Rating: 
Summary: Interesting idea, weak execution
Review: Unfortunately, this book does a poor job of bridging a gap in marital therapy self-help books. It seems a pity that there is little, if any, information out there covering the territory between books on how to save your marriage and those on how to divorce. Thus, I had high hopes to get a fresh perspective when ordering this book. What a disappointment. The basic idea of a planned separation is an interesting one, and probably helpful in some (perhaps many) situations. But this book is so poorly written that it takes a strong stomach indeed to wade through it. Filled with cutesy acronyms and psychobabble jingles, be sure to have a barf bag nearby. And the book sorely needs reworking by a competent editor to pare down her blatant and transparent self-promotion. Seinfeld could do a great episode lampooning the author- she comes through as a pathetically insecure person who can't separate her needs from those of her patients. More space is wasted on her bragging than practical (or even theoretical) advice. If her painfully self-referential style and anecdotes had some substance it would be OK, but one ends up feeling like the person deriving the most benefit from the book is the author. Perhaps the only one. But It's even more frightening to think of her attempting to function as a therapist. Scary. Somebody stop her before she writes again!
Rating: 
Summary: Wonderful!
Review: What a joy to read! A wonderful, much needed book that reads effortlessly.If you are stuck in that agonizing dilemma of "should I stay or should I leave" your marriage, here is a book that provides a clear roadmap to help you make that decision. Using an innovative approach called "Controlled Separation," couples are provided with both the knowledge and tools to make one of life's most difficult decisions. Without moralizing, and through illustrative stories of real couples, Lee Raffel empathically guides the reader through the maze of confusion to the light at the end of the tunnel. Constance Ahrons, Ph.D., Professor and Director, MFT Program, College of Letters, Arts and Science: Sociology, University of Southern California
Rating:
Summary: Wonderful!
Review: What a joy to read! A wonderful, much needed book that reads effortlessly. If you are stuck in that agonizing dilemma of "should I stay or should I leave" your marriage, here is a book that provides a clear roadmap to help you make that decision. Using an innovative approach called "Controlled Separation," couples are provided with both the knowledge and tools to make one of life's most difficult decisions. Without moralizing, and through illustrative stories of real couples, Lee Raffel empathically guides the reader through the maze of confusion to the light at the end of the tunnel. Constance Ahrons, Ph.D., Professor and Director, MFT Program, College of Letters, Arts and Science: Sociology, University of Southern California
Rating:
Summary: Tried traditional marriage therapy? NOW read this.
Review: You know that you are in an unhealthy relationship. And, you have repeatedly PROVEN you cannot work it out under the same roof. But you don't want a divorce. And you don't want things to stay the same.... Whoah: There is another option to those 2 extremes! CONTROLLED separation. {Note: 2 Marriage therapists got rich off us & FAILED us because they lacked this vision. To them: PLEASE READ THIS BOOK. Can't hurt to add to your repetoire!} This book helped me break that paralyzing fear of staying 10 more years VS. cutting all ties & being suddenly alone. It gives you structure. You work out your own contract, with or without therapists. Once apart, you can conduct a productive exploration of your self & your relationship. And talk to each other as you decide, on a VERY limited schedule, to see how it is going. No fault finding, no blaming. (We each have therapists and support groups on the wagon for this venting.) Read chapter "My Marriage is Making Me Sick" first. Then, read the "Differences between trial and controlled sep.". This was better for my husband's attention span. Then, he was hooked. Then get a 6 month lease somewhere. If you have a verbally/emotionally distant, abusive or very insensitive mate,
this may mean PEACE for you the 1st time in years. THE GOAL IS: Happy, healthy reunification. But -- If nothing else, this approach lets you KNOW you tried EVERYTHING you could before divorcing. And you learn how to avoid similarly BAD partner match-ups for the future.
Rating:
Summary: Tried traditional marriage therapy? NOW read this.
Review: You know that you are in an unhealthy relationship. And, you have repeatedly PROVEN you cannot work it out under the same roof. But you don't want a divorce. And you don't want things to stay the same.... Whoah: There is another option to those 2 extremes! CONTROLLED separation. {Note: 2 Marriage therapists got rich off us & FAILED us because they lacked this vision. To them: PLEASE READ THIS BOOK. Can't hurt to add to your repetoire!} This book helped me break that paralyzing fear of staying 10 more years VS. cutting all ties & being suddenly alone. It gives you structure. You work out your own contract, with or without therapists. Once apart, you can conduct a productive exploration of your self & your relationship. And talk to each other as you decide, on a VERY limited schedule, to see how it is going. No fault finding, no blaming. (We each have therapists and support groups on the wagon for this venting.) Read chapter "My Marriage is Making Me Sick" first. Then, read the "Differences between trial and controlled sep.". This was better for my husband's attention span. Then, he was hooked. Then get a 6 month lease somewhere. If you have a verbally/emotionally distant, abusive or very insensitive mate,
this may mean PEACE for you the 1st time in years. THE GOAL IS: Happy, healthy reunification. But -- If nothing else, this approach lets you KNOW you tried EVERYTHING you could before divorcing. And you learn how to avoid similarly BAD partner match-ups for the future.
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