The ART OF WAR FOR LOVERS

Rating:
Summary: Willing to do the work
Review: Although I didn't care for the second half of the book (written by Gail Parent), I must say that the first half was worth the cover price. If you are still up to navigating the murky waters of relationships, then you need this book...It will give you valuable tips on how to do so effectively and wisely. However, do disregard all information on how to "understand" a man; in my opinion, self-actualized adults -- male or female -- speak plain English and have overcome, for the most part, negative gender-specific psychology.

Rating:
Summary: This is a great book
Review: I have read this book over and over. I agree with other reviewers that the first half is better than the second half. However, that first half is really worth the read. As I write this, the book is out of stock so try and find a used copy. Do not be put off by the title that deals with war. As Dr Cowan states in the book, if you were doing anything else, say at work, you would be careful to research your subject and know as much about it as possible. Do not approach love half blind, knowing only your own side of how things work. Dr Cowan gives many valuable insights that you need to know if you are a woman trying to find a man, or trying to attract that one elusive man that you can't quite seem to win over. I have read many books on this subject, and there are many useful texts and perspectives, but this one really makes you realize some things about yourself, about men and about the male/female relationship. In particular he talks about women needing the security of a relationship to feel safe having sex, and men needing sex, to feel safe enough to enter a relationship. At one point you find yourself thinking it is amazing that any relationship ever gets off the ground when you realize the different ways men and women approach the whole thing. But you read on, and you read it over, and somehow it all starts to fall into place. This book gave me the knowledge and the courage to persevere with the one man who I was truly interested in and some tools to put to use in pursuit of him and I am so grateful that I did not give up. This book has really helped me.

Rating:
Summary: Willing to do the work
Review: I like this book. I agree with the others who say that the first part is worth the price of the book and the contribution by Gail Parent could have been left out.

I am using this book to reinforce what I do well and raise my skills in other areas. I have used the little exercises (fill in the blanks, etc.) to learn more about myself. I have used the affirmations when I felt down and I am starting to see that they work! I used to worry that I would not meet someone with whom I could have a "healthy" relationship. Lately, I worry less about that and I expend more energy in becoming healthier myself. What that boils down to is accepting the truths; some painful but some reassuring. For example, feeling needy. I never really wanted to admit that I felt needy at times, but now I realize what an advantage I have if I can simply observe it and decide how to handle myself. I have read the book through my tears once or twice. I have actually chosen to "be my own best friend" when that was the right thing to do. I'm feeling pretty optimistic these days. My current relationship is going well and if it folds, I'll be that much better for the next one. This book covers every area of relationships and I find it to be a solid handbook (owner's manual, if you will) for all this relationship stuff.

Rating:
Summary: This is a great book
Review: This is a well written and intelligent view of the battle of the sexes. Insightful and realistic in the acceptance of imperfection in us all. I particularly identified with waiting it out and not giving up until you are sure you can take no more.

The suggestions offered in order to smooth the path of tantrum, which of course, follows Tantra, or as they call it, HEAVY GROUND, was well placed and more realistic than those who suggest getting out if he looks at you sideways. I suggest this is folllowed with, GETTING TO I DO, which gives a balance to the ideas written here. The titles of both these books detract from their content quite a bit. The parallel with ancient wisdom of the warrior was a bit thin.

Of necessary reading for me, was once again the section called heavy ground. As LOVE and being IN LOVE, was, is, a new forum to me, I had begun to believe I may be heading for the basket in the near future. So I was relieved to read:

Passion rules - sexual attraction overwhelms the both of you. If the sex is dizzying, then you want to live with this kind of vertigo forever.

Since exclusivity keeps the relationship intimate and on heavy ground, be aware, clear your head, and try to confront serious issues. You'll have a very hard time doing this because heavy ground is the only time a woman's mind and body separate. You want and need to be touched and are not thinking. You crave to be held and are becoming addicted to his body.

The measure of emotion is more intense with this man. Separation makes you scared. You worry when he is out of your sight and fear he may not return. Daily separation feels like abandonment. There is a dependancy that you feel. This is the time you should retain your independence, but it's hard for many women to do because they lack the confidence in themselves.

The one critism I have on this segment is the suggestion that only if you are in a heavy sexual relationship can you feel this. That is not so. In fact, the truth is, you can feel this way more intensely if your relationship has yet to be consumated and you have been deeply in love for a long period of time, say two years! A soul connection is this way from the onset, however, it moves slower and more thoughtfully toward sexual gratification. The intention being, mind, body and spirit. Deferred gratification or, deprivation, intensifies the desire for both male and female alike.

Nevertheless, wise words, well constructed and worth the money.

Rating:
Summary: The Art of War for Lovers
Review: This is a well written and intelligent view of the battle of the sexes. Insightful and realistic in the acceptance of imperfection in us all. I particularly identified with waiting it out and not giving up until you are sure you can take no more.

The suggestions offered in order to smooth the path of tantrum, which of course, follows Tantra, or as they call it, HEAVY GROUND, was well placed and more realistic than those who suggest getting out if he looks at you sideways. I suggest this is folllowed with, GETTING TO I DO, which gives a balance to the ideas written here. The titles of both these books detract from their content quite a bit. The parallel with ancient wisdom of the warrior was a bit thin.

Of necessary reading for me, was once again the section called heavy ground. As LOVE and being IN LOVE, was, is, a new forum to me, I had begun to believe I may be heading for the basket in the near future. So I was relieved to read:

Passion rules - sexual attraction overwhelms the both of you. If the sex is dizzying, then you want to live with this kind of vertigo forever.

Since exclusivity keeps the relationship intimate and on heavy ground, be aware, clear your head, and try to confront serious issues. You'll have a very hard time doing this because heavy ground is the only time a woman's mind and body separate. You want and need to be touched and are not thinking. You crave to be held and are becoming addicted to his body.

The measure of emotion is more intense with this man. Separation makes you scared. You worry when he is out of your sight and fear he may not return. Daily separation feels like abandonment. There is a dependancy that you feel. This is the time you should retain your independence, but it's hard for many women to do because they lack the confidence in themselves.

The one critism I have on this segment is the suggestion that only if you are in a heavy sexual relationship can you feel this. That is not so. In fact, the truth is, you can feel this way more intensely if your relationship has yet to be consumated and you have been deeply in love for a long period of time, say two years! A soul connection is this way from the onset, however, it moves slower and more thoughtfully toward sexual gratification. The intention being, mind, body and spirit. Deferred gratification or, deprivation, intensifies the desire for both male and female alike.

Nevertheless, wise words, well constructed and worth the money.