Nasty People

Rating:
Summary: Thank you
Review: First and foremost, thank you Mr. Carter!! This is a book that that has the ability to completely refocus the "victim". Those who have fallen "victim" to the "nasty people" of the world will be able to clearly describe their characteristics and behaviors after reading this book. Think about the "nasty people" in your life. They are the ones who feel better about themselves by putting others down and those who will criticize, even traumatize by giving and withdrawing attention, affection or their physical presence at whim. Carter provides a very simple, yet complete picture of how to identify the "nasty people" in your life, what the effects of "nasty people" can be and how to change your response to them. His straightforward writing style allows even those who are deepest in denial that they could let others effect them in such "nasty" ways will have to step back and realize the err of their ways. Essentially, Carter's overall message is that "nasty people" have issues themselves, and while we may not be able to change them, we are able to change the way we respond to them. This alone will serve to remove the primary benefit that "nasty people" strive for, and that one thing is power. While Carter's writing is not oozing with major theoretical overtones, it does allow the reader to put things in perspective and close this book feeling a lot more empowered as well as self-appreciating.

Rating:
Summary: Jay Thank You A Bunch!!!!
Review: I bought this book at a store on a whim because I wanted to learn more techniques for dealing with "Nasty People." Instead, it was a book that identified "invalidators" over and over and over. The only definition that I'm left with is: Invalidators are people who make you feel bad. I don't see why there had to be pages upon pages of defining people who, basically, make you feel bad. Especially since, it only takes one sentence.

I was looking for practical examples and suggestions on dealing with nasty people and instead I found an author who seems to have written a vendetta against anyone that has made him feel bad or question himself. I don't care about an author's problems--I do care about an informed person who has tried and true ways of dealing with nasty people.

The last chapter has SOME examples and ways to deal with nasty people, but he says it's up to the reader to find his (or her) own ways. O.K., well then, why did I buy your book? I did give this book two stars because it was an easy read and helped to identify "invalidators."

A suggestion to the author: Rename your book to "Nasty People: How to identify them and gain some knowledge in finding ways to deal with them."

The most disturbing thing about this book is the amount of glorious reviews it has here. In my opinion, it isn't good and I warn readers that you won't be buying a book on how to deal with nasty people, but how to identify them. I suggest that a potential customer shop around on Amazon more before considering buying this book.

Rating:
Summary: It's not that great
Review: I bought this book at a store on a whim because I wanted to learn more techniques for dealing with "Nasty People." Instead, it was a book that identified "invalidators" over and over and over. The only definition that I'm left with is: Invalidators are people who make you feel bad. I don't see why there had to be pages upon pages of defining people who, basically, make you feel bad. Especially since, it only takes one sentence.

I was looking for practical examples and suggestions on dealing with nasty people and instead I found an author who seems to have written a vendetta against anyone that has made him feel bad or question himself. I don't care about an author's problems--I do care about an informed person who has tried and true ways of dealing with nasty people.

The last chapter has SOME examples and ways to deal with nasty people, but he says it's up to the reader to find his (or her) own ways. O.K., well then, why did I buy your book? I did give this book two stars because it was an easy read and helped to identify "invalidators."

A suggestion to the author: Rename your book to "Nasty People: How to identify them and gain some knowledge in finding ways to deal with them."

The most disturbing thing about this book is the amount of glorious reviews it has here. In my opinion, it isn't good and I warn readers that you won't be buying a book on how to deal with nasty people, but how to identify them. I suggest that a potential customer shop around on Amazon more before considering buying this book.

Rating:
Summary: Renewed my sanity!!
Review: Jay Carter's book renewed my sanity. I have lived with an invalidator for 18 years and felt my sanity slipping a little more each year. My invalidator never permitted me complete my thoughts by verbally expressing them. He walked away, snorted, scorned my unfinished thoughts. I was ready to celebrate before finishing the book. Jay almost recited my life and then told me I was okay, not to believe or listen to my invalidator, a one percenter( read the book). He also told me to quit handling, handling his business. Wow what a relief!! No my invalidator is not happy with me, but he wasn't happy before either, so what the hey! I keep reviewing so it will sink in. Really you should read this book. He is nasty and you just keep hoping that he is going to change, he will not, so you must change and get smart.

Rating:
Summary: A Short Read for Deep Ideas
Review: Nasty People is a tiny book. It can be read in one sitting.

But unlike the tiny books in gift shops with the superficial advice, fancy typography, and flowery cover design, this book discusses the deep, logical, fundamental principles that motivate nasty people. Jay Carter refers to these people as "Invalidators." Their victims - confused, sad, and enraged - are called the "Invalidated." These people try and use logic to understand the "Invalidator."

Usually, they fail.

Jay then takes an unexpected turn: there is no such thing as an "Invalidator." Rather, there is the mechanism of Invalidation. This separates the person from the mechanism of "Invalidation." When you attach a person to his or her behavior, the resulting resentment eats at you like a relentless cancer. But separate the person from the behavior, and you might have a solution.

He also directs a section to the "Invalidator." Despite the pain "Invalidators" cause, "Invalidators" are written to with respect. And the victims are guided without pity. Despite Jay's detachment, one can't help but feel incensed at past "Invalidators" - as well as the invalidation one may have done to others. It's an unpleasant idea to face. And this is why many "Invalidators" don't even recognize their own nasty behavior. In their eyes, they could never do anything wrong.

Because of this, Jay's solutions to the "Invalidator" are designed for you to maintain your self-respect, without taking the dignity away from the "Invalidator." In addition, Jay wisely recognizes the uniqueness of each individual. Therefore, few exact solutions are offered. Instead, the reader is encouraged to design his or her own resolutions.

Closing with a blunt letter to Invalidation, Nasty People will change how you relate to others forever.

Rating:
Summary: Small but full.
Review: This book about the nasty people we all seem to encounter at some point in our lives is actually pretty slim and fast reading, yet comprehensive and worthwhile. Jay Carter, author of "Nasty Men" talks about people we know and maybe even love who are expert "invalidators", that is, consciously or otherwise they seek us out and usually, withour our even being aware of their tactics, we find ourselves suddenly victimized by depression, low self esteem and other horrors and we cannot figure out why. This book will show you how to spot these types of people before they harm you, how to deal with them once they do, and how to go on after they have.

Rating:
Summary: Easy & Helpful Read
Review: This book is short -- only 100 pages long. It's also written in layman's terms, so it's easy to follow. An easy read that may help you understand that just because you can't specifically point out why you feel bad around a certain person, that doesn't mean it's you who is the problem.

How many of us have felt bad around someone, but could not find a reason why? That's the doing of a skilled manipulator. The term "invalidation," in my opinion, is not a term you find every day. However, it is the very best word to describe this behavior and I'm thrilled that Dr. Carter stresses it in this book.

Reasonably priced, easy read, and it helps you look inside yourself to see if, possibly, you yourself may be invalidating people and not realizing it. I highly recommend this book!

Rating:
Summary: Worth 100 times its weight in gold
Review: To be sure one of the best concise self-help books. This book should be read by anyone who experiences frequent and serious conflicts. Hopefully, the "victim" and "the invalidator" will both be able to read it, it helps with both coping from the attacks and how to recognize the attacks. "Nasty People..." empowers the victim to understand they are not helpless and they too have a responsibility to solve the problems. Nasty people behave like this ultimately through their own choice, ("made" not "born") and thus, they can do something about it and change themselves.

An Excellent, ethical, helpful book. at this price, buy several copies!

Rating:
Summary: Dr. Jay made my day...
Review: Yesterday while my (I suspect bipolar/bpd) boss was in the kitchen screaming at the staff --over a misplaced dishcloth--and slamming her hand on the counter to accentuate each curse word, I had the good fortune to wait on Dr. Carter and his family. How beautifully ironic that he writes books to help us cope with people like her! He was kind enough to give me two of his books which I read last night and found extremely helpful. I am here today to buy some others which I will readily share with my fellow shellshocked coworkers!
Jay, you are a lifesaver! Come back for a visit anytime!