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Rating: 
Summary: FANTASTIC AUTHOR...FANTASTIC BOOK!
Review: First of all, to answer another reviewer's concern about how the author gained his knowledge, John Gray holds a Ph.D. and is extremely well respected around the world in his area of expertise - the psychology of human realtionships. His qualified opinions are not based simply on personal experience or opinion, but on proven, scientific fact and theory. His acclaimed books have been published and sold by the millions, world-wide, in forty languages. Like his renowned book, "Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus" this book is an insightful look into the psychology of the male-female relationship. This one, however, draws on the behaviours before marriage or a commitment has been made. As Grey points out, normally there is a five step sequence of events that takes place when dating: attraction, uncertainty, exclusivity, intimacey and engagement. As a counsellor who has studied psychology and human behaviour, this is one book I have recommended to many couples and received nothing but positive feedback, not once have I heard a negative comment. This author deserves abundant praises for his research, expertise and writing ability. His books are an opportunity for both male and female readers to learn and understand more about themselves and their personal relationships. He adds a slight touch of humour to his unique writing style, and from the very first page, the reader cannot help but feel, "this is a person I can trust." Based on the world-wide success of books, obviously a multitude of other readers around the globe agree. His books are not "sexist" as some believe; they are an actual account based on fact from a psychological perspective. For anyone who complains about the length of the book, a shorter version would not do the book justice. Each page is a key component to the overall picture, and if you fail to see it's purpose, you are missing out on a valuable part of the overall analyis. I highly recommend "Mars and Venus on a Date" to anyone who is dating, regardless of age. Gray has a terrific presentation style and the principles of the book are not limited to any particular age group. Even if you are not currently dating, read the book anyway; it contains some insightful and priceless observations.
Rating: 
Summary: Dating advice for traditional men and women
Review: I borrowed this book from my brother about four years ago. Four years later I have been married for three years and decided to finally read the book. Summary:
The basic idea of the book is that there are five stages to the dating process:
1. Attraction
2. Uncertainty
3. Exclusivity
4. Intimacy
5. Engagement The rest of the book is a collection of insights on how to make relationships successful or how to recognize when it is time to end a relationship. My Comments:
First, I must admit that being involved in a traditional relationship (I am a married heterosexual) the insights in the book seemed fairly relevant and well designed. But, this is also one of the problems I see with the book. The book is designed exclusively for traditional, heterosexual relationships. If you are not a man or a woman looking for someone of the opposite sex to marry, then this isn't the book for you. The ultimate goal, as defined in the book, is marriage. If you are not looking to get married, then this isn't the book for you. The book is written from a very traditional perspective. With the increase in non-traditional relationships (homosexuality, bisexuality, cohabitation, etc.) this book could alienate a lot of people. Also, there are continual references to God throughout the book. These references often coincide with a concept the author calls 'soul mates'. There is a trend in American society away from the traditional view of God, specifically seeing God as an active force in people's lives. As a result, this book could also alienate those people that don't believe in God or don't feel that God is active in their lives. And the idea of soul mates (as Dr. Gray outlines it in the book it is the idea that there is one special person for you out there) is, in my humble opinion, very outdated. Perhaps Dr. Gray isn't arguing that there is only ONE person that you could marry, but he seems to think that there aren't very many - if there is more than one - and that they are hard to find. Another major problem with this approach to relationships is that Dr. Gray presents relationships in a very functional sense. Let me explain... Instead of saying that perhaps the way people approached romantic relationships in the past (pre 1990) may not have been the best way to do it (men calling women, being responsible for everything that takes place, women being receptive rather than aggressive, etc.), Dr. Gray incorporates all of these things into his theory about how relationships and dating are supposed to work. He seems to argue that because these behaviors exist they must be necessary. This is a circular argument from which one cannot escape. They are necessary so they must exist. They exist because they are necessary. I would argue that the traditional dating patterns of bygone ages are outdated and anti-modal. Sure, he offers ideas and thoughts where men and women can change, but he also seems to be arguing that a lot of things should just plain stay the same. I disagree out right with this idea. We live in a different time. I should also mention that the version I read is 370 pages long. It could have been condensed to about 150 pages and still covered everything he wanted to say adequately. On the positive side, because I am in a heterosexual relationship, I did find some of Dr. Gray's insights helpful. However, the one's that I found applicable to my relationship I found by sifting through the broad, sweeping claims he makes about genders and in between comments about how God will help us find our partner and how we can find a soul mate; all of which I thought was worthless trash. Overall, this book would be useful to someone that firmly believes in God, wants a traditional relationship with a woman, and believes that the old way of dating/courting is still the right way. If this describes you (it probably describes over 60% of the U.S. population, meaning Dr. Gray understands there is a market for this type of stuff) then this would be a good book. If you don't meet this criteria, look elsewhere.
Rating: 
Summary: Well intentioned perhaps, but perpetuates oudated attitudes
Review: John Gray offers a sincere attempt to demystify the differences in thinking between men and women (much of his analysis here would seem to be at least largely valid) and to offer insight on how to maximise one's success when dating (his advice here seems flawed and outdated in several areas). His explanation of the different phases of attraction, the differences in the way men and women react to uncertainty provides some comfort by way of convincing explanations for those puzzled by the behaviour of someone of the opposite sex. This I found interesting. But unfortunately the book is heavily gender-biased. According to Gray, it is a man's prerogative to pursue and a woman's role to wait to be pursued. This may seem natural to some degree but he takes it too far. For women, forget ever taking any initiatives, he says, even after several dates. Let the man decide everything and just react as you go along. Take whatever he offers but be careful not to show your interest actively. Some of Gray's "wisdom": Let a man open the car door for you but never, ever reach over to unlock his door. This is a major faux-pas, he says, -- to do so would hurt the man's pride and defeat the purpose of his original gentlemanly gesture. Also, never offer to help a man and never provide advice but be sure to ask him for help and advice (in other words, be careful not to appear too resourceful and try to look helpless whenever possible). Never call a man other than to say hi, and certainly never to suggest you might want to see him (big no-no). He also says a woman's offer to go dutch anytime in the early stages of a relationship is insulting to a man, the reasoning being that the man will take this to mean he should not get his hopes up regarding sex. As a woman, I find the suggestion that allowing yourself to be treated or offering to go dutch (in other words, a question of money) is in any way linked to your "verdict" on the possibility of sex insulting to women. Gray has obviously not considered other possible reasons, such as politeness or wanting to participate as an equal (he fails to suggest that the man can always insist if it's an issue for him). Throughout the book he says dating itself is not about sharing but rather a time for women to focus on receiving from men and for men to focus on providing for a woman's happiness. May sound fine in theory but it seems to me this is too simplistic and not realistic in today's world. The "101 places to find your soulmate" were beyond belief- an excerpt:"#101 - On an airplane, hang out near the restrooms and strike up a conversation while waiting in line (...) be sure to walk up and down the aisles to be seen and to see if your soulmate is there." In short, it's interesting for the explanations of the differences in thinking, but disappointing in terms of dating advice.
Rating: 
Summary: Some Good Advise
Review: Mars and Venus On A Date is indeed a very enriching read. Many but not all romantic relationships do fall into John Gray's five stages of Attraction, Uncertainty, Exclusive, Intimacy, and Marriage. The attraction levels of Physical, Emotional, Intellectual, and Spiritual are explained quite well from both the Venus and Mars perspective. Common arguments are discussed in great detail. Never try to solve a woman's problem and never offer unsolicated advice to a man. Also to either sex, just apologize without making excuses. Admit your faults and the other party will be more forgiving. I don't necesarilly agree with Gray's assessment that a woman should not reach over to open the car door for a man early in the dating process. Truthfully its a minor issue and its not worth the emphasis that it was given. Good emphasis on what men and women need in a partner and their lives. Men like to feel that what they have to offer is needed. Its Ok to use men to a point. Women don't want to have to do it all. They get depressed if they realize that they have to do everything themselves. Some good analysis and common sense. Overall it gets my seal of approval.
Rating: 
Summary: OK at first, then offensive
Review: The first 2/3 of the book was OK, with balanced "points of view" and "how-to's" for both men and women. Some of the information was interesting, explanatory, and useful; some was not. But then the author began giving unbalanced treatment, primarily telling women how they ought to behave and what they ought to say. The message was that a man has a large and fragile ego, and that a woman should support his ego. She should never disagree with him, except "playfully". In public, she should paint him as a white knight, regardless of what really happened. Perhaps it was just the author's writing style, but most of his examples, supposedly of real couples he'd observed or counseled, seemed made-up. Finally, at the end of the book, the author insults the reader's intelligence with an idiotic, redundant, and unnecessary list of 101 places to look for a mate. Very patronizing.
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