Rating: 
Summary: I can't say enough good things about this book!
Review: When one uses the term "sexual addiction," one must hasten to clarify that the term is not used to excuse sexual sin, but to describe a pattern of sexual misbehavior that persists despite a strong desire for purity. Those who are born again desire to do good, but many become ensnared into a pattern of physical, or at least mental, adultery. Sexual addiction is 1) a state of chemical dependency on the chemicals released in the brain during orgasm 2) a state of being bound by demons 3) a habitual, unchosen method of coping with fundamental problems in one's person. This state can be expressed in persistent patterns of: fantasizing about sex with someone besides one's spouse, masturbation, viewing pornography, extramarital sex, or illegal sexual behavior. The problem of sexual addiction, like other addictions, is worthy of study because the Church's typical answer to addiction does not set people free. In fact, a pastor who preaches and counsels people to try harder and to read their Bible, simply prays for them, or attempts to shame them into purity will reinforce the root of the addiction, not pull it out. Sexual addiction is an out-of-control, ingrained pattern of behavior that is not broken by making promises of abstinence to oneself or by trying harder. Pastor Ted Roberts refers to sexual addiction as a noose because making promises to oneself, or getting prayer for lust to be removed, only makes the guilt stronger, which makes the behavior worse, just as a noose can be tightened by pulling against it. Roberts counsels addicts to seek help so that someone else can cut the noose. The one who cuts the noose is Jesus, but let us be careful not to oversimplify. Because Jesus does not want to remove the humanity inherent in our capacity for intimacy, he does not remove lust. Instead He gives love and forgiveness that heal the root of addiction so that body, soul, and spirit can be aligned under Him. A single person's body must experience three months of chastity, without the flush of chemicals associated with orgasm. His mind must be renewed by learning about how God views him and his problems. His spirit must be washed in the word of God by reading and memorization. The whole person must be healed. Practical, transparent accountability relationships must be established and adhered to, preferably in a small group bible study focussed on sexual addiction. Demonic strongholds must be supernaturally destroyed by spiritual warfare. The reason prayer does not usually solve sexual addiction is because demonic bondage is not the only problem- the other, time-consuming steps listed above must be taken. If we pray for demon influence over a person to be removed, the person can still invite the demon back if he has not learned to stop using sexuality to cope with life. Roberts describes the "addictive mind set" as being unrenewed in the areas of self-esteem, believing one is unlovable and alone, and searching for sexual highs. He describes the "sexual lifestyle" as a cycle of: fantasy, followed by a ritual of behavior, followed by an attempt to muster more will power to avoid another sin, later followed by more shame and guilt, leading to more fantasy. Pastor Roberts' successful deliverance ministry has shown empirically that this noose is only cut by doing the opposite of what people expect: by removing the shame. This is accomplished by accepting Christ's forgiveness, by gaining pride that the Christian addict cares enough to confront his own behavior, by putting faith in the work that Christ is doing in His bride to make her without spot or wrinkle. Roberts describes the "addictive cloak" as the isolation resulting from denial, delusion, and blame. Accountability relationships remove the addictive cloak. Roberts describes the root of addiction as family dysfunction (especially lack of a healthy, strong, relationship between child and father), personal trauma (notably sexual abuse), and exposure to an addicting society. I hope it is clear that this approach to deliverance is not a modern fad. One hundred years ago, what Roberts calls "cutting the noose," Hudson Taylor's daughter called "Hudson Taylor's spiritual secret."
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