Woman Power : Transform Your Man, Your Marriage, Your Life

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Summary: To win read Alexander the Great's Art of Strategy
Review: Alexander's mother, Olympias, was the ultimate in woman power. She knew how to assert it with her husband, exert it on her son, and use it on those around her. She protected her grandson after Alexander's death and came out at the head of a 30,000 troop army to wrench the throne. Angelina Jolie plays her in Oliver Stone's Alexander. Read this book if you want to find out what lessons to learn from this great lady.

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Summary: Marriage help lite
Review: As a "how-to" book, I would have to give this a pretty low rating. As an entertaining read, I would give it an even lower one, though, so I'll stick with rating it as an instructional text. While it hits on some useful points, such as how anti-male bias can hust marriages, and how even one partner being nice will often improve a relationship, it is just too simplistic. Dr. Laura's premise is that, if the husband isn't an all-out psycho, then any problem in the marriage is the woman's fault, because all men just live to please the woman they love--she "proves" this premise by quoting many emails from men who say that they do. I ran this past my husband, just to make sure I wasn't being cynical. I asked him, "Do all husbands live to please their wives, and would do anything for them if the wives just gave them love and respect?", and my husband responded, "No, but they'd like to THINK that they would". Therein lies the problem. This how-to-fix-it book is based on an unproven one-size-fits-all premise. It would be like writing a Chilton's manual on only how to repair a transmission, because I've gotten a lot of mail from people saying that their transmission went, so I know that any time a car breaks down, it's the transmission. Some of the questions may be thought-provoking, but I found many of them repetitive, and my husband just found them irritating (not a good thing for a book that's supposed to improve a marriage!)--I can't honestly picture any man sitting around answering these questions with his wife. This premise was done before, and more entertainingly, in Andelin's "The Fascinating Woman". For a book that gives real, positive ways for a woman to improve her marriage, get "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace.

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Summary: Whoo-Hoo! It's working at my house!
Review: I am SO glad I found this book! I had known for quite some time that I had a real problem with anger towards my husband -- I just basically actively resented him for having what I viewed as an 'exciting' life out working every day while I was staying home with juice boxes and Brownie scouts and Barney on the television. Even when he tried to help me to be happier, it never seemed to work. And he used to ask me "Well, what is it that you want?" and I was never able to tell him.

I'm one of those women who realized through this book how deeply ingrained that amorphous anger towards men is in our culture, how as women we are kind of socialized to be angry and bitter. It's like we want to get married so much, but then once we are, we seem to feel trapped in it, and spend all our time complaining how it's not like in the movies.

This book is a powerful shot of reality, and the answers are so simple. I've basically just stopped being negative towards my husband, and started actually treating him like a person. And our life is so much better. Happiness is really a choice. Thanks, Dr. Laura, for helping me see that.



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Summary: I found it very helpful
Review: It has been hard for me to conquer my shrew-like ways. I was raised in a very anti-male home and those sentiments have stayed with me. But I KNOW I need to change. I am sickened by my current behavior. The first one, proper care, convinced me men were not evil but DID have needs. The second one helped me work through my issues with trying to meet those needs. Our society has NOT been raising women to be selfless. If men have problems that isn't really our perogative. We can just do OUR best to try to love and cherish them and in doing so make ourselves happier people with happier marriages.

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Summary: 0 stars
Review: The title "Woman Power" led me to expect the author to encourage women to be strong, confident human beings. Instead she encourages women to be subservient and calculating. She also hurtles accusations and blame toward feminism and women with careers, insisting that both devalue what is "truly meaningful" and turn men into wimps. If doing every bit of work in the relationship isn't turning your man into a wimp I don't know what is. This book is not worth reading unless you wish to elevate your blood pressure or become Donna Reed.

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Summary: Great Book
Review: This book really made sense to me. It has helped my marriage. I would recommend it to anyone married or not. I really started understanding how the male mind works. It was weird that it was a woman explaining it but I dont think I would have listened if it had been a man. This book was meant for people who have a somewhat healthy relationship. In saying that I mean I dont think this book is going to help someone with their husband if they are in a dangerous relationship where there isnt some level of respect for each other. But for alot of us it should help us to understand our husband or significant others better. Which in return will help us to respect each other and get along better.

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Summary: Power or Duty?
Review: This book should have been titled "Woman Duty". In order to understand the approach taken in this book, one has to be somewhat familiar with Schlessinger's "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". In that book, Schlessinger unabashedly harped on a woman's responsibility to be the give all, end all to any marriage. One also needs to understand that both books are based on a deeply conservative and very religious philosophy. She preaches the need for women to abandon the pursuit of independence and self-governing authority for a "selfless" life. That is, do all for husband and family, be happy with the act of giving, expect nothing in return and hope that there is some form of reward. The double standards throughout that book and Woman Power are simply too numerous to list here. One such standard is the concept that stay at home moms should be happy working a 12 hour day and should give hubby at least one half hour "decompression time" before "attacking" him with details of her day. She should keep the children quiet, have dinner on the table, greet him with a kiss, let him watch TV, help the kids with homework, put them to bed, clean the dishes, re-do her makeup, slip on something silky and initiate sex with her husband. No mention of any "decompression time" for her..perhaps Schlessinger simply doesn't see any need for it.

In both books, Schlessinger makes excuses for a man's unruly, self absorbed behavior by saying that it's "in their nature"....something that women shouldn't expect to change. Yet, in the same breath, she talks about woman's nature and how woman MUST change it, in order to get along with hubby.

This book has some credibility to it in that the exercises help to focus the reader on an indisuputable point: it is much more popular today to "bash males" than it was twenty years ago. The exercises help to make women more sensitive to how easy it is to buy into that mindset. However, Schlessinger ignores the fact that women have been subject to this kind of bashing for hundreds of years, not mere decades.

"Woman Power" is called a "workbook" to bring husbands and wives closer together. Problem is, Schlessinger is the first to attest that men are not conversationalists by nature. Therefore, one wonders how a woman could possibly get their husband to sit through the exercises posed in the book. Schlessinger maintains that women have "strengths" that men don't have. Yet, she never names even one of them!

In summary, women who are desperate to save a failing marriage will most likely welcome an opportunity to put all the blame on themselves in an effort to gain some control over the situation. For them, this book will provide some instruction on how to become an adoring and accepting doormat. However, men and women who are secure in their gender and have a healthy dose of self-esteem will find this read (as the former) insulting to both genders. The old saying, "It takes TWO to tango" isn't an accidental discovery. "Woman Power" maintains that only one person, the wife, has the duty to make the marriage work and that it should work only for her husband.

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Summary: Discovering My Own Truths In Relating
Review: This interactive book is made up of questions and answers that provide opportunities for thoughtful reflection on marriage and attitudes or feelings one has towards another gender. I found the questions very helpful and insightful in deepening my appreciation of my husband and our relationship. I became more aware of my socially-absorbed attitude towards others and recognized that these attitudes were not how I truly felt.

Another relationship book I highly recommend is called "Working on Your Relationship Doesn't Work" written by Ariel and Shya Kane. In their book, the Kanes share real life experiences that shed light on creating and maintaining satisfying relationships. What I appreciate most of in both of these books, is the practicality and ease of applying the author's suggestions to my own life.

It's refreshing and invigorating to discover my own truths and how I relate rather than live mechanically through assumed views I gathered around me over time. If you're interested in discovering your own truths and having loving and enriching relationships in your life, I highly recommend reading both of these insightful books.

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Summary: Get Out the Saran Wrap
Review: This reminded me of that book that was popular in the 1960s, where the author advised the wife to greet the husband at the door dressed only in saran wrap. Okay...
The biggest problem with the ideas in this book is that I don't think most of them work in real life. According to Dr. Schlessinger, a woman is supposed to make her husband and her marriage her main priority, and knock herself out twisting into what he wants to please him, but I would think a man would get bored with this after the first glow wears off.
I think literature and fiction give a much better view of relationships.
In the book The Memoirs of Cleopatra, one of the most passionate love affairs in history is documented - the love of Cleopatra and Julius Caesar. In this book, Cleopatra is depicted as a passionate woman, a brilliant and caring queen who works hard for her country and people, a loving mother, and a political genuis. She meets Caesar as an equal, gives him political advice, (at first he gets angry, but when he calms down, he admits she has a streak of political genuis, and goes wiht some of her advice, although not all"), presents herself as a strong person and queen, and is not in any way subordinate to Caesar. He remains attracted to her, enchanted, and says a reason for his attraction is that they are both gamblers, both strong, and there is an immediate and lasting connection between them. She doesn't have to hide herself or pretend anything to avoid "emasculating" him - her strength and power and personality makes him stronger.
I think when a woman is fully herself, no acting, pretending or changing necessary, she will attract the man who is meant for her, and their marriage will flourish.

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Summary: your really don't need it
Review: Woman Power is essentially a workbook to go along with Care & Feeding. It really can't stand alone. Without Care & Feeding it's worthless and to be honest you could do just as well by buying a 99 cent notebook and writing down your observations and admissions after reading Care & Feeding. The only way I'd recommend buying Woman Power is if your bookstore has a buy one get one free say. Care and Feeding is an important book. Woman Power is really just fluff.