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There Is Nothing Wrong With You: Regardless of What You Were Taught to Believe

There Is Nothing Wrong With You: Regardless of What You Were Taught to Believe

List Price: $12.00
Your Price: $9.00
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Not in Kansas any more...
Review:
The Wizard of Oz said to Dorothy, "You had the power to go home all the time. You just had to realize it." That is the message of this book and others like it. Of course the realizing can be a journey and take some time and effort. But most importantly it has to be directly experienced, not just intellectually understood or faithfully believed.

I do not doubt the veracity of the people who have had their lives changed by reading this book and following its tenets. However, I must say that the most well intentioned self-help books often fail to achieve for their readers the desired effect. Not only do they fail but the rebound effect of that failure leaves the vulnerable reader/practitioner worse off then when they started.

I cannot recommend this book ( or the 10-day workshop) to anyone who is feeling down for any reason. Instead, I urge you to call a talk therapist and make an appointment; eat appropriately, get at least seven hours of sleep a night, and make sure you are doing something physical each day, like walking.

It's true, there is nothing wrong with you, but having the direct experience of that truth takes balanced thoughtful effort. Come on Totto, let's go home now.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Another incredible book!
Review: As with her book on Depression Cheri Huber has written an incredibly practical book. People close to me have been trying to get me to see a lack of love/self-acceptance in myself lately and I just couldn't get it. This book opened my eyes to exactly how it operates and how I let it get the better of me. As a devout Christian I do work on my life and becoming more like Jesus (nothing wrong with that) but in those efforts I am constantly beating myself up for what I am not. I live under the shadow of failure. For me personally understanding God's love for me is key to a healthy self-acceptance (which she doesn't cover) but she does show me how to deal with those thoughts and how to strengthen my inner self.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: I would only change the formatting
Review: Equal parts Zen and self help, this 233-page book examines how we have been conditioned to punish ourselves, and teaches us how to look deeply beyond that conditioning into our own good nature. It is about letting go of those voices that tell us we are bad, wrong and inadequate long enough for us to catch a glimpse of who we really are (p. ii). In another book, Zen teacher Cheri Huber compares self-hate to a parasite. "It steals your time, your joy, your good feeling about yourself," she writes in SUFFERING IS OPTIONAL (2000). "It steals your life" (p. 21).

In this loosely-organized book ("kind of like life"), Huber says, "something is wrong with you is not the voice of your Heart, God, True Nature" (p. 110). Rather it is the voice of social conditioning that teaches us as children to stop looking to ourselves in order to know what is so for us, and to begin looking to others--parents, teachers, friends, lovers, spouses, "Jesus or the Buddha or God--all'out there'," in order to know what is right (pp. ii-iii). Social conditioning teaches us "to assume there is something wrong with us, to look for the flaws, to judge them when we find them, to hate ourselves for having them, to punish ourselves until we eradicate them" (p. 102). It does not teach us "to love ourselves for our goodness, to appreciate ourselves for who we are, to trust ourselves, to have confidence in our abilities, to look to our heart for guidance" (p. 102). Huber encourages us to be suspicious of any voice "inside or outside that says, 'there is something wrong with you'" (p. 50).

Huber acknowledges it takes courage to look deeply beyond our self-criticism. "To sit still in compassionate acceptance is all that is required," she says (p. 85). Written with wisdom and clarity, Huber's book is an excellent guide for that inner journey.

G. Merritt

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: "In loving kindness."
Review: Equal parts Zen and self help, this 233-page book examines how we have been conditioned to punish ourselves, and teaches us how to look deeply beyond that conditioning into our own good nature. It is about letting go of those voices that tell us we are bad, wrong and inadequate long enough for us to catch a glimpse of who we really are (p. ii). In another book, Zen teacher Cheri Huber compares self-hate to a parasite. "It steals your time, your joy, your good feeling about yourself," she writes in SUFFERING IS OPTIONAL (2000). "It steals your life" (p. 21).

In this loosely-organized book ("kind of like life"), Huber says, "something is wrong with you is not the voice of your Heart, God, True Nature" (p. 110). Rather it is the voice of social conditioning that teaches us as children to stop looking to ourselves in order to know what is so for us, and to begin looking to others--parents, teachers, friends, lovers, spouses, "Jesus or the Buddha or God--all'out there'," in order to know what is right (pp. ii-iii). Social conditioning teaches us "to assume there is something wrong with us, to look for the flaws, to judge them when we find them, to hate ourselves for having them, to punish ourselves until we eradicate them" (p. 102). It does not teach us "to love ourselves for our goodness, to appreciate ourselves for who we are, to trust ourselves, to have confidence in our abilities, to look to our heart for guidance" (p. 102). Huber encourages us to be suspicious of any voice "inside or outside that says, 'there is something wrong with you'" (p. 50).

Huber acknowledges it takes courage to look deeply beyond our self-criticism. "To sit still in compassionate acceptance is all that is required," she says (p. 85). Written with wisdom and clarity, Huber's book is an excellent guide for that inner journey.

G. Merritt

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Zen applied to everyday life!
Review: Hi,

I find Cheri's books to be WONDERFULLY enlightening, interesting, deep and profound, yet fun and funny. A FANTASTIC way to understand deep Zen teachings and apply them to every day life.

The books "There is Nothing Wrong With You" and "Suffering is Optional" especially spoke to me.

I REALLY like the handwritten look text. It is both easy to read, and seems more "fun" somehow than regular book type. Her approach is very conversational and fun, and at times, humorous. She draws me in, and I don't want to stop reading (except to do the exercises).

I previously tried to read some of the Zen classics, by both oriental and western writers, but their writings just seemed to philosophical, too dry, too hard to understand and apply, not to mention too small type to read comfortably. I just happened on Cheri's books at my local bookstore. Once I read one, I was hooked! I've read 5 and counting!

Thank you Cheri!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Zen applied to everyday life!
Review: Hi,

I find Cheri's books to be WONDERFULLY enlightening, interesting, deep and profound, yet fun and funny. A FANTASTIC way to understand deep Zen teachings and apply them to every day life.

The books "There is Nothing Wrong With You" and "Suffering is Optional" especially spoke to me.

I REALLY like the handwritten look text. It is both easy to read, and seems more "fun" somehow than regular book type. Her approach is very conversational and fun, and at times, humorous. She draws me in, and I don't want to stop reading (except to do the exercises).

I previously tried to read some of the Zen classics, by both oriental and western writers, but their writings just seemed to philosophical, too dry, too hard to understand and apply, not to mention too small type to read comfortably. I just happened on Cheri's books at my local bookstore. Once I read one, I was hooked! I've read 5 and counting!

Thank you Cheri!

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: don't waste your time
Review: I bought this book at a time when I really needed help desparately. I found it to be a lot of self babble that brought up your "issues" or problems, but never got in to how to make things better or how to fix them. The "handwritten" print style is very distracting when you are trying to read about something so emotional. I find myself wishing I had not wasted the [amt]for it and am still looking for another book to help me through my troubled times. VERY DISAPPOINTING!!!

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Groundwork for improving your life--a different approach
Review: I take to heart some reviewer's complaints about the book being repetitious and not coherently organized (for them). For me, the repetition was only a little too much. The organization? I liked it. I could easily find the introductory elements, then the expansion of these themes, then the Guide/Student Q&As, then the "How To" parts (for example, how to meditate). The ending was a bit hodge-podge (throwing in the suggestions like writing yourself love letters, etc. -- might not be everyone's idea of fun). But, all in all, the pace was OK. I went fast through the repetitions, and didn't feel like I was cheated out of anything.

To the contrary. It's what Huber is trying to say appears simple, yet it's not so simple at all--and even harder to achieve. It's that Buddhist paradox all the way. It's really hard for us who have been "beating ourselves up" all these years for one thing or another, to really understand how to stop the messages that we learned as children and perpetuated as adults. So, perhaps her repetitive tone is good. Those early messages we learned sure were reinforced over and over by our "ego." And, one of Huber's "solutions" --"sitting" (meditation) is indeed very repetitious, and sometimes boring. Most people probably give up on it when the issues to work on start surfacing.

I think the book is very readable, despite other reviewers' comments about not liking the "handwritten-like" text type. For me, I liked picking up a book that was different in appearance and content than the others I read. I didn't find the pictures distracting either. They seemed to be added to emphasize points and weren't really used to add meaning on their own.

If you are in severe emotional distress, this might not be the book for you. But, if you are generally coping well and want to perhaps try meditating and self-discovery to get rid of those "negative child messages" that you have become accustomed to hearing and acting on, it might be the best springboard. I was left reading the book wanting to try meditating.

Now, if only I could pawn off my kids and husband for 2 weeks, go to her California mountain retreat and take the workshop.... Ah, I wonder what demographic DOES make it there!?

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Self-discovery, as good a book as any, better than most
Review: If you are deeply troubled, this book may be too much. But for those who are tempted to delve into the "why" of the self-hate messages that keep repeating over and over and are preventing growth, this is a good book. Other reviewers were irritated by the cutesy drawings and the typeface that looked "handwritten." Didn't bother me--it was refreshing to read something that looked different and said something different than the other "self-help" books I've read.

It's hard work to meditate and to confront those deeply engrained "child messages." But through silence, waiting, and letting go, I do believe Huber's claim that you can learn to tackle what you were socialized to believe is "the truth" about you as a person.

I would love to go to the retreat in California, but am left wondering about the demographic group that is able to afford the trip and the luxury of time to be away from the real world enough to focus on this kind of healing. Could the child in me scream loud enough to my husband and two children and be released to a tranquil spot for 1-2 weeks to heal!?

That being said, this book was any easy read. I was left with the opportunity to try to figure out what I can do within the limits of my world to gain some insight into the negative messages that prevent me from really liking who I am. Huber's suggestion that "sitting" is the key might very well work for many--if they stick with it.

This book is a good introduction for what you might be able to accomplish. It's well worth the [$$] if you are on a quest to improve your life and are willing to work hard at it.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Simple and Clear
Review: There's Nothing Wrong With You is a distilled conversation with a tremendous impact. It quite clearly states the truth and makes the case for just how we have gotten into the mess we're in regarding our patterns of self-hate, self-invalidation and self-domination. Isn't there something a little insane about intending to dominate ourselves? Yet how often to we attempt to punish ourselves to effect a change. We have been functioning with a convoluted view of this world and how people (including ourselves) should be treated. This book is a lucid description of the condition and the antidote.


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