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All Men Are Jerks: Until Proven Otherwise : A Woman's Guide to Understanding Men

All Men Are Jerks: Until Proven Otherwise : A Woman's Guide to Understanding Men

List Price: $6.95
Your Price: $6.26
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 3 stars
Summary: How to live with jerks and still love them for it!
Review: All Men Are Jerks (until proven otherwise) is an amusing book; makes you laugh, remember some part of your life and feel tuned with personal experiences of Dayle Deanna Schwartz and/or her workshop guests. But still, she uncovers very complex situations and relationships into her almost propagandistic way of 'let's make it simple, this is the way it really is!'. Feel the writer has helped to understand why men or women become jerks in some situation of their life. The books is written in an easy, straight forward language which could be read in two days. Isn't that strange? I mean each individual has problems that take years, an entire lifetime to resolve or merely live with them and Dayle Schwartz turns them into a question of 'jerks', her or him, someone has the blame and unfortunately I see that most men in her interviews have no resentment for the things they did. I did read 'The Rules' and the first five chapters of John Gray's 'Men Are From Mars....' and either three books underestimate women, her needs and her self respect or at least the way she thinks she'd be happier (independently if her views are wrong or right). Is it a question of marketing maybe because more women purchase self help book? Or is it contributing for a world were women are so much more (incorrectly?) emotional than men? In the end the books turns into an excuse of why men act like jerks and why we should understand them. This book can help many men and women in or out of relationships but I'm yet to see one book who treats the problems of the individual, independently if they are woman or men. Dayle Deanna Schwartz does a facial cleaning but doesn't look deeply enough with the necessary humble attitude of why her characters were led to think the way they think. In the end it all comes down to how to stand the opposite sex without causing each other too many problems. Perhaps most of the jerks she interviews should indeed respect or clearly inform their women what their intentions are and the same could occur with women she often affirms as needy. Therefore Dayle Schwartz does not inspire more communication and respect from either. Sincerely I'm tiered of the guessing 'literature' about what reactions might or not mean. The writer often states that everyone needs love, but maybe the question is to love a little more and these 'attitude' problems become trivial. It's got nothing to do with the 'bad guy' and 'the nice' guy (if that has ever existed but funded in the marketable attitude of Hollywood since the 1930's) but being faithful or true enough to the other person and let them know what's it all about. "Jerks..." is a very good book, but we are not a troop of men and women but individuals with names, a past, lots of pain and usually a problem in someone's life. But that's perhaps the true magic of being each one different. "All Men Are Jerks..." is a very amusing book, worthwhile reading and it might help men and women to understand each other's reactions and find forgiveness in the past or relationships everyone tried at some point make it possible. But no matter how many 'Rules' you'll follow, you might encounter the same problems over and over because that desired date just doesn't feel a bit of love or respect for you, and this writer gives many evidence to self love but falls short in inspiring ways to give it. "When I meet a man who I want to spend time or even my life with, I'll be ready. Now my life is defined" (page 304). Good luck, keep waiting for Murphy.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Works as well for men as women
Review: Calm yourselves, guys! The title of this book is unfortunate;Ms Schwartz does not hate men. I am a guy, I have read the book and Ifound it quite sensible. Perhaps a better title would have been:"Everybody is a Jerk* *Until Proven Otherwise." It's just that Ms Schwartz doesn't date women so she titled it from a female perspective.

The book is mostly a commonsense approach to entering a relationship. She stresses caution, skepticism and personal responsibility. What's so terrible about that? She warns people that, in the early stages of a relationship, everyone is on their best behavior while still under the influence of incipient...possiblities. People tend to get carried away with their declarations of Deep Feelings. And, let's be honest here, guys, we *do* tend to be a tad, um, indiscriminate in the face of prospective sex. She just suggesting that it is more prudent to judge a person by their actions than by their words.

Here's something to definitely stand up and cheer about: Ms Schwartz' book is the antithesis of "The Rules". There is no game playing here. She neither devises elaborate charades nor condones ridiculous posturing to "catch" a man. She gives straightforward advice on how to be happy with your own life. The frequent consequence of that is that you tend to be a more attractive person. Again, what's so terrible? Women who are content with themselves (as a consequence of having their own life) reduce pressure on any future partners to pick up the slack for their inadequacies. Rejoice, guys, this is liberating!

I realize that I, as a male, wasn't the intended audience for this book, but I must say I found plenty of mental fodder for (open-minded) men, as well. Give it a read! Self-improvement on any level is your gain.END

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Finally, a relationship book that is realistic!
Review: Daylle's book is gold to those of us who make the mistake of idealizing any man who says and does the right thing. She offers no "tricks" or "games" but instead provides empowering advice and true-to-life insight that gives a woman more power in her relationships. Since I've read this book, I've changed my whole approach to dating, and as a result I'm not dating losers anymore. I'm taking the time to find a good man -- spending the alone time in between dates being WONDERFUL to myself and filling my life with my friends and other interests -- and as a relationship develops, I'm much, much smarter in what to look for and listen for. Daylle's advice is priceless, the first true useful relationship book I've read....and I've read them all! I'm recommending it to everyone I know, even women in relationships and marriages -- as they too need to navigate the waters of male/female communication.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Great Book! A must!
Review: I am astounded at the number of books about "men gone wrong" and so forth. It seems everytime I turn my head, there's another one of those "Men are Jerks" books on the shelves.

I suggest reading this book, along with the others I've reviewed, because the more you know, the more informed you will be! And the more informed you are, the less a man can manipulate you; of course, unless you enjoy manipulation, and we know some sickos like that sort of stuff. (If so, then you deserve what you get I guess.)

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Helped a lot
Review: I just got out of a serious relationship that I knew was not going anywhere. I honestly wish I had read this book before. It is so true and informative. Even though the guy was a good guy, there are very obvious warning signs that are pointed out in this book. I am not done with it yet, but I plan on spending the day reading it tomorrow. I already feel like I have learned a lot and want to learn more! I found this book while looking for other self discovery journaling books. I decided to read the first chapter and I havent put it down since! Absolutely a must!

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Deja vu
Review: Just picked up this book last night after a night out with the girls. Ended a jerk type relationship two days before. God, I see so much of myself and my friends in this book. It's illluminating and no, it's not male bashing. It's actually showing me the symptoms, causes, and how I can choose to react. I'm in the middle of the book but will probably finish it tonight. There are some insights here. Probably things we already know but haven't wanted to acknowledge. Hope I can apply what I've learned.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: The best book on man-woman relationships ever
Review: Please, forgive my English (I'm French).

This book is BRILLIANT.

Recently, I happened to watch a TV show called "Politically Incorrect" on ABC. The subject was man-woman relationships. It was pityful seing those people arguing about problems that this book deals with. Every single subject they talked about had a clear and smart answer in this book. And I was wondering "HOW COME THEY DO NOT SEEM TO HAVE HEARD ABOUT THIS BOOK, God damn it !!!!" This book is a BREAKTHROUGH in understanding modern man-woman relationships. I've also read Dr.John Gray's "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", and this one is far better ! It is much more complete, covering all areas of relationships, more practical, and above all, it shows a clever and lucid insight of the subject. The explanations in this book are not as FREAKY as they are used to in this kind of litterature and discovering that we are manipulated by Hollywood and Dirty Dancing is not very glorious, but I think that people are ready to hear Schwartz's message, and I think it's time for them to know.

As Victor Hugo said one day, "An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come."

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: THE USUAL.... MEN BASHING
Review: sadly enough this book completely ignores what it is about CERTAIN men that makes them behave improperly towards women... but what it does is it automatically makes it sound like ALL men are jerks to begin with and turns women into raging lunatic feminists who go around bashing men trying to turn them into pathetic droopy submissive slaves... we've all heard how women get a man into a relationship then totally domesticate him... this is what this book does... im not saying men can't be jerks, but what i am saying is don't assume they are before you get to know them... dont assume they are just because you read from some therapist who had some bad life experiences... dont look past what help these men and women may need professionally... the other thing this book totally ignores is how women themselves are part of the relationship and so if they get duped or charmed they shouldn't automatically blame the man all the time.... anyways, obviously this book is meant to bash males and thats precisely what it does

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Faulty premise & Bad advice
Review: This book is pretty typical of its genre- a genre I wish would go away. As a nice guy and a psychologist, I have long had a hard time with psuedo-psychological books like these. Both men and women come from Earth, and most of our differences are based on the socialization we receive as children (there are biological differences, too).

I would love to see a guy get away with writing a book entitled "All Women are B_tches, Until Proven Otherwise." I wonder how women would react to that. They would (justifiably) call the author a sexist. It is really time we held these male-bashing books to the same standards of other books in the self-help/pop-psychology genre. In fact, it is indicative of a society that really does not respect women that books with these kinds of titles can get published.

Allowing women to be sexist means that we, as a society, are holding women to a lower standard than men, and that is the most anti-women sexist thing our society can do.

About "Jerk-Proofing" yourself. It is my opinion (as a happily married '00's kind of guy) that there are SO many nice guys out there if women ever bothered to look past superficials such as pectoral muscles and bank accounts. I find it hypocritical that women who eschew the chess club to date the football players (pardon the high-school metaphor) can then bemoan the fact that "all" men are jerks. The sad fact is that too many women choose the wrong types of men. But when women choose to date men based on such traits as assertiveness, aggressiveness and physicality and not on personality, intellect, or sensitivity, aren't problems with men inevitable?

My advice to women- Avoid dating men who are jerks. When a man is a jerk to you, leave. And then learn from your mistake and reassess why you became interested in that jerk in the first place. This will help you avoid jerks in the future. (This one free paragraph makes more sense than this entire book.)

About the principle of "changing" your jerk into a non-jerk: There is only one person who can change a person- that person her/himself. No matter how much you think love and attention can change the personality of an adult; it can't. The only way jerks will change is when they realize that being a jerk deprives them of female company.

The world would be much better off without insensitive male jerks. Unfortunately, this book exacerbates the problem by (a) perpetuating the stereotype that all men are indeed jerks, and (b) advising women to stick with their jerks and try to change them, instead of moving on to greener pastures.


Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Great Book! A must!
Review: This book, "All Men Are Jerks..." is a very informative work. I bought it after getting out of a relationship with a total jerk. I then had a bad attitude about all men and was afraid to go out with guys again. After I read this book though, it changed my whole perspective on men and dating in general. I no longer waste time waiting by the phone for guys to call or waste time with guys when I know it is not going anywhere. Now...I am in control of my life and relationships. I recommend this book to all women out there as it will save you A LOT of time and energy on men.


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