Who's on Top, Who's on Bottom: How Couples Can Learn to Share Power

Rating:
Summary: Coooperate! And Make the Choice to Have a Good Marriage!
Review: "So many self-help books.. so little Time...". Make time for this one. I have a bookshelf full of self-help books on how to have better relationships. None of them have been able to broaden and deepen my understanding enough to make a difference. Dr. Schwebel has been able to do this in his book, "Who's on Top..". I am still stunned by how he, using a series of cases (he calls them love stories), explains in painful detail how couples who otherwise love each other deeply, get locked in battle and wreck havoic on each other. He explains how, because of our competitive society, we tend to create competitive environments in our homes and with our loved ones. This sets up sometimes brutal power struggles that can bring down a great marriage. Through detailed love stores he shares with the reader the ways to break free from the power struggles; he explains that to begin on the road to a better relationship couples must agree to share power and cooperate with their loved ones to create more harmony and peace at home. Its not easy -- and he explains that someone has to be the 'big boy' and begin the process of allowing their spouse to work through anger and resentment, or bridge fractured intimacy by acting on feelings of warmth. No, this is not a book that proclaims the "5 steps to a fruitful marriage", but it gives so much more depth and clarity to the person who truly wants to have a good marriage.

Rating:
Summary: grateful
Review: Checked this book out at my library as a last ditch effort to save my relationship. I don't remember exactly why I picked it over the others, but I now consider myself extremely fortunate to have stumbled upon it. Within the first few pages it had nailed with insightful clarity the problem my girlfriend and I were facing. The entire book then went on to prove very valuable. Through the author's enlightened look at real couples whom he personally counseled, he lays out the anatomy of arguments for all to see...the unrealized emotions that drive them, the struggle for control and the resentment for having relinquished one's will.
I don't endorse many things so enthusiastically, but I beleive that this book contains insights that can save relationships. I can say with some certainty that my aforementioned relationship would have crashed and burned without it.
I will also say that this book has value for everyone. You don't have to be in a difficult relationship to appreciate a wonderful picture of how respectful, loving and cooperative relationships should work. Many people I know could learn a lot from this book.