The Psychology of Twinship

Rating:
Summary: OBSERVE but NOT COMPARE your multiples - SAME vs. DIFFERENT
Review: I am a mother of 2 singletons (a boy and a girl) as well as twin boys - I have a background in Special Education and Early Childhood Dev. I run a day care now from my home and care for multiples as well as raising my own. I have multiples in the Sunday School class I teach as well as have been a board member and officer of our local twins club for 10 years. I found this book very enlightening and confirming that even as twins (multiples) our children are individuals and MUST be treated as such. That we must NOT have expectations of them any differently than we would have our singleton children. It helped me confirm my thoughts that they are NOT ONE but separate persons in ALL ways and must be allowed to develop as a single child would. That we must allow them to define their relationship w/ one another as well as the world around them in their own way with our guidance. That how we (extended family, friends, neighbors, society, schools, etc.) treat them DOES affect them individually as well as in their TWINSHIP for their entire lives. It gave me the knowledge and confidence to help my children navigate into and through their world at THEIR rate and not allow others to tell me (or them) what was best for them when they did not know my children, their twinship relationship and what was needed to allow them to be successful in it. It helped confirm for me that our multiples will not necessarily develop at the same rate (although they may) and we would be incorrect in assuming, or expecting that they will - just as all children they will walk and talk, potty train, and separate from their parents when and only when THEY are ready - they may or may not do so at the same times and that how WE treat them as individuals as well as twins (multiples) WILL affect this developmental rate. I found this book VERY HELPFUL in my new roll in parenting to confirm and show through it's many examples and case studies that our multiples MUST be allowed to define their own places in each others lives and the world around them. That COMPARING them to one another or anyone else IS (can be) detrimental to their healthy development - that we MUST allow them to be whatever or whomever they choose weather or not they are choosing the same or differently from one another. This book shows a vast number of examples from birth to adulthood, at different stages of development in varied environments of how multiples (twins)interact w/ one another and their world. How they develop similarly as well as differently. My twins - now 10 - as well as my older children have read parts of this book and too find it enlightening and confirming for them. There is 10 years difference between my youngest singleton and my twins - the book came in very handy through the teen years w/ my older children as well as for my husband and myself to help us all understand the TWINSHIP relationship or our sons - their younger siblings and how we could be a part of it but that we must too understand that there ARE parts of that TWINSHIP that we will never be a part of and should not expect to be - nor be offended that WE are NOT invited in. EXCELLENT BOOK - well researched and written.

Rating:
Summary: Too concentrated on psychological pathology
Review: I bought this book in my effort to understand more about the behavior of my twins. I am a psychologist and now that I am a mother, I realize how different it must be to raise a single baby compared to raising two at the same time, of the same age. I was hoping to learn about the importance of closeness between mother-child, child-child, father-child, etc. I was curious to learn about how does the inevitable fact that you have to share your time with two babies at the same time, influences their psychology. Instead, I found a lot of theory on this book. It talks about pathology, too concentrated on the anomalies and not even mentioning the benefits of being a twin (which is a pretty long list). I was very disappointed.