Raped in the House of God : The Murder of My Soul

Rating:
Summary: "Why don't they just get over it?"
Review: "Why don't they just get over it?" That's the reaction of many Catholics, clerical and lay, when the topic of the victims of sexual abuse by clergy comes up. Part of the answer can be found in a new book, "Raped in the House of God," by Jim Parker. Jim is a 56-year old professional business and personal coach in Tucson. Jim, an ardent advocate for survivors of clergy sexual abuse, leads the Tucson chapter of SNAP-Survivors of those Abused by Priests.

One morning in 1961, in the sacristy of Saint Mary's Cathedral, the Parker family's parish church in Lansing, Michigan, after Jim served as altar boy for Father Boyer's celebration of the 8:15 Mass, Father Boyer anally raped 12-year old Jim Parker. That clerical abuse of power, that heinous criminal act had a profound life-changing effect on young Jim Parker. Before the rape, Jim was a model student who trained other altar boys and was preparing to be a priest. After the rape, Jim never went back to Saint Mary's, became a problem teenager, and as an adult became addicted to sex.

The book is very readable, is 142 pages long, and can be read in about 4 hours. It has 16 chapters, but really has three parts.

The first part describes Jim's early years. His large family-he is one of 12 children, who gather to say the rosary. His love of his parish church and of the altar boy's Latin responses-Ad Deum qui laetificat juventutem meam. The rape by Father Boyer. The rape's immediate aftermath. Jim's mother's telling him not to say anything about it, and the devastating consequences of her choice of silence.

The book's second part is reportage of Jim's failed marriages, his extra-marital affairs, his obsession with sex and sexual conquest, his successful business career, and his search for meaning and healing in his life. There is tough stuff here. Readers beware.

The last part of the book describes Jim's eventual realization that he needs intervention and support to help him heal. Jim finds help in many places including SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous), a 12-step recovery program modeled after Alcoholics Anonymous. The book ends with hope-Thank God.

This reviewer would have liked the book's second part to be shorter (the rapid changing of female partners became tedious, an unholy litany) and the third part, the hopeful part, to be longer. However, overall, the book enhanced my understanding of how devastating and life-changing childhood sexual abuse can be. When a priest, a trusted servant of God, whom the victim very often looks up to as another God, perpetrates that abuse, the effects have life-long effects. The book makes a strong statement and goes a long way toward answering the question, "Why don't they just get over it?" They can't just get over it because "it" changes you biologically, psychologically, interpersonally, and spiritually. Although perhaps an overstatement, "it" murders your soul.

Rating:
Summary: I couldnt relate but it was well written
Review: First of all, I have to say it takes real guts for Jim Parker to lay out his story in front of the World as he has done. Being a victim of clergy abuse is not something most people want to share freely. Jim obviously feels this can help others and has done just that.

The book is honest, disturbing, thought provoking, easy to understand and eye opening...

This is the story we never hear about victims of clergy abuse. This is the real deal. This is the book the faithful Catholics should be reading. You know, the ones who continue to tithe every week and continue to support a Church which detroys the lives of good people. The ones who turn their back every week on these victims and pretend the problem is "over" because a majority of these lunatics have already been caught.

I personally am a survivor of clergy abuse myself and have to admit, I couldnt relate much to Jim's story. Thats not a bad thing. I guess each one of us is going to have a completely different way of dealing with our abuse. But I bought the book thinking I would relate to it and it could be positive reading for me.

Instead, I walked away thinking many times "I wish my life was that good". Things Jim was describing are things I have longed for since I have been abused. I wont get into those details. But maybe this book isnt for all victims of abuse... or maybe just me.

He also clearly describes the tormenting his memories of abuse brings him. That I CAN relate to. For this, I would recommend this book to anyone wanting to hear a real story of how this can affect the life of a victim. Not what you read in the news paper.