Rating: Summary: TIme-tested...for how long? Review: About 15 years worth, maybe? That's about how long one of the authors, Ellen Fein, stayed married to her husband. Now ehe's divorcing him and yet she's co-author of this book. Hmmm...makes one wonder just how "time-tested" these secrets are...and by whom....and how well they work on certain marriages. Call me a cynic if you want but I do think a book lacks credibility if one of the authors is no longer in a long-term (and lasting) marriage herself. And yes, I read the books. And yes, I hated it - even BEFORE I heard of the divorce. Let's just say I'm not surprised. The rules? Hogwash!
Rating: Summary: A More Positive Approach Review: After skeptically reading the Rules 1, and trying them out just for fun, I found that they worked like a charm for me. They were so effective that I was dating and married to my dear husband within a little over a year. After three happy years together, I decided to "brush up" on the rules just to add a little something to our marriage, which is when I found this version of The Rules. Now we are celebrating our fourth anniversary together--quite happily, I might add--and I think the rules they suggest really helped us. I think most of the rules are good and helpful (even if you don't personally agree with them--they really do work!), but I think some of their advice is counter-productive to their own philosophy (e.g., looking at porn together). If you are a woman who can be open-minded enough to try an "old fashioned" approach, it's all for your benefit! After one day of trying the rules, my husband was offering himself to make dinner, clean-up, babysit for our daughter, give me a foot massage, and have AMAZING SEX with me!! What they suggest works for us. I definitely DON'T feel oppressed. I feel empowered, loved, and appreciated unconditionally. It works like the Golden Rule that way. When you are sweet and loving toward your dear husband, he (unless he's a sociopath or a narcissist) will feel loved and appreciated and want to return the love to you. I am speaking from personal experience. But you decide for yourself. How's your way working for you?
Rating: Summary: Oh, come on... Review: From one point of view, guys should be foisting this on every woman in sight. Except that the women in our worlds would then be so much less interesting and fun to be with. Along with being irritating this book left me feeling insulted. If men are so easily manipulable then how could you ever respect a guy who falls for the Rules in the first place? Try these instead:Rule #1: You don't need a man to make you happy. Rule #2: If you've got this far, you haven't finished learning Rule #1. Go back and start again. There must be better ways to build respect for yourself and the guys around you. A waste of time and money. And no mention that the authors have both divorced since writing this.
Rating: Summary: Rules Made My Marriage (and Divorce) Happier! Review: I am a tried and true Rules Wife! My husband and I were married six months ago and we just love The Rules. We've followed just about every one of them. I've definitely 'lowered my expectations' in our first year of marriage (#5). And we are a team, so I always force myself to go wherever he wants and always consult him on everything from career and health issues to the hemline of my dress (#6). I let my husband win every argument (unless it's very important to me, which it never is because my feelings don't matter as much as his) (#9). I've accepted that his health, his work, and the lipstick stains on his collar are none of my business (#10). I always do things I don't want to do, like watch pornography and attending old fraternity reunions (#23). We also have sex whenever he wants too! (#29) I've kept up my appearance (#3), but I haven't changed or tried TOO hard! (#38). Unfortunately, after all my hard work, and even though it's 'easier to stay married than get married' (#36), my husband and I have had some problems so we will be 'divorcing with dignity' (#41). After all, I 'don't think marriage counseling is the answer' (#39). But, the good news is, I'll be jumping back out into the dating pool right away (#42), right after I dust off my copy of 'The Rules for Dating' that helped me snag my stud in the first place! PS - This book is the worst! I am HAPPILY married for six months and neither of us follow any of these rules because we believe that being open, loving each other and COMMUNICATING are the keys a successful marriage not lies and deceit (as Ellen Fein found out when she filed for divorce).
Rating: Summary: buyer beware Review: I don't own this book but just by looking at the table of contents this book is no good. I didn't even need to go beyond the table of contents to know this book is a fraud. Look especially at Rules #9,13,23,25,26,31,32,33,36, and rule 39 is the kicker "Don't think Marriage Counseling is the Answer". This book is so backwards, it's suggesting that women should be people pleasing with no mind of their own. I happen to own The Rules book, I bought it for a while, but when I tried to do the Rules it made things frustrating. You want someone who will love you for the real you, not because you know how to play the game.
Rating: Summary: I Love the Rules Review: I HAVE TO SAY.....I LOVE THE RULES. I KNOW THAT EVERYONE ELSE DOESN'T LIKE TO ADMIT IT...BUT I WILL FOR MYSELF AND FOR MY FRIENDS. I AM MARRIED AND ALWAYS LIKED THE RULES BUT THIS MARRIAGE BOOK HAS ABSOLUTELY BLOWN ME AWAY. I HAVE A WONDERFUL HUSBAND...BUT SOMETIMES HE CAN BE DIFFICULT. NOW I HAVE LEARNED THAT IF I LET HIM WIN, ACT AS IF WE ARE A TEAM, SAY WHAT I MEAN BUT NOT SAY IT MEANLY....I FEEL AS IF THIS BOOK GIVES ME SUPPORT FOR WHAT I SHOULD DO AND DON'T ALWAYS WANT TO DO. I HAVE TRIED IT THIS WHOLE WEEK AND HAVE ALREADY HAD UNBELIABLE RESULTS. THIS BOOK MAKES ME FEEL GREAT. MY FRIEND RECOMMENDED IT TO ME AND I THANK HER , AND ELLEN AND SHERRIE. AND ELLEN, YOU GO GIRL..... I HOPE YOU GET BACK WITH YOUR HUBBY!
Rating: Summary: Useful for modern, self-centered women Review: It depends somewhat, for who this book is helpful. There are many strong, somewhat reckless momen out there today, who think they can 'have it all'. These sex-in-the-city like women often blame men for their failures. For those women the rules are helpful to see the relationships more in balance. But they probably will hate the book the most too. To women with an already pleasing attitude, it might do more harm, because it doesn't help much to boost their self-esteem.
Rating: Summary: WORST Review: Maybe these rules were the way back in the day of Father Knows Best, but times have changed since then-- there's been this concept known as womens lib! Seriously, I opened the book and scanned down the shortened versions of the rules and just laughed out loud-- even showed the hubby, who decided he 'liked this book!' because everything in it is about giving him his way and bending to him and caving to him. I read the whole book, just because I spent the money-- but I could not relate or agree to hardly any of it. What about marriage being an equal partnership? And what about both of you being responsible for making the relationship work? This book tries to tell you it's okay to be the ultimate doormat. Hated this book!
Rating: Summary: How your wife is supposed to keep you happy Review: This book is a guide to help keep marriages together. It gives rules for the wife on how to keep her husband happy. Now there are those who say it is not the wife's business to keep her husband happy. Why should he be happy after all? But for those women who do care about pleasing their husbands it seems to me some of these rules might help. Most of them are really ' common sense' . Among them are" Relax During the Engagement and Wedding,Continue to be a Creature Unlike any other, Keep up your Looks- But don't go Crazy- Keep up your own Interests- Lower your expectations in the first year( I suspect this is a big one) Be A team, Give him fifteen minutes alone when he comes home, Be supportive, Accept some things are none of your business, Try not to call him too much at work, Rarely return his gifts, Don't expect a lot of sympathy from your husband, Say what you mean , but don't say it Meanly. There are about twenty more such rules all I think to keep together a marriage which just does not sound that great.
I wonder if the authors'husbands think of writing a parallel work about how to please their wives.
In this regard I will go one rule. 'Discover the subjects about which your spouse not only cannot stand to be contradicted, but which they very much need your support and backing in regard to. And whether you consider them objectively absolutely right, back them up wholly' You are the one person in the world they most need to be for them.
Also keep em laughing as much as it is possible.
Rating: Summary: Give them a break! Review: True, one of these two ladies is not the "happily married" she once made herself out to be. But in the book it is even admitted that some marriages are not meant to work and there are chapters included on divorcing with dignity. Which Ms. Schneider is obviously not being allowed to do because people insist on making her private life public. This is an ADVICE book - you can follow it or not - and a pretty helpful one at that. I am a tried and true rules girl, and have been eagerly awaiting the release of this book. It is exactly what it says it is - a book of rules you can follow or not follow. And look what happens if you don't follow them! Ms. Schneider admits lapsing on some of the rules led to her divorce!
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