My Louise: A Memoir

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Summary: Perseverance amidst prodigious tribulations
Review: At some point or another--and whether we like it or not--we are bound to experience tragedy within the course of our lives. For some, that personal loss may refrain until we've spent innumerable years with our loving spouse, but for others, a tragic blow may be dealt much sooner and with absolutely no remorse. In David Collins' case, he was forced to watch a ravenous cancer steal away his young wife's life, and as if that wasn't enough, he was then left to raise their new daughter on his own. His memoir is an account of experiencing a horrid loss, but also of how to pick up the pieces and move on with life, if only for their daughter's sake. Fortunately for Collins, however, his daughter (Robin) provided one true tangible link to his lost wife. And throughout the struggles of raising a child without his Louise, he hints at the idea that--without Robin--moving on after such defeat may have been impossible.

What Collins has done so efficiently (along with his intense appreciation for aesthetics) was to encompass all the feelings that one might have while losing their spouse, and then vividly depict them throughout the story. At one point, he personified the disease, citing several times how he would have liked nothing better than to pummel the rapacious cancer from his wife's withering body. He was tired of failed treatments and hospitals; he just wanted to get this disease in a ring and duke it out.

Furthermore, Collins aptly described the frailty of life, which most of us tend to forget about until real disaster strikes. Amidst his drowning in a sea of hopelessness, he yearned for powers beyond his reach - anything that could save his young wife, he was ready to do. Yet the harsh reality of this world proved that there was nothing more that could be done. His defiance of the impending loss seemed as obstreperous as his wife's own battle with the unabated cancer, but Collins (appropriately) never delved too far into the details of Louise's personal struggles. He may have stripped his own emotions down to their purest and rawest form; but he managed to give the reader a heartfelt glimpse of Louise's suffering without being superfluous.

These were real emotions that any one of us could feel, and Collins held nothing back when expressing his disgust for Louise's cancer. And while he hints at an ambivalent God during his incessant bouts with frustration, he manages to exert hope that perhaps someone up above took his Louise for a good reason.

From his indelible love for his wife and countless battles with his precocious daughter, to a brief stab at imperialism and questioning of piety, Collins has written a daring work, one which I thoroughly enjoyed. I found that I shared with him many of the same opinions: relationships (and marriage) are not always utopian, but with mutual work, life with your loved one has the potential to be sublime. Moreover, when that fortuitous battle arrives (be it cancer or some other tribulation), it can be vehemently fought as a team, not unilaterally.

We don't ever want to give in or give up, but how do we carry on when that battle has been inexorably lost? As Collins stated, "...a miserable situation can be endured..." but that doesn't mean it's going to be easy. This story of grief seems like it could only be found within the pages of a book, but the fact of the matter is that it did happen; it happens to both good and bad people, and it's going to happen whether we like it or not. The true task is perseverance and subsequently finding the needed strength to carry on. For David Collins, he found his strength each day when he looked at his daughter. He had to carry on, if not for Louise, then quite simply for Robin.

Rating:
Summary: My Louise: A Memoir
Review: Ever been on a rollarcoaster of emotions~we all have and this book does just that through words and the overwhelming history of love and loss~given to David by fate. I laughed, cried, and truly "felt" the words David Collins used in his book. I picked it up and couldn't put it down because he let the reader feel his pain through the eyes of a husband struggling through his personal rollarcoaster. In the end, you just wanted to love him for who he was and what he has done for himself and his daughter. Powerful. Pick it up and enjoy!

Rating:
Summary: My Louise
Review: Reading David Collin's My Louise was a very moving experience for me.

Having "lived" through a similar experience, I can relate to much of the content, meaning and feelings described by David. Although my wife was fifty-six when she died of cancer, and I didn't have a two year old daughter to raise alone but four grown sons to be concerned about, I was easily able to relate to David's agony, his great feeling of loss and particularly his loneliness. He took me back to 1989 when I suffered my loss.

I was powerfully moved by David's story, his grief journey and his enduring love for not only Robin but for Louise, as well. His total commitment to give Robin as normal (whatever that is) a childhood and life as possible makes me feel good for Robin. She was so unlucky to lose her Mother at such a young age but so lucky to have such a caring and committed Father.

David's portrayal of Louise and the courage displayed by both Louise and David, which came shining through in this memoir, was most moving.

I thank David for freely sharing so much of himself and his family. It was a privilege to have had the opportunity to be allowed to share such an intimate experience.