Rating: 
Summary: If you fit into any of the categories, rush to get this book
Review: Heard and enjoyed the taped version of MARS AND VENUS STARING
OVER by John Gray . . . the subtitle says it all: "A Practical Guide
for Finding Love Again After a Painful Breakup, Divorce or the Loss of
a Loved One."If anybody finds himself or herself in any of those categories, then
rush out to get this book (or the tapes) . . . you'll find a lot of
useful advice. The first third is general information . . . Gray then presents material
relevant to women first, men second . . . I found the latter section
particularly valuable for what it had to say to me. Among the ideas that I got from listening:
* The three steps for healing a broken bone are: getting help, resetting
the bone, and them giving it time to heal by protecting the bone in
a cast. In a similar way, the three steps for healing the heart are:
Step One: Getting help
Step Two: Grieving the loss
Step Three: Becoming whole before getting involved again * [the four healing emotions]
Healing Emotion 1: Anger
Feeling then releasing anger reconnects us to our passion for love and life. Healing Emotion 2: Sadness
Feeling and then releasing sadness opens our hearts to fell the sweetness
of love once again Healing Emotion 3: Fear
Feeling and then releasing fear provides the ability to discern what we need
and can depend on now. Healing Emotion 4: Sorrow
Feeling and then releasing sorrow provides the ability to discern what is
possible. * Another way to process the four healing emotions is simply to ask
yourself these four questions. Often men find this an easier approach
in the beginning. By answering these questions, our healing emotions
automatically begin to come up. While answering these questions,
give yourself permission to feel anger, sadness, fear, sorrow, and any
other similar feelings.
1. What happened?
2. What didn't happen?
3. What could happen?
4. What can't happen? If you wish to explore a little deeper, there are a few more questions you can
ask and answer. QUESTION ONE
What happened that you didn't want to happen?
What is happening that you don't want to happen?
What has happened that you do not like? QUESTION TWO
What didn't happen that you wanted to happen?
What is not happening that you want to happen?
What should have happened? QUESTION THREE
What could happen that you don't want to happen?
What is important to you?
What could happen that you want to happen? QUESTION FOUR
What can't happen that you want to happen?
What can't happen that you wish could have happened?
What can happen that you want to happen? By asking these four questions or practicing the three parts of the feeling
better exercise, you will be better prepared to heal the waves of feeling
that come from your loss. With this technique, you will be able to remember
your partner without having to get stuck in painful feelings. With this insight
and ability, you are free to stay in touch with your feelings and complete
the healing process.
Rating:
Summary: If you fit into any of the categories, rush to get this book
Review: Heard and enjoyed the taped version of MARS AND VENUS STARING
OVER by John Gray . . . the subtitle says it all: "A Practical Guide
for Finding Love Again After a Painful Breakup, Divorce or the Loss of
a Loved One." If anybody finds himself or herself in any of those categories, then
rush out to get this book (or the tapes) . . . you'll find a lot of
useful advice. The first third is general information . . . Gray then presents material
relevant to women first, men second . . . I found the latter section
particularly valuable for what it had to say to me. Among the ideas that I got from listening:
* The three steps for healing a broken bone are: getting help, resetting
the bone, and them giving it time to heal by protecting the bone in
a cast. In a similar way, the three steps for healing the heart are:
Step One: Getting help
Step Two: Grieving the loss
Step Three: Becoming whole before getting involved again * [the four healing emotions]
Healing Emotion 1: Anger
Feeling then releasing anger reconnects us to our passion for love and life. Healing Emotion 2: Sadness
Feeling and then releasing sadness opens our hearts to fell the sweetness
of love once again Healing Emotion 3: Fear
Feeling and then releasing fear provides the ability to discern what we need
and can depend on now. Healing Emotion 4: Sorrow
Feeling and then releasing sorrow provides the ability to discern what is
possible. * Another way to process the four healing emotions is simply to ask
yourself these four questions. Often men find this an easier approach
in the beginning. By answering these questions, our healing emotions
automatically begin to come up. While answering these questions,
give yourself permission to feel anger, sadness, fear, sorrow, and any
other similar feelings.
1. What happened?
2. What didn't happen?
3. What could happen?
4. What can't happen? If you wish to explore a little deeper, there are a few more questions you can
ask and answer. QUESTION ONE
What happened that you didn't want to happen?
What is happening that you don't want to happen?
What has happened that you do not like? QUESTION TWO
What didn't happen that you wanted to happen?
What is not happening that you want to happen?
What should have happened? QUESTION THREE
What could happen that you don't want to happen?
What is important to you?
What could happen that you want to happen? QUESTION FOUR
What can't happen that you want to happen?
What can't happen that you wish could have happened?
What can happen that you want to happen? By asking these four questions or practicing the three parts of the feeling
better exercise, you will be better prepared to heal the waves of feeling
that come from your loss. With this technique, you will be able to remember
your partner without having to get stuck in painful feelings. With this insight
and ability, you are free to stay in touch with your feelings and complete
the healing process.
Rating: 
Summary: Save your Money
Review: I thot the original Venus & Mars book insightful, but I think Gray is riding his own wave with this one. It's a -lot- of padding around a very few (and retreaded) ideas. Nutshell: (1) After a divorce/wife's death, men remarry too quickly, usually within 6-12 months. Mistake. (2) Especially after a divorce, women tend to shy away from relationships, perhaps for years. Unfortunate. (3) This is the nugget I took away from this book (which is why you should save your money!): **Don't get into a relationship until you don't need one.** If you haven't read the original book, get that one, but don't bother with this one.
Rating:
Summary: WHAT - NO MORE STARS?
Review: Life would be so much easier if everyone had a John Gray looking over their shoulder! As a counsellor, I have unending respect for Gray's expertise and success, As a reader, I find his books are a learning experience based on fact and mind-absorbing, leaving much food for thought. Based on my studies in psychology as well as one who did, in fact, start over many years ago, I can honestly say the information this author delivers may well be a lifeline in a turbulent sea of emotion. Considering the high divorce rate, the overwhelming number of relationships ending with the slamming of the door, and the vast number of individuals who experience the death of a partner, Gray's book gives hope and inspires. Grey's advice on focusing on love rather than loss is a first critical step. Denial is not a wonderful thing; acceptance is. With the closing of each door, the opportunity to open another follows. Accept the relationship for however beautiful it was, or wasn't, and move on. Take strength and knowledge from what you have learned and the time you shared together (no matter how long or short,)and use what you have learned to grow. Gray also looks at the differences between a man's reaction and a woman's reaction to starting over. Often, it is difficult for both men and women to trust again, or to simply pur the energy into starting over. By clinging to the past, you could be missing out on a life of happiness. When marriages end (legal or common-law) men often deal with this by attempting to recapture lost youth (depending on age) or by playing the carefree, no-strings-attached guy. Woman, on the other hand, often have a mental list of so many traits they do, or do not, want any future man to have (if indeed they ever want one at all, at this point) that they eliminate 99% of the men on Earth! Much of the frustration stems from our youthful days, of falling in love with an "image" of what we THINK a man or woman should be. Alas, in the real world, there are no perfect people; we all have imperfections and possess both strengths and weaknesses. Nothing in this life lasts forever, and life does not come with a guarantee we will always be happy. Gray's principles can also be applied to those who have lost a partner to death, many are afraid that no matter who they find in the future, they will never measure up to what they had. It is unfair to yourself, to deny yourself happiness in the future. Rest assured, your departed partner would want you to choose happiness over sorrow. Personally, and as a counsellor, if I was asked to recommend a book on starting over that is straight forward and written in plain, simple English everyone can understand, this would definitely be at the top of the list. I simply cannot say enough good words about "Mars and Venus Starting Over" or the author, John Grey; all his books are absolutely priceless. If your relationship is coming to an end, or has already ended, and regardless of gender or age, I highly recommend this valuable, insightful book. It will not only help you to better understand yourself, but will give you a clearer understanding of others.
Rating:
Summary: A wonderful guide, worth reading and rereading
Review: Many books about divorce get as far as "this is a trauma" and "don't hurt the kids," and maybe give you the standard "positive thinking" advice -
but this book goes into emotional machinery, and how to really grow and not just cope. There is much more to this book than a quick blurb can suggest, but one main point is: There are four negative emotions which need to be recognized in dealing with a major loss. These are fear, anger, sadness, and sorrow (grieving for hopes that are now impossible). It is easy to get stuck in one or two of these four, but the one of these we are not aware of is likely to be the hidden hook which is holding us back. He also has a great many practical observations about ways rebounding men and women injure ourselves and others - the first one is that men tend to get involved too soon, and women too late. This is a pop-psychology/self-help book, but don't underrate it - it's got enough to say (at least for divorced people) that I've reread it three times in the last month.
---------------
Rating:
Summary: A wonderful guide, worth reading and rereading
Review: Many books about divorce get as far as "this is a trauma" and "don't hurt the kids," and maybe give you the standard "positive thinking" advice -
but this book goes into emotional machinery, and how to really grow and not just cope. There is much more to this book than a quick blurb can suggest, but one main point is: There are four negative emotions which need to be recognized in dealing with a major loss. These are fear, anger, sadness, and sorrow (grieving for hopes that are now impossible). It is easy to get stuck in one or two of these four, but the one of these we are not aware of is likely to be the hidden hook which is holding us back. He also has a great many practical observations about ways rebounding men and women injure ourselves and others - the first one is that men tend to get involved too soon, and women too late. This is a pop-psychology/self-help book, but don't underrate it - it's got enough to say (at least for divorced people) that I've reread it three times in the last month.
---------------
Rating:
Summary: Here we go again.
Review: The advice he gives men and women is ludicrious.There again
working off sterotypes.No one in this day and age should be
told it's ok to have random sex.Of course he aims this at the
male because it his warped mind only men go on a ramage after
a bad relationship.Women do too but it's left out of the book
because as we all know he believes women are love starved
junkies only craving romantic attention and romance.He also
believes,wrongly,that women are the most hurt,oh yes,that
self worth and waves coming again at the woman.He views women
as somehow half a person without a relationship while a man can
build up himself financially and socially,if not sexually after
a break up.Women are the downtrodden in his view,the victims.
Save the poor little women from themselves is what I hear coming
from him.When it comes to men,he is right there ready for an ego boost saying,you can do it.He comes across as an over
protective father with the women.He has some need to see women
as needy,pathetic love junkies.
Rating:
Summary: A silent best friend in hard times!
Review: The book is wonderfully helpful in reaffirming the absolute normality of anger, depression, fear, and sorrow of a painful divorce, breakup, or loss. It's nice to know that it's OK to feel everything and nothing all at once. From the moment I began to read the pages I felt better. Now I that Dr. Gray has helped me discover the problems, I can tackle them and overcome them and learn how to love and be loved better.
Rating:
Summary: Divorce is not the end but a new beginning.
Review: The most painful and sad time of my life was when I was going through my divorce. Even though it was my decision to end the marriage, my heart literally ached and for months I cried everyday. I wondered, "why am I so sad and upset, this was my decision"...Mars and Venus Starting Over validated my feelings immediately. I learned that my sadness was part of the grieving I needed to go through. John Gray describes beautifully how your mind/head tells you one thing (I am doing the right thing by leaving), but your heart is still in another place. He explains how your head wants your heart to catch up to where your mind is...that's not possible. I learned how to allow myself to feel the pain, sadness, anger and then move on. John Grey also explains the loss of your love support...not only did I miss my husband, but I missed the "safety net" of the love I had every day when I came home. With that suddenly gone I was left with some very raw, painful emotions. I thought I hated my husband for lying, cheating and deceiving me. But through this book I realized I needed to feel those emotions in order to heal properly. I've emotionally forgiven my husband as a way to heal myself. I know I'm better off alone. I know I will find love again. Thank you John Gray!
Rating: 
Summary: It Helped Me.
Review: This book has been tremendously helpful, I have read it multiple times and learn something new every time. I would recommend this book to anyone who has found themselves newly single. It's hard enough to be alone, this book definitely helps explain the feelings.
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