The Centerfold Syndrome: How Men Can Overcome Objectification and Achieve Intimacy with Women (Jossey Bass Social and Behavioral Science Series)

Rating:
Summary: The Other Side of the Story
Review: A study of why men are so attracted by looks. Brooks reviews the nature/nurture theories of standards of female beauty and, unlike other writers in this field, such as Wolf, Etcoff and the evo-psychologists, he goes on to offer solutions to the male side of the problem. The latter half of the book describes his group therapy for the "Centerfold Syndrome." I think myself that the answer lies in women changing their sources of self-esteem rather than in men changing their tastes, but this is important work and an important book.

Rating:
Summary: The Other Side of the Story
Review: Finally a man who can see the dangers and manipulation of pornography. I am glad that the other side of the story is being told as porn seems to be filtering into all aspects of our lives. Men are conditioned to look at women as sex objects from an early age. I do not see how anyone can argue that this does not have an impact on their views (especially in relation to women). Men are taught to look at numerous women - one is never enough - women who are naked and ready for them. Plus with airbrushing and computerization the pictures are not close to reality furthur adding fuel to the fire by reducing womeans self esteem to the very core - by judging us solely on how we look naked. Another area of concern is the number of women willing to deform and distort there bodies (usually with excessively large implants) and how this is glamourized in our society. Pornography is damaging to all members of society not just women as the book explains. Its time women and men were educated on the dangers of pornography. A great first step is to read this book.

Rating:
Summary: The book helped me, it has some notable drawbacks
Review: I found this book both helpful, yet at times it made assertions (generalizations of certain people) that were unsubstantiated.

His development of what he defines as the "centerfld syndrome" was very enlightening for me. I liked the detailed group therapy sessions (he changed subjects names) where he clearly carried the burden of proof (in my eyes) for what comprises the centerfld syndrome - objectification, trophyism, etc. My wife and I read this portion and it helped me to uncover and debunk my own flawed thinking.

His narrow characterizations (on page 74) of anyone who is believes in scripture - that "Such people will have no use for this book" - he clearly shows his lack of judgment and a distinct bias against anyone with a faith in scripture. Not everyone who believes scripture fits his cookie-cutter fallacy of thinking. His ignorant statements to such people can quickly turn off a large population of people who (really need help and) could actually find help through his book if he would simply keep his unfounded opinions of religious people to himself.

I still found his very book helpful. It helped me to see women (and particularly my wife) in a different light and to see a little deeper into the root system of this problem.

There are portions of his book that helped me to see the flaws in my patterns of thinking. This has helped me find some freedom and has helped my relationship with my wife to a degree.

I really wish he had spent more time at the end developing the topics that were supposed to help a person find freedom in the last chapter "Overcoming the centerfld syndrome". I wish he would have spent more time on pesonal change rather than changing culture. The areas for personal change were very under-developed. I was eager to find more information on that. It was really disappointing. I read this book to help me to change and to enhance my marriage. I have more power over changing my own life and marriage (with God's grace) than I do an ENTIRE society.

He could have moved much or all of the descriptive content of cultural change to the middle of the book describing and supporting the tenants of the centerfld syndrome.

The best part of the book is where he develops the tenants of the centerfld syndrome. He develops this area masterfully.

I will still keep this book on my shelf, I just know what parts were helpful and which ones were half-baked.

Rating:
Summary: GOOD BOOK! But men still have to do the work!
Review: This is a very worth while book. I've got 6 other books on the matter and this one by far gives men the most credit and options for improving their sexual outlook. I am a women who recently found out that her boyfriend had been hiding a cyberporn addiction even though he promised no more porn once we moved in together. He is 37 years old and picked this porn habit up from his father. He has gotten past much of his upbringing (the good ol'south) to see most women in a positive light--at least professionally. Big problem though that he compartmentalizes porn mentally as something that has no effect on our sexuality as a couple. I believe that he was enculturated to see women as objects for his pleasure and the book's author makes strong cases for this. Part of the problem is the Madonna/Whore thing and that the women in porn don't really seem like they are human at all to these guys--just parts to fixate on. Porn persuades men to seek self-indulgent fantasy and to shun intimacy with real women. This has really hurt our relationship because he's so fixated on himself/his body, that it becomes difficult for him to reach out to me even though we used to have a fantastic rewarding relationship just this time last year. I have read the book and feel better--I only hope that he will read it and do the work in the last chapter. We are in therapy now--but this sort of thing has all types of defenses wrapped around it and is fortified by denial and shame. Anyway--get this book, it is worth it. Just wish there was a workbook to go along with it. That would really help.

Rating:
Summary: I wish everyone knew this stuff
Review: This is such an important 'whistleblowing book' that shines a light on so many assumtions in our world about males views of women. Women know it through being labelled and treated unhappily as objects. But now importantly this book shows how the suffering is there for men too.
This blows assumptions that 'men are just like that' or that it flows from a biological imprint that men are helpless too.
This should form a fundamental ingredient in 'male liberation' so that men can see how they compromise their own chance of intimacy by their training. This them gives an opportunity for REAL person to person relating rather than 'man pursuing fantasy'.
The only reason I didn't give it a '5' was that I would have liked more detailsed 'what to do about it' suggestions. There are some suggestions there but a lot relies on referring men to men's groups.
Don't let this deter you from reading the full implications and extent of this pattern as it's an important wake-up call.
However as a relationship specialist who deals with men who have come to me for struggles with relating to women due to this very problem (e.g. losing sexual attraction for otherwise terrific partners who werent physically perfect in some way), I for one would really have liked some clear direction for helping men deal with this.