Rating:  Summary: great book Review: I've never been married myself, let alone divorced, but this book helped explain to me why my divorced female friends seem so darned happy about it! They all, to a woman, speak of "getting themselves back" and "coming back to life," and after reading this book, I begin to understand better what they must have gone through and why they seem so cheerful in their freedom now.
Rating:  Summary: Trivialization of the romantic condition and love Review: It is unfortunate that the author has not had a decent relationship in her life, otherwise she would know that some things are worth working for and not to just give up and strike out on one's own.
Rating:  Summary: informative, frank and uplifting Review: Our couples counsellor recommended this book to me soon after I made the decision to divorce. It gave me a fresh outlook at a time when I really needed to stop feeling sorry for myself. The book also inspired me to think about the future and all the good things that can come out of confronting and subsequently leaving an unfulfilling relationship.
Rating:  Summary: This book portrays the changing face of marriage in the U.S. Review: The book jacket for Cutting Loose says it's "a timely and encouraging companion for any woman contemplating divorce." True enough, but I would add that it is compelling reading for anyone interested in the changing face of marriage in America, both women AND men. (Just for the record, I myself have been married for 22 years and am not contemplating divorce; I nevertheless found this book a "good read.")
These days, you can find the catch-phrases"post-feminism" and "return to family values" everywhere. Reading Cutting Loose makes it clear that far from getting BEYOND feminism, we have trouble getting TO equality for women in that most intimate relationship, marriage. As the women interviewed in Cutting Loose recount their reasons for seeking a divorce, the evidence that woman today often remain second-class citizens in the world of the family piles up. These women have experienced diverse methods of control, from physical and psychological abuse, to belittlement of their abilities and accomplishments, from financial control to competitive jealousy. Some admit to partial complicity in sustaining such marriages. Moving through guilt, fear, and the gender expectations that had crippled their own souls, they speak of "getting their lives back" and reclaiming themselves as strong, independent beings.
I was astounded that every woman, to a person, wanted out of her marriage because of the damage it had done to her sense of self or to her physical safety--so much so that I wrote to the author and asked whether she had specifically looked for women with this type of complaint. No one wanted out because he wasn't good in bed, or because she had just grown tired of him....Ms. Applewhite replied that she had NOT sought a specific response. Men might do themselves a favor by reading about the REAL reasons women seek divorce!
There is practical advice but this isn't a dry "how-to." It lets divorcing women hear from women who've made it through and are doing just fine, and lets the women tell how they got to that point. For those men and women who are determined to struggle through the flashpoints of marriage together, trying to build a relationship based on equality and mutual respect, the book can serve as a reminder of the areas they need to consider and negotiate.
Today, if divorcing women aren't depicted as pernicious destroyers of "family values" they are sometimes pictured as pitiful victims. Some women are less secure financially after divorce, and some must struggle economically, but Cutting Loose makes it clear that many divorced women are much happier in their new status and would not choose to go back to their former marriages. Whether or not they remain single, remarry again with fewer illusions, or become partners in longterm relationships, they describe themselves with terms such as proud, happy, independent, competent, responsible. "My life is my own again," one says. "It's worth it," says another. A third gives the advice, "Go on with your life. Give yourself a chance to be happy. And don't marry the same schmuck again."
Rating:  Summary: Head in the Clouds Review: This author is not in touch with reality. I found her conclusions flawed. Her sampling method and technique is lacking and tends to overlook women who have made a mistake. She also tends to blame husbands for the problems that these woman had. They seem to be examples of "throwing out the baby with the bath water."
Rating:  Summary: A life saver... Review: This book has truly been a life-saver to me. Not only did it detail the reasons for leaving and the steps to leaving, it explained the emotions and shared wonderful examples / stories. It also gave me a great deal of hope for a happy and fulfilling (single) life. Whenever I started feeling down or questioned whether divorcing my husband was the right choice, I came back to this book. In a matter of minutes, I was back on track and feeling confident in my decision. This book was a hand-me-down from a friend who read it during her divorce. I have now passed it on to another friend and highly recommend it to any woman in the process of separating or even contemplating a separation.
Rating:  Summary: Self Help at its BEST Review: This book is "hope" on paper. It speaks to one's sense of fear and uncertainty. In a nutshell, I highly recommend this book to all women pre, during and post marriage. It's insightful and gently guides one towards personal growth. "It doesn't matter if you lose him, it is YOU who will be found." --Amy Tan
Rating:  Summary: CUTTING LOOSE ONLY TO REMARRY AND DIVORCE AGAIN? Review: This book is an amazing contradiction. The title implies thatdivorce is wonderful. This appeals to the NYC liberal feministpublishing culture that sees divorce as a weapon against male chauvinism. The text attempts to support this mistaken position but the facts always seem to portray the author as trying to squeeze in the truth despite what the publisher really wanted, like a prisoner of war blinking out the real message in the miiddle of a confession. For example,the author points out that second marriages are shorter than first marriages. How can divorce be wonderful if it leads to another divorce in less time? Does somebody think divorce is fun, or good for children. The book tries to celebrate divorce for 268 pages then at the very end says, "the way women are poisons their own first and second marriages and thereby cause the cycle of joy and misery." If women poison their marriages why should they celebrate their divorce especially since they will only go on to poison their second and third marriages the same way? The men in these marriages emerge as the real victims of women who have to grow up, but of course are not entitled to one bit of sympathy despite being on the receiving end of 90% of divorce. This book celebrates divorce the same way a child celebrates a 10 lb. ice cream cone, i.e., by not thinking about the soon to be realized consequences. It is extraordinarily immature. The failure of this book lies in the conflict between feminism and the facts. For a serious rational look at the differences between men and women and how the differences can be used to build a loving eternal marriage (this is afterall what evolution intended and what kids need) I recommend 1) The 91% Factor: Why Women Initiate 91% Of Divorce, 2) Men are from Mars (this is a a little simple but nevertheless very accurate, 3) The Alchemy of Love And Lust
Rating:  Summary: Don't believe bje! Review: This is a wonderful book full of interesting insights. I don't necessarily agree with all of them, but that is true of every book I read. By the way, check out bje1000's 1 star review of the book, found below. Notice the sophomoric phrasing of his critique, the childish analogy he draws, the lack of attention to grammar and puctuation. Then notice that good ol' bje1000 is the author of "The 91% Factor", the book he recommends you read INSTEAD of this volume. Please don't pay attention to his remarks; he's obviously just trying to market his own work. Read this book instead, for a much more informative and well written take on the subject of divorce.
Rating:  Summary: Cutting Loose Provides Hope Review: Very thought provoking and enlightening. All women will see themselves in this book. The book provides hope that although life will continue to be challenging, it will get better and better. This book made me feel empowered, which is exactly what I needed.
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