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Rating: 
Summary: What Parents Fear Most
Review: "Warning Signs" by John Kelly w/Brian Karem addresses in an easy-to-read manner, many of the tough questions we face as parents each day. It assists us to read our children's moods and interpret their behavior before more serious events occur.It traces low self-esteem as the basis for various problem behaviors. Like most parents in their forties, we came of age during the drug/sexual revolution. However there's a whole new world of substances and other unhealthy behaviors out there facing our kids each day that we never had to face. This book acts like a road-map to navigate parents through the warning signs of your kids' behavior. What parents fear most is our kids getting lost to addiction and other unhealthy behaviors. What gives me solace is, among other things, the existence of practical guides like this book addressing the underlying reasons to addiction and ways for parents to intervene.
Rating:
Summary: EXCELLENT BOOK...everyone should read this
Review: EXCELLENT BOOK!!!!! Everyone in the world should read this book. Especially if you are a parent, teacher, or counselor. Dr. John Kelly is a psychotherapist, a recovered addict, and a loving father of 3 sons. Dr. Kelly teaches skills to parents, counselors and teachers on how to draw out the child's self-respect and confidence. It is a wonderful book that can be quickly read. It is a must for all people who will raise, counsel or teach children. Dr. Kelly runs his own clinic that specializes in addictions and asserts convincingly that 1) The root cause of all addictions and most violence is low self-esteem. Long before the addictions begin (whether the addiction is alcohol, drugs, gambling, compulsive clean "freaks", craving excessive attention, codependent relationships, bulimia, anorexia, or overachieving, etc.) low self-esteem was firmly in place and began developing in early childhood. Whatever the addiction, a drink or purging, etc., is used to anesthetize the person's feelings of low self-esteem. 2) Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem can be manifested in children as young as 5 and 6 years old. Teens as young as 11 and 12 have been found to contemplate suicide b/c of low self-esteem. 3) Low self-esteem is epidemic in our society. Low Self-Esteem should be classified as a "disease" and is the largest health problem facing the United States. It hits well educated and poorly educated people as well as rich and poor individuals. It does not discriminate. 4) CHILDREN NEED TO EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS, ESPECIALLY FEELINGS OF ANGER. They need a healthy outlet to feel and express their pain. Anger is usually a companion of Low Self-Esteem. If internalized, the anger can lead to depression, or addictions, or psychosomatic illness, such as asthma, intense headaches, ulcers, hypertension, etc. It can also lead to violence as the child gets older. THE GREATEST SINGLE SOURCE OF ANGER AMONG MANY OF THE CHILDREN WHO BECAME DANGEROUS CRIMINALS IS THAT THEIR PARENTS (SPECIFICALLY FATHERS, FOR MOST BOYS) WERE NOT AROUND. 5) Proper vigilant parenting is essential in raising children who will possess high self-esteem. Recent studies have shown that on average, mothers spend 11 min/day of "quality time" with their children, and fathers 8 min/day. There is no such thing as "quality time". The "quality" is found in the "quantity of time" you spend with your children. Apathetic parents who put more emphasis on material wealth for their children forget that children "want" material things, but "need" parental "quality time"... Children NEED love, attention, interest, affection MORE than they need the newest Sony Playstation 2 or computers or computer games. 6) Boys need their fathers, and girls need their mothers. Children need both parents. 7) Parents should never yell at their children, nor physically, emotionally or sexually abuse their children. They must not be demanding "perfection," nor be an "enabling" parent, nor "apathetic". GET THIS BOOK. YOU WON'T BE SORRY!!!
Rating:
Summary: EXCELLENT BOOK...everyone should read this
Review: EXCELLENT BOOK!!!!! Everyone in the world should read this book. Especially if you are a parent, teacher, or counselor. Dr. John Kelly is a psychotherapist, a recovered addict, and a loving father of 3 sons. Dr. Kelly teaches skills to parents, counselors and teachers on how to draw out the child's self-respect and confidence. It is a wonderful book that can be quickly read. It is a must for all people who will raise, counsel or teach children. Dr. Kelly runs his own clinic that specializes in addictions and asserts convincingly that 1) The root cause of all addictions and most violence is low self-esteem. Long before the addictions begin (whether the addiction is alcohol, drugs, gambling, compulsive clean "freaks", craving excessive attention, codependent relationships, bulimia, anorexia, or overachieving, etc.) low self-esteem was firmly in place and began developing in early childhood. Whatever the addiction, a drink or purging, etc., is used to anesthetize the person's feelings of low self-esteem. 2) Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem can be manifested in children as young as 5 and 6 years old. Teens as young as 11 and 12 have been found to contemplate suicide b/c of low self-esteem. 3) Low self-esteem is epidemic in our society. Low Self-Esteem should be classified as a "disease" and is the largest health problem facing the United States. It hits well educated and poorly educated people as well as rich and poor individuals. It does not discriminate. 4) CHILDREN NEED TO EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS, ESPECIALLY FEELINGS OF ANGER. They need a healthy outlet to feel and express their pain. Anger is usually a companion of Low Self-Esteem. If internalized, the anger can lead to depression, or addictions, or psychosomatic illness, such as asthma, intense headaches, ulcers, hypertension, etc. It can also lead to violence as the child gets older. THE GREATEST SINGLE SOURCE OF ANGER AMONG MANY OF THE CHILDREN WHO BECAME DANGEROUS CRIMINALS IS THAT THEIR PARENTS (SPECIFICALLY FATHERS, FOR MOST BOYS) WERE NOT AROUND. 5) Proper vigilant parenting is essential in raising children who will possess high self-esteem. Recent studies have shown that on average, mothers spend 11 min/day of "quality time" with their children, and fathers 8 min/day. There is no such thing as "quality time". The "quality" is found in the "quantity of time" you spend with your children. Apathetic parents who put more emphasis on material wealth for their children forget that children "want" material things, but "need" parental "quality time"... Children NEED love, attention, interest, affection MORE than they need the newest Sony Playstation 2 or computers or computer games. 6) Boys need their fathers, and girls need their mothers. Children need both parents. 7) Parents should never yell at their children, nor physically, emotionally or sexually abuse their children. They must not be demanding "perfection," nor be an "enabling" parent, nor "apathetic". GET THIS BOOK. YOU WON'T BE SORRY!!!
Rating:
Summary: Warning Signs
Review: John Kelly makes key points when he reminds his readers that adolescents have not fully matured emotionally. Parents need to help their children through their emotional growth. Parents are helping their children when they keep a close watch on them and also when they provide behavioral boundaries such as strict curfews, appropriate activities and guidance in selecting friends. The book is well written, with many case studies. It is a quick but important read.
Rating:
Summary: Warning Signs
Review: John Kelly makes key points when he reminds his readers that adolescents have not fully matured emotionally. Parents need to help their children through their emotional growth. Parents are helping their children when they keep a close watch on them and also when they provide behavioral boundaries such as strict curfews, appropriate activities and guidance in selecting friends. The book is well written, with many case studies. It is a quick but important read.
Rating:
Summary: Warning Signs
Review: This is a book that anyone can read and feel a sense of understanding about. Mr. Kelly hits the nail on the head w/ regards to self esteem and its relationship to the addictive process. I also like how he gives examples throughout the book as identifiers. As a therapist in the addictions/eap field I have suggested this book on more that one occasion to individuals coming in to discuss the concerns for their children. It speaks to the lay person in common sense language and guides them on a path that can be difficult but will pay benefits in healthier family relations and children who will have improved skills to navigate the many obstacles to becoming productive individuals.
Rating:
Summary: Reading the Warning Signs
Review: Warning Signs by John Kelly and Brian J. Karem is a must- read for parents in this demanding and fast paced world where nurture and love are essential for developing a healthy value system for childhood development. Easy to read and chocked full of common sense based on years of counseling troubled children and their parents, Kelly gives practical advice and sets priorities where they should be. Those of us who have children intrinsically know we should spend time with them and that building self esteem pays untold dividends in the future. Our actions as well as our words convey messages that our children pick up on and listening to what they say is vital. When something cataclysmic happens most of us turn to see if our loved ones are unharmed. As parents time invested with our children ought to be our first priority rather than the more superficial goals we chase each day. Thanks, John for the advice. Frank Adamson Retired Chief of Criminal Investigations King County Sheriffs Department
Seattle, Washington.
Rating:
Summary: Reading the Warning Signs
Review: Warning Signs by John Kelly and Brian J. Karem is a must- read for parents in this demanding and fast paced world where nurture and love are essential for developing a healthy value system for childhood development. Easy to read and chocked full of common sense based on years of counseling troubled children and their parents, Kelly gives practical advice and sets priorities where they should be. Those of us who have children intrinsically know we should spend time with them and that building self esteem pays untold dividends in the future. Our actions as well as our words convey messages that our children pick up on and listening to what they say is vital. When something cataclysmic happens most of us turn to see if our loved ones are unharmed. As parents time invested with our children ought to be our first priority rather than the more superficial goals we chase each day. Thanks, John for the advice. Frank Adamson Retired Chief of Criminal Investigations King County Sheriffs Department
Seattle, Washington.
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