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Rating: 
Summary: Hate to be the lone dissenting voice here...
Review: ...but the book was a wee bit of a disappointment for me.On one hand, it is an intimate and endearing record of one woman's experience with an Alzheimer's parent. Sherry was the kind of daughter every mother would be proud of and grateful for. She stood by her mother through the whole experience and provided support in every way. And that was my favorite part of this book - the story of how Sherry handled different problems and remained her mother's number one cheerleader and support. But as far as the practical wisdom I could glean from the book - there was not enough of that for me. The book is a quick read - and I found the second part of the book a little slow and impractical. The treasure bag was a cute idea, but not one that would be useful in our circumstances. Of this type of book, I'd more highly recommend "The Alzheimer's sourcebook for caregivers" by Frena Gray Davidson. That book was a little more polished and had more tidbits and details on getting through the day when the depression and exhaustion starts to swamp you. "Visiting Mom" is an important book and has received glowing reviews from everyone here - so maybe it will be the book that speaks right to your heart. But other than a few lines here and there, it was not the book for me.
Rating: 
Summary: Extremely good place to start
Review: I am a psychiatrist who has referred this book to many families to help provide examples and insights regarding the care of parents with dementia. This is not a "perfect" book with cookbook instructions of what to do and when to do it. This is initially a painfully frank discussion of the author's experiences with her mother's illness and the author's ambivalence regarding the illness. The latter portions of the book offer examples of strategies in dealing with parents with dementias, with dealing with emotional reactions to parents, and with dealing with the institutional resources often encountered. As Rosethorn notes in her excellent 4star review, it is a quick read and isn't universal in approach or application to the plight of parents with dementia and their children's reactions. Yet the examples can be a good starting place to formulate more appropriate and specific strategies in individual situations.
Rating:
Summary: Extremely good place to start
Review: I am a psychiatrist who has referred this book to many families to help provide examples and insights regarding the care of parents with dementia. This is not a "perfect" book with cookbook instructions of what to do and when to do it. This is initially a painfully frank discussion of the author's experiences with her mother's illness and the author's ambivalence regarding the illness. The latter portions of the book offer examples of strategies in dealing with parents with dementias, with dealing with emotional reactions to parents, and with dealing with the institutional resources often encountered. As Rosethorn notes in her excellent 4star review, it is a quick read and isn't universal in approach or application to the plight of parents with dementia and their children's reactions. Yet the examples can be a good starting place to formulate more appropriate and specific strategies in individual situations.
Rating:
Summary: Great ideas to help the visiting-challenged among us!
Review: I loved this book--I was able to put these strategies to use immediately and make my life less stressful! It was so helpful in providing me with ways to make my visits to the nursing home meaningful and positive. I've also used the advice in this book with hospitalized friends and family, and visiting the elderly who don't have Alzheimers. The author writes in such an engaging, sharing way. I found the book to be thoughtful and uplifting, while full of information to benefit both the visitor and visitee. Highly recommended!
Rating:
Summary: You aren't alone
Review: One of the most painful elements of dealing with illness in a family member, especially a parent, is the feeling that no one else understands, no one else knows or cares what you're going through. For that reason alone, Sherry Bell's book is worth reading, as she provides her touching, often funny, often painful story of her mother's struggle with Alzheimers. Even more valuable, however, are Bell's generalized comments on pain and loss, which will move and inspire anyone who is watching a loved one slip away.
Rating:
Summary: Valuable, practical guide to caring for Alzheimer's parent
Review: Sherry Bell's Visiting Mom is a practical guide to caring for a person with Alzheimer's, including coping with the difficult decision to institutionalize a parent. Sherry's concern for her mother's well-being and happiness is evident throughout the book, and she offers some very specific suggestions for making the visit more productive and more pleasant for all members of the family. Her agonizing over the ultimate decision to put her mother in a nursing home is a reminder that this action induces guilt in everyone, no matter how hard they have worked to maintain a good quality of life and to look out for the parent's best interests. The suggestion to create a Memory Book was a particularly strong one, one that would give the patient something to focus on, and would help the caregiver direct the conversation toward topics that give the patient pleasure. I also liked the suggestion that tapes of music be used to calm the patient and help them reminisce about happy times in their life. I wish this book had been available when one of my family was first diagnosed with Alzheimer's several years ago. This disease was new to us, and we expected some general confusion and slowing down, but did not know other symptoms that characterized the disease - the paranoia, the sense that people are stealing from them, the hiding of objects. This book is a fully realistic look at the progression of the disease, and would be extremely helpful for people caring for newly diagnosed patients. I recommend it highly.
Rating:
Summary: Valuable, practical guide to caring for Alzheimer's parent
Review: Sherry Bell's Visiting Mom is a practical guide to caring for a person with Alzheimer's, including coping with the difficult decision to institutionalize a parent. Sherry's concern for her mother's well-being and happiness is evident throughout the book, and she offers some very specific suggestions for making the visit more productive and more pleasant for all members of the family. Her agonizing over the ultimate decision to put her mother in a nursing home is a reminder that this action induces guilt in everyone, no matter how hard they have worked to maintain a good quality of life and to look out for the parent's best interests. The suggestion to create a Memory Book was a particularly strong one, one that would give the patient something to focus on, and would help the caregiver direct the conversation toward topics that give the patient pleasure. I also liked the suggestion that tapes of music be used to calm the patient and help them reminisce about happy times in their life. I wish this book had been available when one of my family was first diagnosed with Alzheimer's several years ago. This disease was new to us, and we expected some general confusion and slowing down, but did not know other symptoms that characterized the disease - the paranoia, the sense that people are stealing from them, the hiding of objects. This book is a fully realistic look at the progression of the disease, and would be extremely helpful for people caring for newly diagnosed patients. I recommend it highly.
Rating:
Summary: The personal vignettes touched me deeply
Review: Throughout the book Sherry Bell shares personal heartache and laughter in the personal vignettes. I looked forward to these as I read. They provided a most effective way of 'showing' someone who has not had a family member or friend with Alzheimer's, glimpses of life dealing with this condition. My heart was right with her all the way to the last page of the book. This is a valuable read for everyone.
Rating:
Summary: An uncertain future, with a flashlight for guidence
Review: Wow, what a book now written! No only are practical suggestions given but the heart of a daughter's love is woven throughout this book. Obviously this mother/daughter relationship is close, as is ours. I read, with tears falling, some of the observations of her mother changing. I related it to what my dear grandma is now going thru. Soon, our family will know what the Drs. have in their files about my grandma. I want to share this book with my mom yet I'm waiting for just the right time...there will be one. I have been taken on a journey as I absorbed this book. I now have a better understanding of what may come, of what I should expect. The appendix in the back is a wealth of information to pursue over time. The service Ms. Bell has provided is too great for words! For families watching a loved one failing mentally...this is a must read. It shows compassion and practicality. Obviously, written by a loving daughter. The glimpse of "Visiting Mom" is indeed a gift. Thank you!
Rating:
Summary: An uncertain future, with a flashlight for guidence
Review: Wow, what a book now written! No only are practical suggestions given but the heart of a daughter's love is woven throughout this book. Obviously this mother/daughter relationship is close, as is ours. I read, with tears falling, some of the observations of her mother changing. I related it to what my dear grandma is now going thru. Soon, our family will know what the Drs. have in their files about my grandma. I want to share this book with my mom yet I'm waiting for just the right time...there will be one. I have been taken on a journey as I absorbed this book. I now have a better understanding of what may come, of what I should expect. The appendix in the back is a wealth of information to pursue over time. The service Ms. Bell has provided is too great for words! For families watching a loved one failing mentally...this is a must read. It shows compassion and practicality. Obviously, written by a loving daughter. The glimpse of "Visiting Mom" is indeed a gift. Thank you!
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