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Rating: 
Summary: It all makes sense now.
Review: I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and was involved in a relationship with someone that had NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)but wasn't aware when I was IN the relationship. This book helped me not only understand why he and I continued the "dance" of what seemed like never ending turmoil, but also why we were attracted to one another to begin with. Many things from our childhood determines who we choose as romantic partners. If you or someone you know is BPD and involved with an NPD, this book is a MUST read! Excellent!
Rating:
Summary: Adult Survivors of Parents with Personality Disorders
Review: I strongly recommend this book for anyone seeking to find help with mood disorders, any type of addiction, identity issues, self-esteem issues, reoccurring unresolved anger and troubling relationship issues. Excellent compliments to this book are: The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders by Joseph Santoro and Ronald Cohen; The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert Pressman; Emotional Blackmail: When People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier; Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss and James Masterson; Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson; Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man by Scott Wetzler; Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin and Lidija Rangelovska (Editor); Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents by Nina Brown; Treating Attachment Disorders: From Theory to Therapy by Karl Heinz Brisch and Kenneth Kronenberg; Toxic Coworkers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job by Alan Cavaiola and Neil Lavender; Bully in Sight: How to Predict, Resist, Challenge and Combat Workplace Bullies by Tim Field. And if you want to pursue the subject even further, you may be interested in reading Addicted to Unhappiness: Free yourself from the moods and behaviors that undermine relationships, work and the life you want by Martha Heineman Pieper and William Pieper; Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility by Jim Fay and Foster Cline.
Rating:
Summary: The Danse Macabre
Review: It takes two to tango - and to sustain a long-term abusive relationship. The abuser and the abused form a bond, a dynamic, and a dependence. Expressions such as "follies a deux" and the "Stockholm Syndrome (Trauma Bonding)" capture facets - two of a myriad - of this danse macabre. It often ends fatally. It is always an excruciatingly painful affair. Lachkar's grossly overlooked book is the best introduction I know of to abusive dyads comprised of two people with personality disorders. Replete with case studies and an impressive theoretical background (mainly, but not only, Object Relations Theories) - the book is a vade mecum for both professionals and sufferers. There is more to an abusive dyad than mere pecuniary convenience. The abuser - stealthily but unfailingly - exploits the vulnerabilities in the psychological makeup of his victim. The abused party may have low self-esteem, a fluctuating sense of self-worth, primitive defence mechanisms, phobias, mental health problems, a disability, a history of failure, or a tendency to blame herself, or to feel inadequate (autoplastic neurosis). She may have come from an abusive family or environment - which conditioned her to expect abuse as inevitable and "normal". In extreme and rare cases - the victim is a masochist, possessed of an urge to seek ill-treatment and pain. Sam Vaknin, author of "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited".
Rating:
Summary: The Danse Macabre
Review: It takes two to tango - and to sustain a long-term abusive relationship. The abuser and the abused form a bond, a dynamic, and a dependence. Expressions such as "follies a deux" and the "Stockholm Syndrome (Trauma Bonding)" capture facets - two of a myriad - of this danse macabre. It often ends fatally. It is always an excruciatingly painful affair. Lachkar's grossly overlooked book is the best introduction I know of to abusive dyads comprised of two people with personality disorders. Replete with case studies and an impressive theoretical background (mainly, but not only, Object Relations Theories) - the book is a vade mecum for both professionals and sufferers. There is more to an abusive dyad than mere pecuniary convenience. The abuser - stealthily but unfailingly - exploits the vulnerabilities in the psychological makeup of his victim. The abused party may have low self-esteem, a fluctuating sense of self-worth, primitive defence mechanisms, phobias, mental health problems, a disability, a history of failure, or a tendency to blame herself, or to feel inadequate (autoplastic neurosis). She may have come from an abusive family or environment - which conditioned her to expect abuse as inevitable and "normal". In extreme and rare cases - the victim is a masochist, possessed of an urge to seek ill-treatment and pain. Sam Vaknin, author of "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited".
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