The Seven Deadly Needs

Rating:
Summary: The 7 Deadly Needs
Review: My appreciation of Edward Bear's latest book began the minute I picked it up and read the title. THE 7 DEADLY NEEDS with needs listed as the Need to Know, Be Right, Get Even, Look Good, Judge, Keep Score and Control.

It was something about reading those words and thinking of them in the context of being "deadly" that rang very loud alarm bells in my head.

The 7 mentioned "needs" were really okay, weren't they--not even harmful, much less deadly--all part of life--right? Right! How could there be anything "deadly about them? Yet here I was, stuck with this gut level response, this recognition that in some subconscious space dragons were stirring and I had better find out why. I opened the book and began the journey, expecting very heavy going.

What a joy (and relief) to find I had stepped not into the dragon's den, but into "Steady Eddy's" house next door (or down the block...a place in everyone's neighborhood) to meet with Eddy and that magnificent aging paragon of madness, wisdom and gentle humor know simply as Tyler.

For the next 7 chapters I was privileged to follow along as Ed and Tyler drummed, pounded, danced and laughed their way through a very weighty but terribly human set of needs which, when carried to their most obsessive, are extremely deadly.

In the course of this journey I began to become aware of how many of these needs are not, as I had always believed, just normal desires in my life but actual, can't live without, needs.

This kind of awareness, we all hope, leads to the ability to make changes in our lives. A few weeks ago I was arguing with a friend over some minor news of the day. The argument got quite heated until I had a flash of insight. I realized that the person I was arguing with was not even tracking my brilliant logic. He was pursuing his point because he needed to Be Right. And on the heels of that--what do you know--the sure knowledge that I was just as obsessed as he in my need to Be Right! I stopped the argument there with, "Well, you may have a good point" (not total surrender...yet). We left it, still friends, with none of the animosity those encounters usually leave.

The above is an example of the subtle power of this book. Once you have read it, healthier ways of dealing with your life start to sneak in. Suppose we could all stop having to know everything, to always be right, to get even at any cost, to do whatever it takes to look good, to be judgemental in all our dealings, to keep score of each deed and misdeed and to be control of every force in our lives.

Who knows, aside from making this world a lot saner and more loving, we might even find we can relax and enjoy it for a change.

In one chapter Tyler talks about the 2 Greatest Spiritual Practices being Gratitude and Forgiveness. For THE 7 DEADLY NEEDS I wish to express my gratitude to Edward Bear for its creation. And I wish to thank him for helping all of us to understand that the road to Forgiveness begins with self forgiveness. Well done, Mr. Bear.

Rating:
Summary: tippiecanoe and tyler too
Review: this book was everything i hoped for and more. after reading the first book by the author some time ago, i was very happy to see he had written something of a sequel to the dark night of recovery.

tyler picks up right where he left off in the dark night. once again offering up platitudes and plain old common sense, he guides another traveller past a slippery spot in the road.

As a trudger on this happy road, i found this book to be interesting as well as insightful and fun as well as full of life affirming observations.

Rating:
Summary: A wonderful gift
Review: This is truly a wonderful book.

How many times in my life have I wondered 'How did I get into this mess?' As Edward and Tyler ramble through their discussion of each of the seven deadly needs it became clearer and clearer how I had set myself up. How often had I tried to control everything or to know everything only to have it end up with more chaos in my life.

The style of the book is simple, easy to read...but the content teaches some powerful lessons on how to be happy in this life.

Thank you Edward Bear....You have given us a wonderful gift.

Dee Brown

Rating:
Summary: A wonderful gift
Review: This is truly a wonderful book.

How many times in my life have I wondered 'How did I get into this mess?' As Edward and Tyler ramble through their discussion of each of the seven deadly needs it became clearer and clearer how I had set myself up. How often had I tried to control everything or to know everything only to have it end up with more chaos in my life.

The style of the book is simple, easy to read...but the content teaches some powerful lessons on how to be happy in this life.

Thank you Edward Bear....You have given us a wonderful gift.

Dee Brown