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Rating: 
Summary: Why?
Review: Part of my job is to review and recommend books in the chronic illness category. I borrowed this from the library, with hope, for this subject is not much written on (as distinct from "caregiving" in general.) It is certainly a complete, and fully accepting, description of a desperate situation (from the author's own experience, and those of others that she interviewed.) Don't look to this book for instructions on how to give a bed bath, it is not that kind. Look to it for an honest approach, without the "plaster saint" image, to feelings and stressful emotions. (The opening words, spoken by the author to her understanding parents are, "I wish he would die.") HOWEVER - no matter how much this book is to be honored for its completeness and honesty, there is a warning: Not everyone will accept her solution to her husband's impotence: She took a lover, with her husband's tacit approval, "As long as I don't know about it." If you can't accept this kind of thing, give this book a miss.
Rating:
Summary: Deeply flawed
Review: The spouses of the chronically ill often suffer in little-known and terrible ways. Few resources are available to help them. This ought not be. But this book, despite its promising title, will not provided desperately needed help for those who attempt to minister to their chronically ill spouses. The reason is simple. The most important reality for handling chronic illness is ongoing love and commitment, despite the pain, frustration, and anger. In chapter three, Mrs. McGonigle condones adultery when the well partner has had enough and needs to have her or his sexual and emotional "needs" met by another man or woman. She even admits to committing adultery herself-during a one-year "affair"-and justifies this in self-deceptive ways. Her husband supposedly tacitly allowed for it. She even claims that this betrayal ended up strengthening her relationship to him. That is utter garbage. The wedding vows do not allow for that serve-serving and sinful path of destruction. Yes, living with the chronically ill is hell. One often does not know how cope. Nevertheless, the path of virtue demands faithfulness. Would Mrs. McGonigle have allowed for her husband to commit adultery if she had been the one with a chronic illness? If so, the debauchery only intensifies. For a more faithful response to chronic illness, read Beyond Chaos by Greg Phiburn.
Rating: 
Summary: A must have for the well spouse
Review: This book is wonderful. It helped me so much to know that the feelings that I have are completely normal to the well spouse of a chronically ill patient. From the anger and resentment to the wonderful feelings of love it is all explained here for us.
Rating:
Summary: Why?
Review: This book starts out with great ideas and empathy for the "well" spouse, giving them a sense of support and understanding. Yet, it suggest the well spouse have an affair to curb their sexual needs. I find this deplorable! I am chronically ill and the thought of my husband having sex with another woman makes me sick. I don't care that the author claims her ill husband sort of consented to it. He said he did not want to know about it if she did. Obviously, it was not really okay with him. What happened to "for better or worse" or "in sickness and in health?" Marriage is about a commitment, not about selfish urges. Besides, there are many other ways to be fulfilled sexually within marraige, other than intercourse, if this is not possible for the couple. Illness and impotence are not an excuse or justifiable reason for an affair.
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