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Summary: This book really can change your life
Review: "When you argue with reality, you lose-but only 100% of the time," Byron Katie says. To help us stop our painful and hopeless arguments with reality, Byron Katie gives us much more, or much less, than another psychological Band-Aid or superficial pep-talk. She gives us The Work, four penetrating questions that, when asked sincerely, can help anyone tear through years of painful beliefs -"I'm too fat." "My partner should love me more." etc.-leaving the peace and freedom that come naturally from "loving what is."I found The Work a little slippery to understand the first time I heard of it (it's been spreading through word of mouth for years). How can asking myself some questions make any difference? But after I did it, I was blown away! Loving What Is makes learning this process fairly simple, through detailed instructional material, humorous anecdotes (Katie is famous for her sense of humor), and dozens of powerful examples of The Work in action. Co-author Stephen Mitchell's intelligence and precision are evident in the book's seamless structure, and in how naturally Katie's clarity and warmth make it to the page. This book still requires "active" reading-and you have to do The Work yourself in order to really get it-but for those who are willing to try something new, Loving What Is really could change your life. It changed mine. (I highly recommend the audiobook as well.)
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Summary: Every word rings with TRUTH
Review: Absolutely the best "self-help" book I've ever read! Byron Katie doesn't preach or force her opinions on others, but instead facilitates a powerful method designed to get us to recognize our own truth and that of others. How do we know reality should be the way it is? Because that is how it is. Any story we tell ourselves about how reality should be causes us suffering and is insane. This is not a book on complacency. This is a book on acceptance and loving what is. Freeing energy to direct attention toward the one person who can truly make a difference in our lives -- ourself. This books shows the way out of "victim mentality" and woundology that is so prevalent in our culture. You don't have to read it. But if you are suffering and want the suffering to end, this is the way.
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Summary: A powerful spiritual tool
Review: Byron Katie's "Work" is so incredibly profound it is easy to miss the power of it. I misunderestimated it at first because of the simplicity of it, until a friend sat down with me and helped me go through the steps she outlines, without allowing my mind to fall back into it's normal habits. Spiritual teachings for thousands of years have taught us that the road to happiness and personal power is detaching ourselves from our desires and assumptions, but this is an extremely difficult process. It is easy to memorize a philosophical theory, and easy to figure out the things we need to work on, compared to how difficult it is to actually release those old thought patterns. Byron Katie's "work" gives us powerful and practical steps that help to lead our mind through the correct process of analyzing just how transparent, stressful, and un-necessary some of our beliefs are. This allows our mind to let go of these beliefs ("stories" as she calls them) with love and understanding. We still have to put out the effort for our growth, but this book is a powerful tool. Byron Katie's statement "Arguing with 'what is' is like trying to tach a cat to bark," is so true. It is wonderful the peace that comes when we finally stop fighting "what is," stop trying to impose "what should be," and learn to just "be."
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Summary: Without a doubt the best gift I ever gave myself!
Review: I have only just finished reading the last chapter. It's been about two weeks though since I started practising "the Work" as it is called, and the transformations have been mindblowing and superlatively fantastic. I am now giving out copies by the dozen to all my friends and loved ones, and I can assure you I have never felt the need to do this with any other book...
I read some of the more "negative" reviews on this book, and although I can see their authors' points, it seems at the same time pointless to argue with these people: They want to stick to their own stories, so OK, let them! Those who want to really get on with their lives, this is THE book to get. You'll never need another therapist again...
The book departs from two premises:
- You want your own suffering to end
- You are ready to face the truth about yourself and the causes for your suffering
Any of these two things not true for you? Then it doesn't work. Don't blame the book, you're doing this to yourself...
With Love
S. Vincent
Rating: 
Summary: "The Work" may potentially harm
Review: I listened to this book on CD and tried very hard to keep an open mind...that is, until I came to the part where this woman who had been sexually molested as an 8 year old child by her father spoke with the author. If I had been in the audience, they would have thrown me out, because I would not have sat there and permitted this woman to say and totally accept (as she went through "The Work/Inquiry") that SHE had ABUSED her father, and that SHE was WRONG since she never lied for her stepmother about this abuse (when asked to do so in a court hearing at 14 years of age), yet elected to tell the truth, resulting in her stepmother putting her out and alienating her from the family.
A TRAINED PROFESSIONAL (degreed in psychology, etc.) should ONLY TREAT another with abuse issues. In fact, going through "The Work/Inquiry" very well could have done more HARM than good for this victim. If I'm confused in my thinking (as the author would put it), so be it. I'll gladly accept the rap, yet stand firm on my stance.
Now, I can see in SOME cases where "The Work/Inquiry" would work well for one to self-actualize. Sure, we do have to take responsibility for ourselves, our stories, our thoughts, but NEVER to the point where we accept self-blame for the actions of some sadistic (fill in the blank)!
Perhaps the entire point of "The Work/Inquiry" is forgiveness...forgiveness of self and others. Forgiveness is important to one's health, as is self-love and gaining inner peace; however, so is validation. Validation is not about assigning blame or being right; validation is all about (as the author puts it) WHAT IS, without clouding WHAT IS with unjust self-doubt/blame, for doing so is yet ANOTHER FORM OF ABUSE! You HAVE to experience your stories in your OWN way, in your own TIME, and if need be, seek PROFESSIONAL help. You need validation in order to pursue closure.
To apologize to your abusers (as the author suggests) for what they had done (the acts) is a bit sadistic. Give me a break! I can see the health benefit in offering forgiveness/acceptance only for the abuser, the person, but never for the ACT...the vicious act of child abuse.
An interesting read; however, potential for harm is quite evident in "my projection" of what this book teaches. And, this all comes from the heart of a child...a child who has grown and survived child abuse herself.
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Summary: An American Classic
Review: I took Eckhart Tolle's advice and read "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie. The book represents a profound renewal of American wisdom. Comparisons with works from the great wisdom traditions are tempting. Stephen Mitchell is certainly familiar with most of these traditions. He is a writer and translator of impeccable discernment. His translations and adaptations have given us works of the highest human achievement rendered into exquisitely readable American language. Mitchell has made works such as the Bhagavad Gita, the Book of Job and the Tao Te Ching accessible to us while maintaining the integrity of their sacred message. You can trust him to pick only the best and present it to you like a lover offering the highest gifts. Now Mitchell's gentle and loving collaborative presence has helped to bring Byron Katie to a wide audience, while maintaining the integrity of her simple yet profound process call The Work. The book is structed around dialogues that Byron Katie has had in various settings doing The Work with people, many of whom are in a state of extreme suffering. The dialogues are flanked by explanatory text into which are wondrously woven aphorisms of profound and practical wisdom. Someone once said that Katie sounds like Rumi being channeled by Mark Twain on estrogen; short sentences of common-sense mystical insight flow through the text to help deepen the understanding revealed in the dialogues. Yet it is the dialogues that best reveal The Work. They possess a newness and a timelessness that invite you to enter into freedom. Yet The Work cannot be dismissed by the more cynical among us as navel-gazing passivity or mysticism, because it is a product of the action-oriented, do-it-yourself culture in which we live. We invented the do-it-yourself manual. You could say that, in keeping with the grand American tradition of practical self-reliance, "Loving What Is" is the first undo-it-yourself manual. In explaining this technology of freedom to us, Byron Katie travels with us to the minutest and most intimate corners of our lives to greet the things which we mistakenly identify as our unchangeable core of suffering and stuckness. We are invited here to get stuck in freedom, to learn how to de-neurose and un-suffer. The book teaches us to do this not by resisting those things which we experience as the cause of our suffering or the trigger of our neurosis, but by looking at these things with an attitude of profound openness and inquiry. By questioning them we learn to escape from the entrapments of our stories and memories that identify us with suffering.. You can place "Loving What Is" on your bookshelf next to the great spiritual classics. Or better still, you can give it to your grandmother or your boss or even your ex. Give it to Oprah, and maybe she can get copies to Bush, or to Arafat and Sharon. But best of all, give "Loving What Is" to yourself. Put the book in your lap on a daily basis. Whether it's a lotus lap or a zazen lap or just a couch-potato lap, the book will meet you where you sit and help you find the ease of being which you seek.
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Summary: It's OK but Not All That
Review: I'm sort of surprised at the number of five-star reviews this book has gotten. Yes, "The Work" could be a powerful tool in lots of situations but there are many situations in which it's just not appropriate. Here's an example: "My kid should do his homework." The truth: He doesn't. "How do I feel when I think that?" Like making him do his homework. "Who would I be without this thought?" A worse mom? I mean, come on. It just doesn't work for all situations. That doesn't make it worthless, but the author ought to acknowledge the method's shortcomings.
Also, the ideas are really not all that original. The "acceptance" theme is highly derivative of a 12-step program as are the ideas of cleaning up one's own house first, acknowledging one's role in conflicts, and making amends to anyone one might have hurt in any way. My guess is that the author has encountered one of these programs since she came to this method while at a halfway house. Should've given credit where credit was due.
All that said, it's not a bad book, just not what it's made out to be.
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Summary: This is the real set of tools to change your life.
Review: If you are stuck in any way and really want your freedom - the truth of your experience and the solution to any problem - you can read the book, listen to the CDs, or check out her website - www.thework.org and do the four questions for yourself.
I listen to the CD version again and again and again, gaining more and more from it each time. I anticipate doing the same thing with her second book about relationships as well.
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Summary: Discovering yourself through Inquiry
Review: In Loving What Is, the authors explain Byron Katie's technique, called "The Work." It is about how to resolve problems, live from a place of peace and aliveness, and how to examine what is, rather than our thoughts about what is. Her approach is refreshing and inspiring. The technique centers around what Katie calls the "Inquiry," four simple questions that allow people to discover how their own thoughts deceive them and create obstacles to a satisfying life. Her book illustrates the "Inquiry" with examples from people she has worked with. She addresses aspects of life that affect everyone: relationships and family, work and money, death and terror. What I enjoyed about her work and her style is that she encourages people to simply look at their thoughts and behaviors, without putting pressure on them to be different than they are. This allows their problems to dissolve. Rather than trying to solve peoples' problems, Katie takes them through a process of examining their reality and shares her enthusiasm and passion for living with awareness. Another book that explores the magic and ease of living in the present and the healing effect of discovering your own truth is Working On Yourself Doesn't Work by Ariel and Shya Kane. This is a simple, honest, and empowering book that captures the essence of how to live a rich, fulfilling and exciting life by letting go of mechanical behaviors from the past that stand in the way of aliveness and well-being.
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Summary: YOU'LL END UP IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF
Review: Nothing else like it EVER!!! IF YOU ONLY READ THE BOOK AND DON'T DO A WORK SHEET YOU ARE COMPLETELY MISSING THE POINT. That would be like reading about what chocolate tastes like and expecting to get it without ever eating the chocolate (and then perhaps even saying the chocolate doesn't taste good) or reading about what it feels like to be overwhelmed by the love pouring out of your heart for a son who you previously were very frustrated with but never taking the steps to see were you will end up with your story. The book is about doing THE WORK. THE WORK - Not the book - CHANGED MY LIFE!! AND BY MY CHANGING, CHANGED THE LIVES OF MY CHILDREN!! For the first time in my life I am truly happy on the inside. I feel grounded, I feel alive, I am in love with myself, I am in love with my life. From this place I am able to truly love others and to be free to pursue my dreams. From this place I am also able to say no if something doesn't feel right because now I know the difference. Now I just say no with love - no shame, no guilt, no fear, no story. From this place I am able to see the blue sky and the red flowers...
I did a retreat with Katie and she does not try to stear anyone, she always meets people where they are and loves them from there. She is totally unattached to the outcome. It is your own process. I never know where I will end up when I start and am always ABSOLUTELY BLOWN AWAY when I am done. and always delighted, lighter and alot more honest. Sometimes it is a little bewildering to see the truth but from there the love comes, the laughter comes, the peace comes. Do a work sheet on any thought that creates stress and then relax and put it to the questions. Let the answers come from within and they will set you FREE!!!!! I am not into suffering I just didn't know how not to. Now I do. Do a work sheet, do the questions. Do another and another and another. Now I look for things to do the work on because it keeps getting better all the time!!!!!
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