The Interfaith Family Guidebook: Practical Advice for Jewish and Christian Partners

Rating:
Summary: Don't Kid Yourself!
Review: Here's a big truth that I dearly wish the author of this book had pointed out: In the United States, for the last fifteen years, Jewish-Jewish marriages have had a seven percent divorce rate, while Jewish-Christian marriages have had a staggering SIXTY PERCENT DIVORCE RATE. That's even higher than the whopping fifty percent in the U.S. at large!

The writer treats the profound spiritual, historical, and cultural differences between Jews and Christians as matters that can be merely discussed and negotiated away. But in reality, there is no amount of planning, talking, agreement, or compromise that can undo this truth. Obviously there are tremendously important issues at stake, that run very deep into the core of who are are as individuals, and the kind of couple and family we are trying to create.

And here's another issue not really addressed by the author at all: For those couples who will marry and have "interfaith" children, certainly you have countless options for the religious upbringing of your kids. That's only ONE thing to consider. A much more profound issue for offspring of interfaith marriages as they grow into adulthood is often, "Why did my father (or mother) wind up having to cancel out his (or her) spiritual identity in order to satisfy someone else?"

Aside from that, the book is fine.

Rating:
Summary: It doesn't work - here is a personal experience
Review: I'm with the first review I read, discussing the Jewish-Jewish divorce rate vs. Jewish-Christian divorce rate.
It's important to note that this can be an issue even if you have a Jew and a Gentile who are both non-practicing,
because Judaism is an ethnic identity. Because if you are Jewish, there are a whole lot of people out there who don't like you, and this rich cultural history you have, and your non-Jewish partner will not "get it".
As someone with an agnostic Jewish mother and a non-practicing Christian father, who was raised nothing, I can say that it just does not work. My parents had arguments for years over the Jewish-Christian issue. They finally divorced over it. My mother found a Jewish agnostic like herself, and my father found another lapsed Christian.
I had an identity crisis for years until I discovered that I am Jewish (because of my Jewish mother) and decided to discover Judaism. When I marry I will marry a Jew because I value my heritage and I want my children to know who they are.
Spare your parents the grief, spare your kids the heartache, just do one faith and be done with it.

Rating:
Summary: Sorry some of you had bad experiences, but...
Review: I've been in a Jewish/Christian marriage for nearly 10 years, and while my spouse and I certainly have our conflicts, virtually none are based on our religious differences. We've had arguments about politics, arguments about our relationship, arguments about operating systems, but religion? Naaaaah.

When we got married, we knew--thanks to books like this one--that we might have issues to face, and so far, I think we've done pretty well with them. We share basic values and, for the most part, appreciate each other's cultural differences. In my opinion, every marriage between two people raised in different families is going to require some compromise between cultures. We're fortunate that we were prepared to make that effort.