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Rating:  Summary: Chris is still single? Unbelievable! Review: I perused this book recently, and I have to agree with most of the other reviewers here. To quote Lisa Simpson, "I can't believe they expect us to swallow that tripe!" First of all, the book is full of contradictions. The authors tell the reader that she shouldn't expect her relationship to follow any kind of time table, and to let it proceed at its natural pace, but a few pages later mention that if you aren't married to your man within five years of your first date you *must* leave him, because he obviously isn't interested. This book is full of similar "orders" to the reader (based on his reaction to the mention of marriage, you may be ordered by the authors to leave your man.). Also, the writers' assurance that a man's career will always come first and is the sole reason for his existence is a bunch of baloney (as is the suggestion that a man will only be faithful if you remove "distractions" from his life; or, he doesn't ever go out to anywhere where there will be attractive single ladies again, since they will obviously lure him away from you.) Ladies, there are men--successful, wonderful, caring men--out there who realize that money is not everything in life. I know this because I've been dating one for the past seven months. As for the authors, 1) their perspective is relatively narrow despite the "range" of careers they have since it comes out of New York City. Enough said. 2) I feel sorry for Brad and Rich's wives. The book treats them like they were prizes to be won, and the authors were successful! Yessssssss! 3) Is it any wonder that Chris is still single? If you think this book is a load of ..., then you ought to read the title story in "The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing" by Melissa Bank, which parodies this kind of junk. Happy fishing.
Rating:  Summary: How About After Getting Married? Review: I perused this book thinking that it might give me some useful insights. As an MD, I seem to meet only professional men and am always intrigued by the commitment-phobic natures many of them display. Don't expect this book to give you any balanced perspective -- the three authors display a combination of immaturity and arrogance that's truly dismaying. The section on how to calculate the maximum number of men it's "acceptable" to have slept with based on your age would be funny if it weren't so insulting. Double standards abound in this worthless tome. The only conclusion that I've been able to draw is that if a man is, say, a lawyer, doctor, or accountant (just to pick three professions randomly...), then the usual standards of humanity, respect, and tenderness simply do not apply. If you're a woman looking to reel in a high-income earner with a few letters trailing after his name and don't mind subjugating yourself to his self-importance, then this is the book for you.
Rating:  Summary: Don't Marry Him! Review: I read parts of this book and I skimmed through the remaining chapters. I found this book to be horse manure. This book shows the dark side of men yuppies or not. Because these men have money, they automatically have the license to act like spoiled brats. The double standards listed on this how to book are revolting and show that feminist movement has done little to change many men. They just play the game differently and turn the tables on women by avoiding responsibility to women and giving themselves the freedom to have convenient sex without anybody saying a word.
The book also says that if a guy loses his temper on you for nagging him or anything else you did, it's your fault. Remember that is how verbal and physical abuse starts. All abusers say 'she asked for it' and then get flowers for the woman the next day, in the same way these authors describe in the book.
I could go on and on about all of the unhealthy patterns in relationships they are promoting in this 255 pages of toilet paper. I want to ask this question: If a woman can't stand up to her man and be his equal, how is she going to relate to her father, brother and other male relatives? Then you must also take into consideration the babies that come from this dysfunctional union.
I am also offended at how the book tells women to cohabitate with a man for his convenience. Ladies I'll spare you the heartache and tell you from what I've seen in life: if a man lives with you before getting married, there is a good chance he'll never marry you. You'll only wind up feeling like a used pretend wife. If you desire to cohabitate, do so because it is in your best interest if you want to avoid feeling this way. And this is coming from a regular person.
I find it deeply disturbing how the book also tells women to lie all the way to the altar in order to get the guy. The man can tell the would be bride about his former player days and that is supposed to go down easy like a shake. Whatever happened to 'I don't want to talk about it' if the guy is asking you a question you are not comfortable discussing or any other tactics to avoid touchy topics. It's what any good comminucator would do.
Another thing I don't like about this book is how the authors say one thing in another paragraph and say the exact opposite thing in the next paragraph. It's as if they are trying to make themselves not look like the chauvinist pigs they are. On one hand they said they don't want their women to compete with them and other the other hand they said they want her to be independent so she doesn't aggravate him with her problems all the time. But it's okay for her man to dump on her when he's had a bad day and all she has to do is tell him how much she loves him and smile. Awww. How 1950's.
The book also coddles men who behave badly by having a boys will be boys attitude. Isn't it hypocritical that these men like to watch strippers, lesbians make love and other things yet they hold it against these women when they decide to move on with their lives and clean up? We all go through stages and though I've never stripped, I can't judge a woman who used to do it because I do not know why she did it. I also dislike their condescending attitude towards 'lesbianism'. First off, if a woman is bisexual and loves one man that's a legitimate emotion. Being bisexual has little to do with promiscuity as it has to do with a sexual orientation. Being promiscious is just that, sleeping around. What an ignorant thing to say. These men should have taken some psychology courses before writing this trashy book.
Relationships should be set on the premise of honesty if these childish, arrogant and chauvinist men cannot handle the truth then they should not marry. Women are not supposed to be saints because we come with our virtues and faults. These men live in a dream world when it comes to themselves, relationships and women as people. These authors are saying a man wants to marry a puppet and not a woman. These guys also suggest that women, girlfriends and wives are like sex objects and trophies. These men suffer from an Oedipus complex. I'll bet you anything that while these professional men are neglecting their wives because of their career, the women are cheating on them with a man who is attentive while taking the husband's money.
I gave the book 2 stars because I got something positive out of reading it. I was able to see when to back off a relationship, when a man is an incorrigible jerk, when a man is good but misguided in his relationship with you and when to not take the stuff he does personally. I must say that underneath their arrogance and chauvinism, these men are stupid and I'll tell you why. If these men learned how to multitask their activities, their women would not be complaining so much about their inattentive behavior and jerky ways. One can't have tunnel vision and solely focus on one thing at a time. Life is not like that and you would think that these professional men would know that by now. When good opportunities come your way whether they are romantic or professional, one must take them any which way they know how or else somebody else will gladly take the chance away from you.
This book looks like it is written for white, yuppie people who are coldhearted. We are in the year 2000 and it is so disappointing to see such a book written from such a narrow viewpoint. Books are supposed to have an all emcompassing influence in order to reach all people. If I was to judge men men the same way I judged this book I would say this leaves a lot to be desired in men. This book could have been used as a vehicle for men to redeem themselves and rid themselves of negative stereotypes and it did just the opposite for me.
Rating:  Summary: Three thumbs down! Review: This book should be renamed "DON'T Marry Me!" or "Why you DON'T (ever) want to marry (or meet) a professional man". I think that authors mistakengly assumed that they represent all professional men. We can only hope they were wrong! If they aren't, we must steer clear off all "professionals" for our own sake. There's no place for Love in the authors' world. I don't think authors will ever be satisfied by the woman whom they find using their own guidelines, a woman who can fit them or can sucessfully pretend that she can. The next step, after a few years, would be cheating with your wife's best friend, I'm afraid.. So, ladies: do you want to be enslaved to desires, needs and likes of a man who entirely doesn't care about you or cares if you're healthy and alive only as much as he'd care about his any other property, like a car? Do you want to serve HIS CAREER with YOUR LIFE? Buy this book..
Rating:  Summary: Three thumbs down! Review: This book should be renamed "DON'T Marry Me!" or "Why you DON'T (ever) want to marry (or meet) a professional man". I think that authors mistakengly assumed that they represent all professional men. We can only hope they were wrong! If they aren't, we must steer clear off all "professionals" for our own sake. There's no place for Love in the authors' world. I don't think authors will ever be satisfied by the woman whom they find using their own guidelines, a woman who can fit them or can sucessfully pretend that she can. The next step, after a few years, would be cheating with your wife's best friend, I'm afraid.. So, ladies: do you want to be enslaved to desires, needs and likes of a man who entirely doesn't care about you or cares if you're healthy and alive only as much as he'd care about his any other property, like a car? Do you want to serve HIS CAREER with YOUR LIFE? Buy this book..
Rating:  Summary: Almost perfect Review: This is an excellent book and I wish I had found it sooner. I hope I have not found it too late. I have made the exact same mistakes pointed out in the book, as a woman, and surely, it set back the relationship of my life. Many of the observations all three authors point out are true in my experience. First of all, women have to keep an open mind when reading this book, otherwise their female egos will just get in the way of seeing the wisdom in the book. Many of the chapters are excellent. But some of them are may not be relevant to all readers. Excellent chapters include those with insights on men and how they prioritise their careers, as well as the different stages of their careers and how it affects their relationships with women. Also, the chapters on "Casual dating to monogamy" in which it discusses a man's view on commitment and also "How to get Mr Right to pop the question" are also priceless. However, there are some chapters that may not culturally relevant to some. The chapter on "Sex and the committed relationship" is totally irrelevant to some cultures, where having sex with say, three men by the age of 35 would blow all your chances of getting married at all! The chapter on "Moving In" is also irrelevant to some cultures which find the practice unacceptable. I assume this book was written for largely American women. With all its good points (and a few irrelevant chapters for me), women don't need to get all worked up and defensive about this book. After all, it's just a guideline..but one which could save a lot of relationships.
Rating:  Summary: Chris is still single? Unbelievable! Review: You don't want to wind up with one of these guys! It's better to find yourself a drug dealer.. The book is a display of inhumanity and chauvinism. Authors insist of creating a little world where everything revolves around the Sun--his Professional Grace. The authors seem unaware of the word "love". Try to write to prison penpals or something like that: you'll find more love from convicted killers then from these guys!
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