The Surrender : An Erotic Memoir

Rating:
Summary: A real jeans-stretcher.
Review: Reading like a torrential sexual downpour, this book demands the reader's attention. It does not waste time in its major theme, that of the joys of anal sex from a woman's perspective. The language is both raw and poetic, but rarely shocking. Anal sex is not a rare activity with women anymore, even though most men have believed otherwise. Women are not always vocal about their needs and past sexual conquests.

The choreography of anal sex though is very limited, with possibly large deviations in time and positioning. The author made it happen 298 times with her illustrious phantom lover. Her keeping of statistics is admirable. The details of each encounter are with a few exceptions, omitted. It is the pain of the entry, the filling of her butt that gave her pleasure. Her excitement was localized in her anus, and not in her entire body. Not so with her former profession. Ballet requires every body part to be in play, and permits no departure from predefined configurations. But for the author, ballet prepared her for sodomy. For her, anal sex recreated the "physical extremism of dancing." To follow the dictates of the choreographer served as preparation, as maybe lubrication for her eventual acceptance of the male tool in her anus. Ballet training requires that one ignore physical discomfort she says. One could say that she believes that it prepares a woman for the lifting of the derriere and the spreading of the legs.

The author's machinations in the book read more like modern dance, rather than ballet. Rebelling against ballet was its goal. Fatigued and irritated by the structure of classical ballet, the choreographers of modern dance negated its demands, and took full advantage of gravity. The writhing and wincing resulting from anal sex, because of its taboo, its rarity, and its ensuing pain, fits the need exactly for the out-of-equilibrium ethos of modern dance. One can defy convention with anal penetration. It is the realm of the daring, of those who with their backs towards the ceiling, turn their back on the past. New experiences though require frequent indulgences. Some call this addiction. Others call it learning. No propagation of the species results from anal copulation. This gives it further justification in the eyes of the sexual rebel. It is always fun to cheat nature.

For the heterosexual male, this book is to be read in a house with wide corridors. It might be difficult to turn corners after its perusal. The writing is terse but effective. When reading the book, beware of Levis and wear pajamas instead. This reviewer thought of only one thing after finishing the book: how nice it would be hear the thuds of the author's shoes hitting the floor beside his bed.

Rating:
Summary: A Somewhat Interesting, Ok Read
Review: I read a lot about "The Surrender" prior to reading it, but I can't say that I had any specific expectations before reading it. I was intrigued by what I had read, and wondered what the focus of the book would be. Well, the book is about a discovery in Ms. Bentley's life. The discovery is not the joy of anal sex, but Ms. Bentley's joy in being and accepting herself. The book is a quick, easy, and enjoyable read, but I found myself wanting more from it. There was nothing bad about it, but it just didn't seem all that deep or special to me. In the end, it is just a book about a woman who learned a bit about herself.
Anal sex is what makes the book somewhat dangerous and is probably what convinced many readers to buy it, but the book isn't really about sex. Sex serves more as the catalyst to change than anything else. If you're looking for a good, titillating, sex book, look elsewhere.
The bottom line, as it were, is that I enjoyed the book, but when it was all said and done, found myself feeling a little underwhelmed and wanting more.

Rating:
Summary: Bentley truly steps outside the box...
Review: Has all the trappings of a true erotica classic--naughty sex, obsessive protagonist, trampled taboos, etc. Some critics have called the book "self-indulgent," but how does one otherwise write about a subject such as this?

Bentley's story does not have to be accepted, believed, copied, parodied, or rejected, but it truly should be considered.

Rating:
Summary: What the??????????????
Review: I read The Surrender : An Erotic Memoir and have absolutely no idea what to make of it.

On one side, it is a great read. On the other side, the author is off. I have never met the author, but it seems clear that she has issues.

Rating:
Summary: An astonishing honesty
Review: I saw Toni Bentley speak at the West Hollywood Book Fair last month and came away very imptessed with her energy, her wit, her passion, her style and her directness. She told us that she never thought of getting this book published, and described how differently she thought of it as a project than her previous four books, and indeed how she, a former ballerina, thought of herself now as a writer first and a woman second. Then came the man she calls "A-Man" and the rest is erotic history. The moderator asked her if she thought Anais Nin an important influence on her style, and Bentley replied that Nin was one of many who had helped her attain the honesty she sought in writing up her own erotic adventures. She acknowledged that Judith Regan was taking a big chance on a book which, only a few years ago, might never have been published. Some have suggested (she reported) that the success of the French book "Sexual Life of Catherine M' might have been a factor in Regan agreeing to publish her book, and also that the HBO show "Sex in the City" played a part in expanding the boundaries of what women might say and feel in our modern era. The audience hung on her every word.

We were astounded to hear her speak, and her humor and the slight huskiness in her voice made her seem very approachable and a delighful conversationalist. Once I had started reading the book, I could not stop, even though to a certain degree it was a bit repetitive. But there is something Apollonian about Toni Bentley's writing, almost as though the spirit of her former mentor George Balanchine lingered at her elbow, guiding her through the Scylla and Charybidis of porn and erotica. I am looking forward to her next project, something very different she said, a personal memoir of knowing Lincoln Kirstein the balletomane and entrepreneur.

Rating:
Summary: Dark side of the moon
Review: I'm a big proponent of the notion that the world would be a much better place if everyone would just get over the idea that there is such a thing as `normal' when it comes to sex.
Which is why, I am so jazzed about this lovely, funny, erotic, whacked and remarkably honest little book about the pleasures of sodomy. I always wondered what it was about women who enjoyed this particular activity (as opposed to those who do not) and now, damned if I don't have a pretty good idea.
From the surprise hidden under the cover onward, this thing never ceased to amuse me and take my breath away. I guess the lovely Ms. Bentley has more in her than just ballet books.



Rating:
Summary: HURTS SO GOOD
Review: If the way to a woman's heart is through her rectum - to paraphrase Fanny (ouch!) Farmer - it needn't involve humiliation and pain. Masochists like Bentley give anal sex a bad name. The upside is her book is a best-seller. The downside is Ms. Bentley's probably spending her royalty checks on Depends, not "crotch-less underpants".

Rating:
Summary: Backdoor Friends:
Review: It's not the hottest erotic novel around, certainly -- none of these "true story" tell-all books are -- but as far as autobiographical essays go, it's very down and dirty.

A couple of months ago I was reading about the revelations of this anal-sex-addict ballerina in the New York Observer's "The Ballerina Who Bent" ... which tells the tale of a semi-distinguished former member of the prestigious New York City Ballet that has written a memoir about the joys of taking it up the bottom ("The Surrender"). It sounded like an episode of Howard Stern, only with class.

The great thing about the Observer story is how the author, Alexandra Jacobsit, subtly makes the dancer in question, Toni Bentley, seem like she has a neurotic fixation with her former mentor, George Balanchine. I don't think he ever got a piece of her bum, but she drops his name every five minutes.

According to the Observer, both Bentley and plastic-surgery-obsessed porn-celebrity-model-thing Jenna Jameson (who has also written an anal-heavy memoir, "How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale") have only done the back-door with 2 or 3 guys apiece (or so they say in their new not-tell-all-but-tell-lots books), but with the fellows they DID do it with, they did it a LOT. The ballerina babe being especially keen for getting her booty pounded by Mr. Right, as she proves by keeping all her used ass-sex condoms in a "a beautiful, tall, round, hand-painted, Chinese lacquered box."

Sounds like a good, wholesome book, right? And it's a high time for erotic memoirs, what with Melissa P.'s top-selling true-tale a of a teen gone naughty Euro hit, "100 Strokes of the Brush Before Bed", making such a big splash in the U.S. now.

However, after quickly reading through all of the above volumes, I found it was too easy to lose interest halfway through. They're as troubling and pedantic as they are erotic (which is both a supreme plus or minus, depending on what you're looking for). As boring as they are sexy. As clichéd as they are insightful. Bentley is good at delivering exact and potentially humiliating details, however, and her book is brave in that way. And all of these volumes thankfully transcend mere titillation, with Jenna Jameson's book mostly consisting of standard Hollywood-tell-all tidbits, Melissa P. weaving a quick, breezy, and intelligent literary tale, and Bentley baring every inch of her obsession.

A few years ago, Toni Bentley also wrote (among other works) an article in the LA Times all about why the Dance World shouldn't allow affirmative action for Fat Girls: "Counterpunch: Critic's Argument for Heftier Dancers is Thin." It's a serious piece, but I find it quite funny (Quote: "Should round little girls be admitted to professional ballet schools?"). After all, fat girls in tutus are always funny

(This review, which has been excerpted and updated from it's original form, is being posted on Amazon under the legal approval of a Creative Commons License -- material can be used elsewhere so long as the original author and website are credited. Author: Lucas Brachish. (...)

Rating:
Summary: A valuable book, a good read, not for everyone
Review: This book reads well and quickly. Because of its very personal nature, it is engaging. The writing style is also very personal, so it is easy to keep turning the pages, being carried along by the prose. The book is valuable because is touches on so many important topics by manifesting them within the context of a passionate life instead of discussing them intellectually.

Some people, not everyone, hungers for a transcendent experience. Sex, an important part of our humanity, is one avenue to the transendent. This is an important topic that is overlooked.

If sex is a part of our humanity, and anal sex has been practiced across the world and across history, then why is it so suppressed? This is another important topic. If different personalities are suited to different careers, then why not accept the different forms of sexual gratification as valid based on personality differences?

Finally, why do so few people hunger for the transcendent? There is a lot of food for thought in this brave little book. We cannot value nor fulfill our human potential while we are afraid or disrespectful of all our forms of sexuality. This book is more important than many people realize.

Rating:
Summary: Best Book Ever Printed!!
Review: This wasn't just a book...it was a religious experience! Bentley is spot on when she says that her ass is her window to heaven. I feel the exact same way! This work so deeply touched me that I've decided to try and top my old record...number of erect penises inserted in anus simultaneously. I did three once, but now (with inspiration from the book) I shall try four! Thank you Toni Bentley for changing my life!