Rating: 
Summary: A great book for every serious parent
Review: All parents start with grand expectations for their children. However, many parents are not specifically clear what characters they really want their children to have. Not knowing where to go and how to get there, it results in frustration, friction, conflict, mistrust, ... between the generations. Dr. Dyer's book is an invaluable guide for all serious parents to set the correct goal, make the goal approachable, and make every day of the parent-child relationship a deep enjoyment.
This book is not an easy book. As other readers have pointed out, this book is not just about raising kids, but also (perhaps more importantly) about changing the parents themselves. As I read through some of the paragraphs, I often felt my regret for things that I should have not done to my kids (I hope I can be better next time...).
Not only did the author set the goals that were founded on sound human development theory (mostly Maslow), but he also gave numerous detailed daily advices that are well organized around these goals. Examples include as simple of an advice as "Do not create monsters in the minds of young children to temporarily quiet them" to the more thoughtful "Try making your adolescent right rather than arguing with them any longer." Another observation worthing everybody's thought is "If you use guilt on children on a regular basis, it will not be long before they start using it on you."
I also enjoy the many profound sayings that the author quoted. One is "A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary." The other is "The greatest evil that can befall man is that he should come to think ill of himself."
Rating:
Summary: Simply great ...
Review: I highly recommend this book as a parenting guide as well as a self improvement guide. Author goes into the depth of human behaviours and not only he explains why some kind of behavior is not acceptable, but he also explains how we express that behaviour and what's our psychological need to behave that way. I found this really helpful because lots of time we are not even aware of when our behaviour is a bad influence on our kids. But the way author explains -why, when and how we do it, it becomes all crystal clear.
Rating:
Summary: This book is not just about parenting
Review: I think this book is really about what we want for OURSELVES. All parents want the BEST for their kids but they rarely apply it to themselves. This book teaches you how to model the most healthy, sane and life-affirming behavior and attitudes so your children will learn these attitudes. The only way to effectively model this behavior is to actually become this kind of person ourselves. It requires an open mind toward one's own behavior, thoughts and beliefs. Here are the chapter headings:
"I want my children to value themselves
I want my children to be risk-takers
I want my children to be self-reliant
I want my children to be free from stress and anxiety
I want my children to have peaceful lives
I want my children to celebrate their present moments
I want my children to experience a lifetime of wellness
I want my children to be creative
I want my children to fulfill their higher needs and to feel a sense of purpose"
Don't you want to live this way too? I know I do.
Rating:
Summary: The ultimate guide to raising and loving children
Review: If you are about to have children, you'll love them and respect them in ways you never thought possible. If you already have children - of ANY age - this book will inspire you to develop new relationships that will make your life richer than ever!! Read the last chapter in the book, the one titled: "I wish my children could someday write this letter"...I guarantee you'll want to start reading the book immediately...and won't be able to stop until done!
Rating:
Summary: Simply great ...
Review: If you are looking at this review and care about your children or even about yourself, BUY THIS BOOK! I was at a low point in my life, wondering which direction to take and starting to lose sight of who I am. While browsing through parenting books, I found this amazing book and have been highlighting left and right. I discuss it with everyone I can and have found it to be immensely helpful in re-directing my own way of thinking. Postive thoughts surround me, I no longer feel pity on myself, I take action!I am happy to say that although it will make a difference in how I parent my daughter, it already has changed me and how I think. I realize now that I should not allow situations to control me, and this book is wonderfully adept at helping with this. If you have unbridled anger or frustration...this book is for you. Share this book with everyone you know, it will only affect them postively. Although there were some issues which I do not agree with personally, I did understand and respect all of Dr. Dyer's thoughts. It is a powerful and enriching book, which will enhance your life and that of those around you. We need more like this in such trying times.
Rating:
Summary: EVERYONE should read this book...not just parents!
Review: If you are looking at this review and care about your children or even about yourself, BUY THIS BOOK! I was at a low point in my life, wondering which direction to take and starting to lose sight of who I am. While browsing through parenting books, I found this amazing book and have been highlighting left and right. I discuss it with everyone I can and have found it to be immensely helpful in re-directing my own way of thinking. Postive thoughts surround me, I no longer feel pity on myself, I take action!I am happy to say that although it will make a difference in how I parent my daughter, it already has changed me and how I think. I realize now that I should not allow situations to control me, and this book is wonderfully adept at helping with this. If you have unbridled anger or frustration...this book is for you. Share this book with everyone you know, it will only affect them postively. Although there were some issues which I do not agree with personally, I did understand and respect all of Dr. Dyer's thoughts. It is a powerful and enriching book, which will enhance your life and that of those around you. We need more like this in such trying times.
Rating:
Summary: The best book for parents wishing to raise happy kids.
Review: My friend gifted it to me without exactly knowing its real value. I had previously read Dr Dyer's books (Your Erroneous Zones, Ths Sky is the Limit, etc.). Anticipating the same wisdom and guidance, I read the book. It was wonderful. I had always thought on the same line and wished that I personally could have been raised by my parents in the manner described by Dr Dyer. This book is my parenting guide for lifetime. Thank you Dr Dyer.
Rating:
Summary: My Mom Swears by This Book
Review: My mom is in the childcare business. She has been using this book as a guide to help her rear happier children, with less conflict and more support. She has done an amzing job with some tough to handle kinds...who thanks to her and the help of the book are no longer so tough to handle, and are happier and more cooperative.To this day this is our favourite gifts to new moms we know :)
Rating:
Summary: The Point of the Book
Review: The point of the book is your own life & behavior as it affects YOU and YOUR children, rather than your parents' lives & behavior and how it affected YOU. If that fact was missed by a reviewer with A Bone to Pick, that reviewer did, indeed, totally miss......the point. The reviewer states: "That's BULL. The author is negating the importance of his book with that statement. Why are there so many parenting books if there weren't so many adults out there with major problems BECAUSE of how they grew up? Why don't we just parent any way we want to--we can abuse our children--and then turn around and say "Don't blame me for your problems". I would have to assume that anyone who was attracted to this book, if only because of its title, would not be of the mindset to abuse his/her children. More importantly, we can't coulda shoulda - we can't redo our own childhoods. The point of the book is to help us find more effective ways to raise our OWN children, in spite of our own childhoods, and to help us see very clearly what we TRULY want for our children. Dr. Dyer is marvelously successful in helping us to do just that. In this book, there is no room for blame, retaliation, recriminations, or lingering hostility. The point of Dr. Dyer's statements is that if we hang on to those negative feelings and long ago reactions, we will damage our own kids as well as continue to damage our ourselves. The name of the book is "What Do You Really Want for your Children," not "How Much Were You Abused as a Child? Let Us Count the Ways." I had these audio tapes about 10 years ago, when my son was just a little fellow, and was truly enlightened by the common sense conveyed by Dr. Dyer's insights. It's time to listen again!
Rating: 
Summary: Good--but I have a bone to pick
Review: This is one of the best books on parenting I've read EXCEPT for the one part (page 136) in which the author states "Accept the fact that you are precisely where you have chosen to be in life. Stop blaming your spouse for your unhappiness, your parents for your lack of motivation, the economy for your financial status, the bakery for your exess weight, your childhood for your phobias, and anything else to with you assign blame points. You are the sum total of the choices you have made in your life. Even if your parents made mistakes with you, accept the fact that they were human beings doing what they knew how to do at the time, given the unique conditions in their lives. How can you ask more of anyone? Forgive them and make peace with everyone in your past..." That's BULL. The author is negating the importance of his book with that statement. Why are there so many parenting books if there weren't so many adults out there with major problems BECAUSE of how they grew up? Why don't we just parent any way we want to--we can abuse our children--and then turn around and say "Don't blame me for your problems". Parents DO have responsibility--BIG responsibility in how their children turn out. How can anyone say of an ABUSIVE parent that he/she was just doing what they knew how to do at the time and that you couldn't ask any more of them??? Children can ask a WHOLE LOT MORE of their parents than to live with abuse. "Forgive them and make peace with your past"--in other words just tell them that all the abuse you suffered through didn't really matter and it was OK and you just weren't important enough to be treated any better? In other words, Dr. Dyer is giving them license to abuse and possibly continue the abuse but take no responsibility for it. WRONG!!! What's the point of this book then? What's the difference if we raise happy children or completely miserable children--how they turn out is going to be completely their responsibility and none of ours. Children do not grow up in a vacuum. People do not make choices in a vacuum. Yes, you are the sum of the choices you made, but your choices are based on what you learned of yourself and of the world THROUGH YOUR PARENTS. How can ANYONE take responsibility off of ABUSIVE parents as this Dr. Dyer has done??? Whether your parents abused you emotionally, physically and/or sexually--THEY have the responsibility, NOT YOU. You could have and you had every right to "ask more of them". Blaming a bakery on your excess weight is absolutely NOTHING like blaming your parents for the effects of their abuse. How can Dr. Dyer even SUGGEST such a thing? Having lived through a lifetime of hell because of abuse, I resent the fact that Dr. Dyer is taking all responsibility away from my parents and putting it on me. I didn't ASK to be abused. I DIDN'T make that choice. My parents have all the responsibility of that on THEIR shoulders. I made choices based on what I believed about myself from what I LEARNED as a child through that ABUSE. I know for a fact that abused children cannot just "forgive" their parents and "make peace" without working through the pain and hell of the past, but I had to learn that after much suffering and years of therapy. Oh yes, I want to be a good parent and I do make mistakes with my children, but ABUSE is not a "mistake". If you have been abused as a child, whether mentally/emotionally, physically and/or sexually, I recommend that you get the book "Toxic Parents" by Susan Forward and don't EVER listen to ANYONE who tells you that your parents are not responsible for who you are today. THEY ARE. This is a good book on parenting, but please don't pay any attention to the part that I am referring to--it is simply NOT true. Ask any person who was abused as a child. TOXIC PARENTS BY SUSAN FORWARD is an excellent book for persons who were abused as children. CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE by Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D. If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight. If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive. If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves. If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy. If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy. If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty. If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence. If children live with tolerance, they learn patience. If children live with praise, they learn appreciation. If children live with acceptance, they learn to love. If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves. If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal. If children live with sharing, they learn generosity. If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness. If children live with fairness, they learn justice. If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect. If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them. If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live. ***PARENTS DO PLAY A BIG PART IN HOW THEIR CHILDREN TURN OUT AS ADULTS AND ON THE CHOICES THEIR CHILDREN MAKE***
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