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Rating: 
Summary: Superb book!
Review: A book on how one can deal with death, for all kinds of people
Rating:
Summary: A Guidebook to the Process of Dying
Review: My sister just died of cancer and spent her last 2 months in hospice care. This book served as my guidebook through the process, taught me how to let my sister go with peace and love and left me in a better state of mind afterwards. It seemed that each time I picked it up, I was at the exact chapter I needed at the time. The chapter where she writes from the viewpoint of the dying person is worth the cost of the book alone! It gave me so much insight into what my sister must be going through and helped to frame all of the rest of my time with her. Longaker's Tibetan Buddhist writing can be heavy going, but she makes her concepts applicable to many different faiths and uses many examples from these faiths throughout the book. The chapter on bereavement is also excellent, offering practical suggestsions based on her own experience (interesting that she uses that term, based on its genesis from the word "bereft," instead of "mourning"). For anyone who has to deal with someone who has faced a long-term disease which erodes the body, her touching poem "You Can Grow Less Beautiful" is so meaningful. In addition to helping readers to deal with the practical aspects of dealing with a loved one's death, she also focuses on how each of us can prepare every day for our own deaths (through meditation and letting go); it will probably take another reading for me to be able to focus on this area, but I look forward to doing so.
Rating: 
Summary: An excellent vision of life's final transition
Review: This book both inspired me and annoyed me. Some of its contents brought tears to my eyes, partly due to realising that my input into a dear friend's final year was more valuable than I had believed at the time.
The best thing about this book is Christine Longaker's ability to tell her own and others' stories about the highs and lows of the journey toward death. It is very honest about the pitfalls of having unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others when faced with mortality. The book is a useful guide for people of any cultural or religious background, despite the author's Buddhist beliefs.
The aspect of the book that frustrated me was the too-frequent repetition of some of the concepts set out in the book. This may be a reflection of the author's Buddhist background, as repetition is often used in Buddhist teachings to reinforce important points. This is only a minor gripe, as I too have Buddhist beliefs and have bought the book anyway, after having read a library copy.
Overall this is a compassionate and realistic overview of a spiritual approach to death and dying that is well worth the outlay. May we all have the determination to live well so that we can create the conditions to die well, which is so important both for us and for those who love us!
Rating:
Summary: Superb book!
Review: Twenty years ago, Longaker lost her husband to an incurable disease at the age of 25. In the ensuing years she has become internationally known for her pioneering work in the hospice movement. Though she writes from a Buddhist perspective, the advice offered can be adapted to any spiritual tradition. Facing Death and Finding Hope is an excellent guide for hospice volunteers and professionals, yet is well suited for anyone who has questions about how to deal with a dying loved one -- or even how to face one's own death.
Rating:
Summary: Perhaps the most genuinely helpful book around...
Review: Who are the people suffering the most? The dying. And you and I will die. Our loved ones will die. And as Christine so brillantly points out, we still have a connection after our loved one's death. My cousin Pat is a virtual saint. She works with people who are dying. She is both a research scientist and a nurse. She has learned to put up with what we pour out when we are dying. Remember a time when you lost something that you very much wanted? The anger? Well, imagine the atomic bomb of rage that goes off when someone is apparently losing everything? I know! The body just drops off and the soul lives on. But the delusion of dying IS the same as death. Do you see what I mean? Unless we obtain a very advanced degree of spiritual understanding, you and I will feel that we are dying. We could also define death as the dropping off of the body. But since we so incredibly identify with our bodies, to us, when the body is dying - we are dying. So let's take an agnostic's viewpoint on death. I think that is fair. As an agnostic, we can ask, "Is there life after death?" And the answer for an agnostic must be "I don't know". If you have read or studied "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" by Sogyal Rinpoch (Longaker's teacher) you will have covered your bases, so to speak. And that and this book will help you with the dying, the dead, and the people who have died a long time ago. So it's a very pragmatic thing to do. Study what we know about death before it springs on us. Let us cover the book briefly. PART 1: THE EXPERIENCE OF LIVING AND DYING This is a basic run-down about death. Don't worry. It's easy reading and gives us our first glmpse of what is essential. First, a good life (that leaves out me!) Secondly, that the thought at death is very important. PART 2: THE FOUR TASKS OF LIVING AND DYING This is the main part of the book. This is the deep existentential part of the book. As ET said, "Be Good." But it's better for ET to have said, "Be good, especially when you are dying." Longaker gives you a tour through the process (see "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" which goes through this more extensively). PART 3: Advice for Caregivers, Parents, and Survivors This part is especially good for the person who has just had a loved one pass away. EPILOGUE Just that. Now someone may have a loved one who just died or who is dying. The question may arise, "What can I do?" Order this book and the one I referred to just recently. But I'll give you something now until your books arrive. Be natural. Be you. Don't playact. You might even tell the person (calmly) that you're pissed off because they are dying! Isn't that what you would want me to do? Just don't start yelling. Okay? After the person has left their body, pray for them. For most of us, the Bible is the best. Longaker might disagree with me. Whatever they were brought up with. Torah, Koran, whatever. If they are a firm athiest, read them Bertrand Russel. No. Still do the Bible because they will see some action soon. THE HEARING GOES THE LAST. So don't be an idiot and start blabbing how gooey they look. I do know that the most important thing is for them to pray after they get out of the body. Be a chum. But not because the are DYING. But imagine your friend going down a deep dark tunnel alone? Read the books. Or at least this one. It's not really not my cup of tea. BUY THE BOOK. I like whiskey and women. Good Luck.
Rating:
Summary: Perhaps the most genuinely helpful book around...
Review: Who are the people suffering the most? The dying. And you and I will die. Our loved ones will die. And as Christine so brillantly points out, we still have a connection after our loved one's death. My cousin Pat is a virtual saint. She works with people who are dying. She is both a research scientist and a nurse. She has learned to put up with what we pour out when we are dying. Remember a time when you lost something that you very much wanted? The anger? Well, imagine the atomic bomb of rage that goes off when someone is apparently losing everything? I know! The body just drops off and the soul lives on. But the delusion of dying IS the same as death. Do you see what I mean? Unless we obtain a very advanced degree of spiritual understanding, you and I will feel that we are dying. We could also define death as the dropping off of the body. But since we so incredibly identify with our bodies, to us, when the body is dying - we are dying. So let's take an agnostic's viewpoint on death. I think that is fair. As an agnostic, we can ask, "Is there life after death?" And the answer for an agnostic must be "I don't know". If you have read or studied "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" by Sogyal Rinpoch (Longaker's teacher) you will have covered your bases, so to speak. And that and this book will help you with the dying, the dead, and the people who have died a long time ago. So it's a very pragmatic thing to do. Study what we know about death before it springs on us. Let us cover the book briefly. PART 1: THE EXPERIENCE OF LIVING AND DYING This is a basic run-down about death. Don't worry. It's easy reading and gives us our first glmpse of what is essential. First, a good life (that leaves out me!) Secondly, that the thought at death is very important. PART 2: THE FOUR TASKS OF LIVING AND DYING This is the main part of the book. This is the deep existentential part of the book. As ET said, "Be Good." But it's better for ET to have said, "Be good, especially when you are dying." Longaker gives you a tour through the process (see "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" which goes through this more extensively). PART 3: Advice for Caregivers, Parents, and Survivors This part is especially good for the person who has just had a loved one pass away. EPILOGUE Just that. Now someone may have a loved one who just died or who is dying. The question may arise, "What can I do?" Order this book and the one I referred to just recently. But I'll give you something now until your books arrive. Be natural. Be you. Don't playact. You might even tell the person (calmly) that you're pissed off because they are dying! Isn't that what you would want me to do? Just don't start yelling. Okay? After the person has left their body, pray for them. For most of us, the Bible is the best. Longaker might disagree with me. Whatever they were brought up with. Torah, Koran, whatever. If they are a firm athiest, read them Bertrand Russel. No. Still do the Bible because they will see some action soon. THE HEARING GOES THE LAST. So don't be an idiot and start blabbing how gooey they look. I do know that the most important thing is for them to pray after they get out of the body. Be a chum. But not because the are DYING. But imagine your friend going down a deep dark tunnel alone? Read the books. Or at least this one. It's not really not my cup of tea. BUY THE BOOK. I like whiskey and women. Good Luck.
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