Kosher Sex : A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy

Rating:
Summary: The Complete Goy's Guide to Jewish Sexual Ethics
Review: (Goy is the Hebrew word for "non-Jew" and is not intended to carry any offense)

I can forgive Rabbi Boteach for his bouncy excess of enthusiasm, in interviews and in person. I can forgive him for going on Howard Stern, becoming famous as Michael Jackson's rabbi... in fact, I can forgive him almost everything, just for this marvellously affirming book.

In Kosher Sex, Boteach lucidly makes his point that, rather than condemn human sexuality, Judaism has traditionally viewed it as the "express lane" to marital contentment.

Boteach has apparently taken it upon himself to repackage the intricate Jewish laws on sexual conduct for the masses, and he has done so astonishingly well. A little short on humility, perhaps, but we knew that already about Boteach's sensationalism and media courtship.

This book is by no means a comprehensive guide to the halacha (Jewish law) pertaining to sexuality. But as an introduction and a philosophical overview, it is masterful and enthusiastic.

Rating:
Summary: Enlightened Relationships
Review: As a religious Jew, it is very difficult to find anyone who is prepared to tackle sexual issues openly and frankly. It has been an absolute breath of fresh air for me to read this book, and get practical advice on the sexual aspect of my marriage.

I HIGHLY recommend it to anyone, but especially to any other observant Orthodox Jews like myself, who need to be able to confront these issues within the "daled amos" of halacha.

Rating:
Summary: Inspiring!
Review: From page one, this book's inspirational idealism soars off the page and into your heart! Love, says Boteach, gives us vision - love makes it possible for us to see how each individual person really is special. At the same time, says Boteach, the way to cultivate love is to show those we love how truly special they are to us. In marriage, one way to show love is to save our sexual energy for our spouse alone. For sex has a special role in cultivating love. If we open ourselves to the magic of eros, we come to know our partners' essential selves. For during sex, words, wealth, professional success, fashion sense, you name it, are all irrelevant.

I would quibble with many of the details that emerge in Boteach's case studies, for (1) his perspective is definitely a masculine one and (2) he believes too strongly that committed sex will lead to love and that love almost always will solve serious marital problems.

But if you read the book in order to be set afire by its main point, and don't take it as a step by step manual for marriage, it's a GREAT read. Its magic stuck with me for weeks.

Rating:
Summary: Inspiring!
Review: From page one, this book's inspirational idealism soars off the page and into your heart! Love, says Boteach, gives us vision - love makes it possible for us to see how each individual person really is special. At the same time, says Boteach, the way to cultivate love is to show those we love how truly special they are to us. In marriage, one way to show love is to save our sexual energy for our spouse alone. For sex has a special role in cultivating love. If we open ourselves to the magic of eros, we come to know our partners' essential selves. For during sex, words, wealth, professional success, fashion sense, you name it, are all irrelevant.

I would quibble with many of the details that emerge in Boteach's case studies, for (1) his perspective is definitely a masculine one and (2) he believes too strongly that committed sex will lead to love and that love almost always will solve serious marital problems.

But if you read the book in order to be set afire by its main point, and don't take it as a step by step manual for marriage, it's a GREAT read. Its magic stuck with me for weeks.

Rating:
Summary: Thank You Rabbi Boteach
Review: Having seen the Rabbi on various programs and read a variety of articles on the book, I think the main thing to remember, typos and all, is that this is a book that discusses the depths of the sexual human union and that when two people marry, they set upon a path that requires constant care. How often have we heard the jokes about how when someone marries they no longer have sex?

The fact is and the Rabbi is wise to point out, that married couples with a firm religious i.e. G-d in their lives connection can and do have the best sex around. But that with the pressure of raising children, work and everyday stress that sometimes we simply need to stop and look at our lover-spouse with the eyes of a lover. That taking care to please is noted in Judaic teachings. And the idea that Dr Ruth who may be "Jewish" teaches Judaic or healthy sex as another reviewer said is laughable!

And I personally am overjoyed that someone who comes from a "conservative" mode would be so kind as to write a book that Jews and non-Jews could read, learn and enjoy. There are many of us who have been married decades who give thanks to G-d for the Rabbis' effort.

Rating:
Summary: Disappointing -- read Dr. Ruth's book instead
Review: I was extremely disappointed in this book. I found numerous inaccuracies, both in the author's descriptions of religious teachings and in information about sexual practices. In some cases (such as his chapter on BDSM), he begins with a completely wrong assumption about *why* people practice BDSM and what they get out of it, and then bases all his judgement on those false precepts. I found many points in which he was out-and-out wrong.

If you're interested in the subject, Dr. Ruth Westheimer's book "Heavenly Sex: Sexuality in the Jewish Tradition" is a much better book -- more accurate and more interesting.

Rating:
Summary: Profoundly Sufficiant
Review: In the Judaic doctrine, Jews must be an epitome par excellence on to the world. Jews must emphatically express there faith and let it beset into all corners of human conscience so that in consequence the God and His holy name would be known to everyone. One of the seven Noahide laws that God bestowed upon Noah and his descendents is sexual immorality. I, as an orthodox Jew truly believe that this work, becoming both prevalent and eccentric, did its job. Its easy to read and very exciting. A great guide for the espoused and for someone who is looking for that one true spouse.

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Summary: Sex is More Than Physical. This is a Life Enhancing Book!
Review: Note: This is not a book about the actual techniques of sex, but deals with your most powerful sexual organ - your mind.....as he quotes Ann Aldrich, "If the psyche is unwilling, no amount of technique can persuade it; and if the psyche is willing, no lack of technique can dissuade it."

This book is about more than Sex, it is about relationships - married and single - religious or not. I am so glad that I did not let the things that I disagree about with Shmuley Boteach to keep me from reading this book. He is a Chasidic Rabbi (Chasidic is Orthodox, but what some incorrectly call "Ultra Orthodox"), though he doesn't really sound like what one might expect (if you are worried about that). Both my husband and I read it and I can't believe what a change it has caused in our lives! We are observant Jews and so we keep the Jewish laws pertaining to family purity which are very rewarding, but this book added insight that was very useful for us. My husband has become more expressive of his affections, we've grown closer together and even our lovemaking is more intimate and enjoyable than ever.

This book isn't only for Jews, but is extremely accessible and candid - and never offensive. He doesn't get into intimate details of the bedroom that one might be embarrassed by. His ideas are very well reasoned and come across as very thoughtful. I found it a thoroughly useful and fascinating book. Most chapters are around 5 pages long. Some shorter, some longer, but they get right to the point and don't go on and on. My attention was sustained throughout. I read a lot of books and am rarely really impressed (especially by books on sex and marriage) and don't recommend books to my friends that often, but this one I've already started recommending. This covers things that my other books on Sex and Marriage (Jewish, Christian or Secular) don't touch or just don't know how to deal with.

Because this book isn't only about sex as the physical act itself I think I aught to give you an idea of the Table of Contents. Part one is "Sex File" with the chapters called, "Lust and Commitment", "Sex and Doing What's Expected", "The Myth of Compatibility", "Sex and Traditional Thought", and "Love, Lust, and Intimacy".

Part Two is "Sexual Techniques: The Mechanics of Sex" with chapters called, "Can Men and Women Really Enjoy Sex Together?", "Is There a Kosher Kama Sutra?", "Your Spouse: A Friend or Lover?", "Is Oral Sex Wrong?", "Married People and Masturbation", "Should Sex Be Used to Mend Bridges?", "Sex, When to Refuse It", "Does Size Matter?", "What about Pornography?", "Lights, On or Off", "Is Prostitution a Safe Option?", "Sadomasochism", and "Orthodox Sex, a Hole in a Sheet?"

Part Three is "Sex for Single People" with chapters called, "Do Singe People Have More Fun?", "Is Marriage a Mere Symbol?", "Career or Marriage?", "Holding Out for the Best", "Choosing a Spouse", What If You Drive Each Other Crazy?", "Why Should We Marry At All?", "Marriage, a Relationship Based on Fragility", and "Why Parental Love Ceases to be Sufficient."

Part Four is "Marriage and Divorce" with chapters called, "Is Divorce Ever a Good Thing?", "Your Spouse's Impossible Flaws", "Adultery, Such Fun?", "Becoming Desirable Again", "Kosher Desires", "Children, Yes or No?", "Do the Children Come First?"

Part Five is "Kosher Sex: A Recipe" with chapters called, "Jealousy", "Mystery", "Romance", "Depth", and "Friends and Family".

The last part is called "The Final Word" with parts called, "Climbing the Mountain", "Checklist for Marriage", and "Kosher Sex in a Nutshell".

Rating:
Summary: Orthodox Rabbi has meaningful insights into the joys of sex
Review: Shmuley Boteach explores intimacy between a man and a woman in a frank and non-judgemental way in this practical yet spiritual look at Jewish teachings on healthy sexual relations. Does having more than one sexual partner make you a better lover, or enable you to make better choices of a spouse? Is it healthy to have sex to make up after an argument without first resolving the conflict? Through addressing questions such as these, the author explodes the idea that sex is just about pleasure or procreation. The picture that emerges makes sense both in secular terms, as well as universal spiritual ones. I would recommend this book to anyone except for religious fundamentalists.

Rating:
Summary: Wonderful journey into Judaism
Review: This book by Shmuley Boteach, probably one of the world's best known Hasidic rabbis, is fascinating, entertaining and educating at the same time - also for those who, like myself, are not Jewish. It is very easily readable for anyone, filled with rythm at all times. For those of you who have seen the author speaking or debating (indeed, he has won several prizes as a wonderful debater and preacher), just think: as you read the book, you can virtually figure him talking and speaking, shouting and questioning, attacking and defending views... You will read it within 3 or 4 hours without putting it down !