Rating: 
Summary: sad, if anything
Review: (The "3 stars" is not an actual evaluation; it was a required field that needed to be completed to convey the rest of the message)
This is actually a review of the reviewers. I noticed that reviewers from Nashville and Denver managed to give personal testimonies that had too many word-for-word identical phrases too be accounted for by coincidence. It smells like a scam to me... like some author or PR person is doing promotion. If these are actually to separate readers with no conflict of interest, and you actually want to help other potential readers, I invite you to identify yourselves--and at least one of you needs to take the time to use your own words if you want to actually share your own perspective. Actually, if you are the author or a PR person masquerading as a reader, I also invite you to idetnify your self.
Rating: 
Summary: Is there some reason the book can't stand on its own merits?
Review: (The "3 stars" is not an actual evaluation; it was a required field that needed to be completed to convey the rest of the message)
This is actually a review of the reviewers. I noticed that reviewers from Nashville and Denver managed to give personal testimonies that had too many word-for-word identical phrases too be accounted for by coincidence. It smells like a scam to me... like some author or PR person is doing promotion. If these are actually to separate readers with no conflict of interest, and you actually want to help other potential readers, I invite you to identify yourselves--and at least one of you needs to take the time to use your own words if you want to actually share your own perspective. Actually, if you are the author or a PR person masquerading as a reader, I also invite you to idetnify your self.
Rating:
Summary: Another point of view
Review: A book - yes. A good book? Marginal. Recommended - Well I bought this one for my wifey so Yes. While Ms Evans is absolutely correct with it is not your fault, she neglects, to the point of male bashing, an entire gender. Our society has become one of "It's the man's fault. Burn him at the stake. Poor poor me." I read somewhere that men abuse with violence, women abuse with emotions. Both are just as deadly to a relationship. In the Bible I learned that even though Man has invented many hideous weapons with which to wage war, the tongue remains the mightiest of all. Though small in size, it can shred the heart of someone you love dearly. This book is yet one more example of finger pointing without looking into the mirror. There is no excuse for domestic violence. I have tried them all and they don't work. Ladies, you would do better investing your money in professional counseling. Some churches offer low or no fee counseling as well. Men, pull your head out of your okeles and take a long look in the mirror. Then smack some sense into yourselves. You want to abuse someone, goto the gym and abuse yourself. The wife and kids are not punching bags. Finally, by the merciful grace of God alone, my wife and I are learning to love each other again.
Rating: 
Summary: Change Your Life
Review: A book that helps the reader to find some very valuable answers.
Rating:
Summary: EYE OPENING
Review: After reading this book I realized that I too had been in a verbally abusive relationship. Athough I have been divorced from my abuser for close to 5 years this book made me realized that the way he treated me was not my fault and that there was nothing I could have done to make him change. I've lived these 5 years thinking that I had failed in my marriage Thank The GODS I found this. My road to recovery has been paved. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is presently or who was in an abusive relationship. Its not our fault.
Rating:
Summary: Is This Book For Me?
Review: Almost a year ago I realized that what I had been experiencing from my husband was emotional, phsycological, abuse and later on, I happened upon this book. I ordered it and while awaiting it's arrival, I was questioning myself as to was this book really aimed at what I had been going through, after all, there was NO name calling. I immediately went to the back cover for more insight to the content of the book, when it came, and it asked several questions concerning your relationship. I knew after the first two, this book was for me and still is. There are so many types of and methods of verbal abuse that are so subtle, you wonder if the abuser is even smart enough to know what they are doing, but to my amazement and relief, I saw myself on almost every page. I am now proceeding in going through with a divorce, not as a result of this book, that my husband has eluded to wanting for the past year but won't follow through because he never wants to look like the "bad guy", too late. This book has been very useful in helping me to realize that I had lost my "self" and respect for and that in no way could I ever hope to regain any self respect or find me again as long as I stayed in this situation, not to mention what I was modeling to my children, which was in no way healthy. I must say, since I started standing up for myself and calling my husband on every lie he told, the abuse worsened as the need to control what was slipping away became stronger, he has been mad at me ever since I stopped believing all his put downs and promises I knew would never come to pass...........Oh well, I feel great about myself again even though divorce is never fun. This book gave me the courage to stand up for what was right and true by putting my life in print for me to see. The realization was phenominal and I'll be forever grateful. If you have the slightest suspiscion, get it, you have nothing to lose but everything to gain!
Rating:
Summary: sad, if anything
Review: Almost working as a lengthy footnote to her original book, "The Verbally Abusive Relationship", "Survivors Speak Out" is 100% geared toward women; a quality which the author freely admits in the introduction, and which is the very quality that makes it ultimately questionable and sometimes downright dangerous. The segments which are primarily quotes from survivors of verbal/emotional abuse are both sad and moving. We hear of women who are just beginning to start their lives again after living with a bully for 40 years. Others are much too young, only beginning to discover a sense of self and inner strength after marrying to essentially escape parental rule. Their pain and misery comes across on paper like bolts. What hurts more here, are the constant sexist, male-bashing comments attended thereto by Evans. She still refuses to back away from her stance that abuse is perpetrated 99% of the time by men against women, and still asserts that abusive behavior is not borne of psychological issues or childhood dysfunction in which gender is not an issue, but of a patriarchal plot to destroy all women, and after awhile it is as laughable as it is annoying. She claims in this book that it's abusive when a man asks aloud to no one in particular, "Where are my keys?". It gets to the point where no sentence uttered by a man is without abusive, controlling intent, whereas Evans's ideals of mutuality in relationships adds up to nothing more than a completely unrealistic, enmeshed love fantasy. By her theories, all men have an innate, uncontrollable desire to oppress and control women, and this is patently abusrd, as well as highly misandrous. Evans seems to present a very good model and description, and categorization of what abuse is, albeit highly peppered with a lethal dose of venemous 1970's radical feminism, the kind of feminism that empowers women by blaming men. At no point in the book does she ever examine a man's opinion of the relationship, unless they are writing in to "confess" that they have been abusive. No, no one brings abuse upon themselves, and no victim is to blame for having suffered it. But Evans preaches hate, teaches to rage back ("Stop It NOW!"), and remain stuck in victimhood forever, rather than discovering personal power and self-esteem. A quick surf through the FAQ in this book (and her own online message board) reveals that Evans is incapable of, or refuses to address any legitimate challenge to her theories, and any dissenting opinion or close examination of her theories (which crumble easily under close inspection) are quickly deemed "abuse". By this book, Evans has in a way created her very own language, where everyone has to carefully measure every word chosen, and where no man can open his mouth once without being accused of abuse. Her drooling followers are legion; angry, aggressive, blaming. I would encourage extreme caution in reading this book. It tells very clearly what abuse is, but hasn't a clue as to what to do about it.
Rating:
Summary: Easy to read and understand and very informative
Review: As a therapist working with domestic violence, I make The verbally abusive relationship a must. It explains the essential components of abuse with easy to grasp examples that demonstrate the difference between mutuality and power over.
Rating:
Summary: Educational - it opened my eyes
Review: At the advise of a counselor, I read this book. I had been living this for all of my married life.Over and over I could relate to what others had experienced.
Not only did I become aware of why I felt like I did, I also became aware of how I was abusive to others. Abuse is such a subtle thing, and most of us never realize what we are doing to other people. I think especially when we are trying to protect and defend our own self from such abuse, it is easy to fall into
the trap of abusing.
I'm so thankful to have read this book. Several friends have read it also. It has helped our personal lives, and in some cases our marriages to get better.
Rating:
Summary: A much-needed book
Review: Evans' book brings to light a serious problem in relationships, especially for inviduduals who know something is terribly wrong but have no name for what they suffer. The letters from survivors are vivid, the descriptions of their situations all too clear to someone who has lived in abusive situation. This important book also has firm action plans for recovery, giving hope for the future
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