Rating: 
Summary: Haven't read the book yet, but...
Review: I haven't read the book yet, but I did read an excerpt which said something about using cohabitation as a pre-marriage test of compatibility. I can tell you from personal experience - cohabitation does not prepare you for marriage. My soon-to-be ex husband and I lived together for 10 years before we married in our early 30's. Less than three years in, he came home one night and said he wanted a divorce. We never even had a fight. He said he had been unhappy for 18 months (told me it was work stress...) - that's over half the marriage! No kids, thank God. You never know. If you have doubts, don't do it. Breaking up is much easier than divorcing. I am interested in reading the book. For the longest time I tried to figure out "why" - one criticism of the book is that she doesn't offer solutions - I've accepted that I will never know why, and that it really doesn't matter why. I'm thinking cohabitation INSTEAD of marriage, especially if you don't plan to have children.
Rating: 
Summary: Get married only if you know he/she is the one
Review: I really did not like this book it just simply talks about being married and it just fails there is no way to work it out just divorce and say Yeah I got divorced so I lied to the Preacher. The author got married at 27 and divorced at 28 and now thinks everybody who is in there 20's is going to make that same mistake. When are people going to learn getting married is not a game it is a serious commitment in life probably the most important thing you'll ever do. In today's times people who have no buisness being together are getting married and get out in 12 months because they are bored and simply do not understand what marriage is all about that is the number one problem in this country today.
Rating: 
Summary: Reviewer missed the point
Review: I saw a review for this book in a magazine and it described me exactly, so I thought I should check it out. I am a 29 year-old single female, and am surrounded by MARRIED PEOPLE. All of my friends are married. All of my co-workers are married or engaged. I feel like I am the only single person on this planet, and just as she describes in the book, I feel social pressures because of it. The last thing I want to do is get married (to the wrong person) just because everyone else is married. This book has a LOT of facts, statistics, and quotes from other sources... Pamela Paul is more of an expert on research than relationships, and the sheer volume of percentages and numbers in this book can be annoying. However, it's very interesting to read the real-life accounts of how people felt before they got married, and how they realized later that there were warning signs that they had been ignoring. It was very helpful to know that others feel the same societal pressure that you NEED TO GET MARRIED, and it taught me that I need to make sure I don't bow to the pressure, or I'll end up in an un-happy marriage like so many of my "married" friends. There's also alot in the book about recovering from divorce (i.e. the stigma that goes along with being divorced), which I did not find particularly useful since I'm not divorced. All in all, a good read and worth the money in my opinion. It's not a book that I think I'll need to keep and refer to again, so I may give it away to someone else who needs it.
Rating: 
Summary: An interesting read
Review: I saw a review for this book in a magazine and it described me exactly, so I thought I should check it out. I am a 29 year-old single female, and am surrounded by MARRIED PEOPLE. All of my friends are married. All of my co-workers are married or engaged. I feel like I am the only single person on this planet, and just as she describes in the book, I feel social pressures because of it. The last thing I want to do is get married (to the wrong person) just because everyone else is married. This book has a LOT of facts, statistics, and quotes from other sources... Pamela Paul is more of an expert on research than relationships, and the sheer volume of percentages and numbers in this book can be annoying. However, it's very interesting to read the real-life accounts of how people felt before they got married, and how they realized later that there were warning signs that they had been ignoring. It was very helpful to know that others feel the same societal pressure that you NEED TO GET MARRIED, and it taught me that I need to make sure I don't bow to the pressure, or I'll end up in an un-happy marriage like so many of my "married" friends. There's also alot in the book about recovering from divorce (i.e. the stigma that goes along with being divorced), which I did not find particularly useful since I'm not divorced. All in all, a good read and worth the money in my opinion. It's not a book that I think I'll need to keep and refer to again, so I may give it away to someone else who needs it.
Rating:
Summary: disappointed reader
Review: I was disappointed with the book. It read like a long magazine piece, something belonging in a woman's magazine. It didn't seem like the writer really interviewed 60 couples - she only mentions about 10 people throughout the book that she actually interviewed. She quotes twentysomething men and women that were quoted by other writers in other articles and books. A lot of her points are actually the points of other writers on this issue, and then she just footnotes the source of the idea or quote. Also, I felt like she was biased - just b/c she married at 27 and divorced at 28 she thinks "young" marriages are doomed, and she doesn't give us any examples of successful marriages among twentysomethings, or constructive suggestions as to how to make a marriage work. Parts of the book were interesting, but I wanted fuller portraits of the people she interviewed, and deeper analysis, because this book just seemed like one long magazine piece.
Rating:
Summary: Lots of unsubstantiated, but nonetheless true, assertions
Review: I was surprised by how vague Paul's points seem to be. I understand that the issue of matrimony is a complicated one, but Paul offers few specific points as to why young marriages fail and is inconclusive about what to do about the problem. She points out over and over again that her examples of starter marriages encompass all races, creeds, socioeconomic and educational backgrounds--as well as all ages up to 30. The message I took from this was that no one is safe and no union can last. I thought it was a one-sided investigation and pessimistic observation without enough proof to make me buy into the message.
Rating:
Summary: Vague and Depressing
Review: I was surprised by how vague Paul's points seem to be. I understand that the issue of matrimony is a complicated one, but Paul offers few specific points as to why young marriages fail and is inconclusive about what to do about the problem. She points out over and over again that her examples of starter marriages encompass all races, creeds, socioeconomic and educational backgrounds--as well as all ages up to 30. The message I took from this was that no one is safe and no union can last. I thought it was a one-sided investigation and pessimistic observation without enough proof to make me buy into the message.
Rating:
Summary: I've recommended this to all my clients.
Review: I'm a media consultant, and specialize in Talk Radio.
Too often, Talk Radio is TOO BORING...50-something white male political blowhards with the same-old-same-old blah, blah, blah.
But I'm recommending this book and its author to all the hosts I coach. Its message resonates, and its author has walked-the-walk.
And, when I read her book, I saw three years of my life.
Rating:
Summary: Cautionary tales (that you can't put down)
Review: If I had read this before I got married, maybe I wouldn't have gone ahead and tied the knot for ALL THE WRONG REASONS (and ended up divorced). Given the failure rate of marriages, I feel like people need to go in with their eyes open, not squeezed shut and just, like, hoping for the best. Tough as it is to read--I mean emotionally--this book should be required reading for engaged couples.
Rating:
Summary: Lots of unsubstantiated, but nonetheless true, assertions
Review: If more of Paul's assertions were substantiated by research (only about half are), I would give this book five stars. Even as it is, her assertions ring so true to me that not having footnotes corroborating her points is utterly forgiveable. Both her descriptions of society at large and her theories of individual reasoning behind decisions are recognizable to me and apply to my own life experiences and decisionmaking processes. This book is excellent for both young divorcees, to help understand what happened and where to go from here, and for not-yet-marrieds, like me, who are wondering how to make the first marriage be the lifelong and the last one. It's a quick read, and I really didn't expect it to ring as true as it does, on so many levels. Highly recommended.
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