<< 1 >>
Rating: 
Summary: This book probably saved my marriage.
Review: After my marriage suffered from a devastating infidelity this book was the first and only trully helpful source of facts that helped me understand adultery. It talks about the 4 types of adultery and the reasons they may occur. The book provides information on potential for repairing the marriage (ie, is your unfaithful spouse a hopeless philanderer or a lost soul that might be saved with help.) Had I not found this book I certainly would not have the understanding of what happened in my marriage that I feel I now have. It helped me to find some peace and begin the healing process. Other books I read and the counselors I talked to were not able to help in this way. I feel Dr. Pittman is a leading expert who is much more knowledgeable regarding infidelity than the average marriage counselor out there. I strongly recommend it for anyone who has a marriage that has suffered from infidelity.
Rating: 
Summary: This book cheats you too!
Review: I read this book after being involved in a "successful" affair for 14 years...spanning through 2 marriages even...I totally agree with the author's viewpoint that the saddest effect of infidelity is the "betrayal of intimacy"... each party remains wounded for life... unless they face up to the truth, reveal it.. seek forgiveness and go on....
Rating:
Summary: Excellent
Review: If you are the betrayed spouse struggling with a drop in self esteem, this book is for you. My husband denied his extramarital affair for months. I bought the book for myself as a sanity preserving measure. He read it, and the insights it contained to his behavior led him not only to admit his infidelity, but to formally end his affair and work on our marriage. Of all the books I've read, this is the only one that doesn't blame the wounded spouse. Conversely, it forces the cheater into accepting responsibility. A must read!
Rating:
Summary: This book cheats you too!
Review: If you want to know how to be a doormat and feel like crap, then this is he book for you! It is a handbook for victims, but with very little real information. The author takes the stance that if you cannot forgive infidelity in your spouse, then you are a controllling, uptight "perfectionist" who is too rigid to have a loving relationship. Are we not allowed to have standards? Are we not allowed to expect mature, honest behavior from the person we share our lives with? I did not understand or appreciate the author's value judgement.Also, there is nothing in here. Because he's a therapist, I guess he thought he could make some money by recounting endlessly his patients' stories. He tells you what happened and what "category" or affair each case fits into. But who cares! If you are reading this book chances are you know the "what happened" side of the story all too well. What you need is how to decide whether the relationship is worth saving, and how to heal yourself after that decision. Language like "sexual accident" and "bad little boys" belittles the situation and the victims of these serious trespasses. Trite advice like "Do not marry a man who hates women," obviously does nothing to shed new light on the subject either. If you are a "rigid perfectionist" like me who chooses not to live with deception, then all you need is faith in yourself and not this silly little book.
Rating:
Summary: `Provided me with a great sense of relief and consolation
Review: Surviving my spouse's infidelity with a truly toxic, disturbed paramour who stalked me and our child certainly has to be one of the most challenging crises of my/our lifetimes. Twenty months later, I am not sure I have survived it on bad days, but Frank Pittman's down-to-earth style and sense of the humorous and the absurd have actually made me laugh about the subject of infidelity; somehow, he has managed to heal a part of me that therapy, couples work and effective legal confrontation have failed to touch. I am grateful, and I recommend this book highly to others in the devastation of their once-monogamous marital unions. One suggestion: Dr. Pittman might have treated the issues of alcoholism and drug use more thoroughly, but his discussions of the manic infidel and manic/romantic affairee hit the mark.
Rating:
Summary: Great Book-Really helped after discovery of spouse's affair
Review: This book is a life saver. It is a very well written book based on years of counseling experience with couples confronted by infidelity. After I discovered my spouse's affair I was, of course, devastated. I had really never believed, for several reasons, that my spouse could cheat and this book was a great roadmap for me on how and why the affair could and had happened. In fact, once I identified the type of affair (the book lists four main types) it was like following a roadmap in dealing with our situation, which was extemely comforting. It was reassuring and helpful to know that affairs follow such predictable paths and this book made it much easier to deal with my personal situation. Mr. Pittman is very insightful and tell it like it is therapist. I find his style to be rather like Oprah's "Tell it like it is Dr. Phil," albeit a more analytical and thoughtful version. I would highly recommend this book to those who have discovered a spouse's infidelity, but according to my spouse it would also be very helpful to the unfaithful spouse as well.
Rating:
Summary: finally... truth about the awful truth
Review: To (...) or not to (...)? Infidelity destroys marriages. That is
the suspicion, and here is the confirmation. Marriage counselor
Frank Pittman has been in the business for decades. He's seen the
couples, he's heard their stories, he's touched for the truth.
Infidelity destroys marriages not because of external sex or displaced
affections, but because of the fear and mistrust it generates -
an ailing marriage will collapse, a sound one be undermined. Expands
outwards into the causes and myths of infidelity. A bible of people
truths, with well considered chapters. Deserves to be a classic.
<< 1 >>
| 
