not necessarily applicable. So, the first and main question is: Why are you reading this book? If you are like me, you read this book to give you tips on how to help make a "moving in together" situation work out better. This book did provide tips and hints, and while they may seem obvious when you read them, it is good to be reminded. If you are unsure whether or not moving in together is a good thing, this book will give you things to look for in yourself and in your partner to decide if this is a good idea. The book is broken up into several sections. At the very start of the book, it feels like the author is simply giving us a history of cohabitating and how it affects/influences marriage. This moves into a discussion on reasons why people move in together and a reminder to think about why we want to move in. The author discusses (and gives examples of) relationships and situations where cohabitating works and when it failed. If you finally decide to move in together there are several chapters that I found very valuable. My girlfriend and I have already decided to move in together. We know that it is important to have clearly defined goals and expectations for the relationship and moving in together (this is pretty much the point of the book, to define and agree on what to expect from cohabitating). There is a chapter on etiquette for cohabitating, and while it is simple and the author lists small things, I think that the small points of etiquette will become very important over the long run in just keeping things sane and neat and agreeable for your partner. Finally, the book moves onto what happens when cohabitating fails and how to cleanly get out of the apartment/relationship...and then, oddly enough, the book has a small section on marriage (right after the breaking up section). As I said, there is value in this book, and if you have already decided to move in with your partner, there are several sections of the book that will be very useful in looking over, just to remind yourself that you have to do the small things to help make the relationship and living situation successful. First decide why you want to read this book and what you want to get out of it, and you may have a better experience in reading it. Other reviewers have mentioned that there is a bias against cohabitating (rather than marriage), and this is true. The author tries to back it up with statistics and data, but the bias remains. However (and this will be my last comment), one of the most successful couples that Rosen gives an example of was one that cohabitated with no interest in getting married...but they both had the same expectation for the relationship
Rating:
Summary: Know what you want to get out of the book....
Review: What you get out of this book will be dependent on what you are looking for. There are several different ways to read the book. Personally, I found some of the book to be of value to my situation and most of the book to be interesting but not necessarily applicable. So, the first and main question is: Why are you reading this book? If you are like me, you read this book to give you tips on how to help make a "moving in together" situation work out better. This book did provide tips and hints, and while they may seem obvious when you read them, it is good to be reminded. If you are unsure whether or not moving in together is a good thing, this book will give you things to look for in yourself and in your partner to decide if this is a good idea. The book is broken up into several sections. At the very start of the book, it feels like the author is simply giving us a history of cohabitating and how it affects/influences marriage. This moves into a discussion on reasons why people move in together and a reminder to think about why we want to move in. The author discusses (and gives examples of) relationships and situations where cohabitating works and when it failed. If you finally decide to move in together there are several chapters that I found very valuable. My girlfriend and I have already decided to move in together. We know that it is important to have clearly defined goals and expectations for the relationship and moving in together (this is pretty much the point of the book, to define and agree on what to expect from cohabitating). There is a chapter on etiquette for cohabitating, and while it is simple and the author lists small things, I think that the small points of etiquette will become very important over the long run in just keeping things sane and neat and agreeable for your partner. Finally, the book moves onto what happens when cohabitating fails and how to cleanly get out of the apartment/relationship...and then, oddly enough, the book has a small section on marriage (right after the breaking up section). As I said, there is value in this book, and if you have already decided to move in with your partner, there are several sections of the book that will be very useful in looking over, just to remind yourself that you have to do the small things to help make the relationship and living situation successful. First decide why you want to read this book and what you want to get out of it, and you may have a better experience in reading it. Other reviewers have mentioned that there is a bias against cohabitating (rather than marriage), and this is true. The author tries to back it up with statistics and data, but the bias remains. However (and this will be my last comment), one of the most successful couples that Rosen gives an example of was one that cohabitated with no interest in getting married...but they both had the same expectation for the relationship
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