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Rating: 
Summary: Book jacket reviewer's comments:
Review: "This book will save many thousands of marriages and will prevent many people from marrying an unsuitable partner. For couples and experts alike, all you ever need to know about preparation for marriage." Amitai Etzioni, author of The New Golden Rule: Community and Morality in a Democratic Society."This is the best premarital counseling guide I have seen in more than three decades. Skillfully constructed...it should not be 'on your shelf' but in your hands if you are a mental health professional or clergy member providing such assistance." William C. Nichols, Editor, Contemporary Family Therapy.
Rating:
Summary: A Comprehensive Guide
Review: Every clergyperson and secular counselor who does premarital or remarital counseling should have this book. Stahmann and Hiebert have penned an incredibly comprehensive, yet accessible guide for both clergy and secular audiences. The book begins with foundational issues such as reasons why people marry and beliefs couples tend to hold. The goals of premarital and remarital counseling are also discussed. Their brief introduction to the history of premarital counseling was interesting, though not especially helpful. Throughout the book, the authors summarize relevant findings from a large number of researchers. This handbook covers all of the practical issues as well, from fees and number of sessions to the actual content of each session. Special emphasis is given to the couple's history together, exploring each family of origin and previous marriages (if any), and the use of premarital inventories. Among inventories, Stahmann and Hiebert review PREPARE, FOCCUS, and the Taylor-Johnson Temperament Analysis. PREPARE is used as the example for most of the book. Several subjects are covered under "special topics." These include remarriage and stepparenting, specific marital skills, intimacy and sexuality, age-related factors, and problematic situations. The authors also consider the use of group counseling, although most of the book is written for someone counseling one couple at a time. As a ministry student who realized that my formal seminary training would leave me unprepared for doing premarital counseling, I am grateful to have Stahmann & Hiebert's Premarital and Remarital Counseling. I recommend it along with Charles Taylor's Premarital Guidance and Anderson & Fite's Becoming Married to anyone in a similar situation.
Rating:
Summary: A Comprehensive Guide
Review: Every clergyperson and secular counselor who does premarital or remarital counseling should have this book. Stahmann and Hiebert have penned an incredibly comprehensive, yet accessible guide for both clergy and secular audiences. The book begins with foundational issues such as reasons why people marry and beliefs couples tend to hold. The goals of premarital and remarital counseling are also discussed. Their brief introduction to the history of premarital counseling was interesting, though not especially helpful. Throughout the book, the authors summarize relevant findings from a large number of researchers. This handbook covers all of the practical issues as well, from fees and number of sessions to the actual content of each session. Special emphasis is given to the couple's history together, exploring each family of origin and previous marriages (if any), and the use of premarital inventories. Among inventories, Stahmann and Hiebert review PREPARE, FOCCUS, and the Taylor-Johnson Temperament Analysis. PREPARE is used as the example for most of the book. Several subjects are covered under "special topics." These include remarriage and stepparenting, specific marital skills, intimacy and sexuality, age-related factors, and problematic situations. The authors also consider the use of group counseling, although most of the book is written for someone counseling one couple at a time. As a ministry student who realized that my formal seminary training would leave me unprepared for doing premarital counseling, I am grateful to have Stahmann & Hiebert's Premarital and Remarital Counseling. I recommend it along with Charles Taylor's Premarital Guidance and Anderson & Fite's Becoming Married to anyone in a similar situation.
Rating: 
Summary: useful, readable - and lacking 4 essential points
Review: I have specialized in providing professional education and therapy to divorced, courting, and re/wedded couples since 1981. I am (a) 66, (b) a stepgrandson, stepson, and ex-stepfather and stepbrother, (c) an invited Board member of the Stepfamily Association of America, (d) a contributing editor to 'Your Stepfamily Online,' and (e) the author of six personal-growth and family-relations books.
I recommend this book to readers who want a well-organized overiew of the complex premarital and re/marital counseling process. I caution readers that the authors omit several essential points which cripples the utility of their book:
1) why and how to assess and reduce co-parents' psychological wounds from childhood (vs. divorce). The authors lay the groundwork for this, but don't guide readers on how to follow through;
2) the origin and impacts of blocked grief in adults and kids, and how to spot and reduce it. There is no entry for "grief" in the book's index;
3) co-parent unawareness of five key topics: (a) normal personality formation, composition, and function; (b) keys to high-nurturance families and relationships, (c) effective communication skills, (d) healthy 3-level grief, and (e) stepfamily realities, norms, implications, and hazards. And...
4) little effective re/marital and co-parenting help (i.e. courtship coaching, classes, informed counseling, co-parent support groups) available in most communities and the media.
In my clinical experience since 1981, these factors will often block the best-intentioned adults from following relevant re/marital and co-parenting advice. Counseling couples who are courting and re/married - specially any with existing kids - without including these factors in assessment and interventions can only be partially effective.
For more perspective on this review, see:
http://sfhelp.org/11/choose_bks.htm
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