Nobody's Child Anymore: Grieving, Caring and Comforting When Parents Die

Rating:
Summary: Excellent Grieving Tool
Review: I wish I would have had this book before my father passed away on Feb. 1, 2002. Everyone is bound to identify with one or more stories in this book. It is comforting and not condescending at all. I plan on giving the book as gifts to the people I care about, who have not yet lost a parent.

Rating:
Summary: It helped me reach a crossroads in my grief.
Review: It is a "must read" for people who have lost a parent. I read this book in about an hour and a half. I could not put it down. It tuned in to a lot of how I was feeling after I lost my mother. After I read it, I realized some of the reasons I felt so lost. I knew I felt lost, I just couldn't explain it. The only thing I didn't like about it was it didn't spend much time addressing only children. I am an only child and most of the book spoke to people with siblings.

Rating:
Summary: A must for any adult who's lost a parent
Review: It is a "must read" for people who have lost a parent. I read this book in about an hour and a half. I could not put it down. It tuned in to a lot of how I was feeling after I lost my mother. After I read it, I realized some of the reasons I felt so lost. I knew I felt lost, I just couldn't explain it. The only thing I didn't like about it was it didn't spend much time addressing only children. I am an only child and most of the book spoke to people with siblings.

Rating:
Summary: Permission to grieve as I have needed to
Review: My 88 year old dad died January 8, 2003. Although I was unable to look at his picture for a couple of months, I thought I was "handling it" just fine. Besides, although my mother was also suffering from dementia, she was obviously aware that Daddy was gone and I needed to concentrate on her. Then on May 7, 2003, Mama died - and I began to grieve. It was almost like losing them both the same day. I guess as long as my mother was still here, I still felt a connection to my dad as well. I never expected to hurt so badly. They were 88, in extremely poor health and had not been like the parents I had known for quite some time. But now they are gone.Even knowing this was coming and being 50 years old myself, I was still devastated. After I had finished everything with the memorial service and everyone had gone home, I began to realize how very bereft I was. I felt foolish having so much grief - after all, they were old and sick, better off now, etc., all of the usual platitudes. I have a strong religious faith and have no questions as to where they are now. I did not want them to continue suffering. And yet, I missed my mom and dad. I first read "The Orphaned Adult," which was extremely helpful and which I recommend. But I still seemed to be sadder than I thought I should be for a person losing parents later in life. I could no longer sleep through the night, if I got to sleep at all. I had thought about ordering this book for a while, but felt I was being too self indulgent. Finally I gave in and I am so thankful I did. Ms. Bartocci hit me "right where I lived." She put words to my sadness and gave me the permission to "still" feel sad. She describes grief as individual to each of us, which made me feel less of a "freak." As I said, I am not a "group help" person. This book, as another reviewer stated, was like having a group in my home. It has now been three months since my mother died. I still start to go to the phone to call her and I still cannot drive past the Alzheimer's unit where she and my daddy spent the last years of their amazing 67 year marriage. But, as Ms. Bartocci explained, I am having more "good days" than bad and am gradually able to talk about my parents without tearing up. Thank God for this book because her words encouraged me to allow myself to continue in my grief, gradually getting better, instead of making myself deny it,even to myself - which would probably have had dreadful consequences. I recommend this book with the highest recommendation and I want to thank the author for her kind heart and for being so open with her life so that she may help people like me.

Rating:
Summary: A support group between two covers!
Review: My remaining parent died this year. I had a wonderful relationship and thought I was prepared for the loss. After six months, I was doing well but caught totally by surprise when a family celebration brought the loss back full force. I found "Nobody's Child Anymore" just as I was wondering if I would ever feel "normal" again. It was a huge support and helped me understand how "normal" I was and also how lucky for the relationship and memories. I felt as if I had found a personal support group just when I needed it the most. Barbara Bartocci has written a beautiful book that shares not only her own experience with loss but that of many others. It is enormously helpful and right to the point. I would heartily recommend this book to anyone who is dealing with the loss of a parent or both. Thank you Barbara!

Rating:
Summary: A nice little book but not quite...
Review: This book was recommended by a Christian counselor after the death of both my parents within about a year's time. I found little comfort in the message of this book. The book looked at death from a New Age standpoint (we can find our comfort in the beauty of mother nature), from the Universalist standpoint (everybody goes to heaven when they die), and the Roman Catholic standpoint (we can pray to other dead people who are in heaven to help our recently deceased loved ones). The book never presents the cause for eternal salvation provided in God's Word - that faith and trust in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ is our means to eternal life with God. Neither of my parents ever spoke about trusting in Jesus Christ prior to their deaths, and it is difficult not knowing if they understood the Gospel of Jesus Christ. If we embrace the message of this book, then there's little need to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the ends of the earth, because either everybody goes to heaven, everybody joins to nature, or we can pray for them after they've passed away. I'd rather use the pain of my parents passing to encourage me to try harder to spread the Gospel of my wonderful Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to the ends of the earth.

Rating:
Summary: Not much comfort
Review: This book was recommended by a Christian counselor after the death of both my parents within about a year's time. I found little comfort in the message of this book. The book looked at death from a New Age standpoint (we can find our comfort in the beauty of mother nature), from the Universalist standpoint (everybody goes to heaven when they die), and the Roman Catholic standpoint (we can pray to other dead people who are in heaven to help our recently deceased loved ones). The book never presents the cause for eternal salvation provided in God's Word - that faith and trust in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ is our means to eternal life with God. Neither of my parents ever spoke about trusting in Jesus Christ prior to their deaths, and it is difficult not knowing if they understood the Gospel of Jesus Christ. If we embrace the message of this book, then there's little need to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the ends of the earth, because either everybody goes to heaven, everybody joins to nature, or we can pray for them after they've passed away. I'd rather use the pain of my parents passing to encourage me to try harder to spread the Gospel of my wonderful Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to the ends of the earth.

Rating:
Summary: Compassionate Guidance
Review: We Americans tend to avoid the subject of death, yet most of us will have to face the death of a parent. Barbara Bartocci has provided a sensitive and practical how-to for the grief process. I particularly like how she uses real situations of people she knows to provide the backdrop for wise suggestions for how to grieve, or at least understand the different ways in which the grief impacts our actions, thoughts and sometimes beliefs. I have given this book to at least six family members or friends who have lost a parent in the past year. All have told me how much this book has helped them to understand and cope with feelings they didn't realize were impacting them with such force. I suggest those who minister to the bereaved keep copies of this book to lend or give.

Rating:
Summary: A Book to Keep on Giving...
Review: We Americans tend to avoid the subject of death, yet most of us will have to face the death of a parent. Barbara Bartocci has provided a sensitive and practical how-to for the grief process. I particularly like how she uses real situations of people she knows to provide the backdrop for wise suggestions for how to grieve, or at least understand the different ways in which the grief impacts our actions, thoughts and sometimes beliefs. I have given this book to at least six family members or friends who have lost a parent in the past year. All have told me how much this book has helped them to understand and cope with feelings they didn't realize were impacting them with such force. I suggest those who minister to the bereaved keep copies of this book to lend or give.

Rating:
Summary: A support group between two covers!
Review: With the death of my father in the past year I have tried to deal with so many emotions that I did not understand. Emotions from my mother, my sister, my brother and myself. This book helped me to understand that we were all dealing with his death differently. This book explained all of what each one of us was going through. It helped in opening our lines of communication to each other. It was a fast and easy read but most of all helpful by showing what one can do to deal with the emotional side of losing your parents.