Rating: 
Summary: Not All It's Cracked Up To Be
Review: Although well written and researched, Gail Sheehy's book was a major disappointment. Having experienced many years of discomfort, especially on location, I assumed that somewhere in 'Understanding Men's Passages' I'd find advice on how to treat my chronic hemorrhoids. Alas, not a word. Clint Eastwood made the same mistake, but he cured his by actually reading the book in one sitting.
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Summary: A GPS for men's life! (Gail "Passages Sheehy)
Review: Are you a male who has lost his way in life? Perhaps you are a bit lost in the corporate jungle or a bit disoriented atop the mountain peak called 'Success'? Perhaps you are desperate in the desert of despair or tossed about in the turbulent seas of mid-life. Or maybe you are in your golden years and are looking back in the rear view mirror of life and wondering, "Was it all worth it?" Well, wherever you are, if you have lost your sense of direction in life and you don't want to stop and ask for directions then maybe this book (Gail "Passages" Sheehy -GPS) is just for you. Understanding Men's Passages provides us with a cradle to grave map of contemporary American male life. Unlike the GPS systems found in cars these days, this book will not provide you exact directions on how to get from point A to point B. Instead, like her other Passages books, Sheehy provides us with numerous stories of men's lives who have blazed the trails before us. By reading these stories one begins to reflect on the similarities in ones own life which often is enough to help us determine where we are and our own course of action for journey. So, whatever your situation and wherever you are in your journey you need not despair. There is hope. You are not alone! Pros: Recommended this GPS for men's life. Numerous stories help you to realize that you are not alone and that others also have journeyed down a similar road before you. Also highly recommended reading for women who want to gain a better understanding of the male species. Cons: A very non-direct approach to self improvement may leave some pondering what to do - but hey, that is why it is called self-help.
Rating: 
Summary: author knows her subject....
Review: as a result of extensive interviews, surveys, etc. . . . i could relate to much of what she wrote about, both now--and in the future . . . this book should be read by both males and females.
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Summary: This book is a master piece matured in time better
Review: Dear Mrs. Gail Sheehy-After spending nearly nine years in marketing and sales of industrial steam boilers in an US Turkish Joint Venture Company plus previous 6 years in local Industries, I left the last company to pursue my own career, in energy- power- boiler business. In the early so-to-speak desperation period, I reviewed your book many times. Many times. I even wrote a review in Amazon on last September 8,1998. For a period of two months looking for a full time job, I noticed that there are many companies who are in need of my expertise but cannot effort to hire me in full-time, and moreover they cannot keep me busy similarly full-time. Therefore I decided to explain the status to my prospective companies in one-to-one and face-to-face communication and then I waited them to take the first action. At the end I succeeded to have part-time long-term agreements with two local and two foreign companies for technical and commercial strategic consultancy and representation on steam generation, power and energy business. I assist the decision-makers and/or represent them in occasions where and when they are not available. I am happy since I can work for all of them. I am happy that I fully utilise my time, day and night, plus weekends. I am happy that I work for various projects and learn while contribute. I am happy that I earn money sufficient to survive a decent life with my wife and two kids at 22 and 14 years old. I am happy that I created a new opportunity for myself. That is how I feel. What do you think??
Rating:
Summary: Stimulating reading, generates more questions than answers
Review: For the open-minded, this book will serve as an interesting tool for men & their partners to explore the issues & feelings stimulated by events in the middle to latter decades of men's lives in our country. Sheehy turns over fertile, virgin emotional ground for many men in this time of their lives & prompts healthy introspection & decision making.
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Summary: Truth or Propaganda?
Review: From Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary: truth: the body of real things, events, and facts. propaganda: ideas, facts, or allegations spread to further one's cause or to damage an opposing cause. I had heard some positive comments about Sheehy's book and being a 44 year-old man, was anxious to read it. While her chronicling of men's feelings are accurate, her "solutions" are lacking. Whenever I read the book, I found myself depressed (even my wife noted that.) I finally realized that Sheehy's advice was really feminist, humanist ideology in a subtle disguise. In her view, the way for us men to successfully navigate our passages and transform ourselves is to accept the hard-core feminist agenda and to throw off the shackles of established religions. Of course she does not state that outright, but the images she paints in her book are of hapless men struggling in a society where women are gaining more prominence. If we don't accept the fact that men are losing power, we will not be transformed. The real issue with which men are struggling is not about losing power, but losing respect. Men are criticized at every turn by women; discrimination against men is not only tolerated but is policy in many corporations; women make disparaging remarks about men in the workplace -- the type of remarks that would be offensive if they were made about women or a minority group. I said that Sheehy's promotion of feminist ideology was subtle -- subtle until she launched her attack on Bill McCartney and the Promise Keepers. I attended two of the large rallies upon the invitation of a good friend and found the movement contrary to my Roman Catholic sensibilites. Actually, aside from the exhilaration of being with 50,000 men in one place, I found very little that I liked about Promise Keepers. However, Sheehy goes way beyond expressing her dislike for them and their founder, Bill McCartney. Indeed, she portrays them as a militaristic group of zombies marching in lockstep with their leader. Some examples: Sheehy refers to "Bill McCartney, the messianic former football coach". With the following observation, Sheehy makes a sweeping indictment of McCartney (she sounds like a Republican going after Bill Clinton...): "Coach McCartney, who has long been a supporter of Operation Rescue, the militant antiabortion organization responsible for violence in clinics...." She describes the men attending the "Stand in the Gap" rally in Washington, D.C.: "In all this hairy, high-testosterone crowd of decididedly heterosexual men with bulky shoulders, thick necks, and mostly short hair or buzz cuts, there is no commotion, no snacking, no conversation. They stare straight ahead. Most wear Promise Keepers baseball caps with the bills turned straight forward and white T-shirst with sayings such as "Let go, let God." "...they are hypnotically quiet in the brilliant sun." Sounds like a group of Nazis, doesn't it? And at the rallies I attended, there were plenty of tall skinny guys with narrow shoulders and stylishly long hair. Earlier in the book, Sheehy states that "Men need ways and places they can get together with other men...." But she criticizes Promise Keepers for their "pointed exclusion of women." Come on Gail, is it only appropriate for men to get together in feminist-approved gatherings? At the Promise Keepers rally, I think Sheehy saw what she wanted to see. Sheehy implies that Americans are behind the times in terms of family structures: "Americans are more reluctant to give up the traditional family role structure than are people in many other countries..." according to an international Gallup Poll. "Nearly half of the Americans surveyed said the ideal family structure was one in which only the father earned the living and the mother stayed home with the children, compared with only about one fourth of those polled in Germany, India, Lithuania, Spain, Taiwan, and Thailand." I dare say, we better change our attitudes if we want to keep pace with Thailand, that beautiful country where families sell their daughters as sex slaves! Sheehy writes that men today assume "spectrum of postures", "not as neat pigeonholes but as different expressions of manhood in contemporary life. A man may move from one to another depending on his mood or circumstances." But despite her disclaimer, she well manages to put the pigeons in the holes. From her descriptions of the pigeonholes, uh, "postures", it is difficult to imagine men moving from one to another, especially depending on the their moods! The postures: Resurgent Angry Macho Man (RAMM - isn't that cute?), Sensitive New Age Guy (SNAG), Dominant Male Model (DOM), Messenger of God (MOG)(this is where she places Promise Keepers), and Partner and Leader (PAL). Apparently, Sheehy prefers PAL because she has nothing disparaging to say about it as she does the other pigeonholes, darn it!, I mean postures. She describes PAL as a "true grassroots movement" where "men are finding ways of bonding in small groups that form spontaneously." "In these small groups, men are encouraged to act as partners as well as leaders, rather than being led by any higher authority.... They are not bonding for the historical purpose of attacking or defending turf but as chosen brothers (oh, brother!) who can offer one another support and solace.... They are part of the new flexible network society that has been given great impetus by the Internet and the World Wide Web. Today, it is easy to create one's own attitudinal tribe.... Men are rediscovering their faith on their own individualistic terms...." Sheehy is another of those voices who place the individual at the center of the universe rather than a higher power, Allah, God, or supreme being. She pushes the propaganda that if you cannot or will not abide by the teachings of your faith, heck, you can start your own. And the fact that she advocates the impersonal media of the Internet cheapens her message that much more. Sheehy calls herself a "cultural interpreter", but with this book, she appears to aspire to "cultural reformer."
Rating: 
Summary: You've got to look for the jewels of wisdom in this one.
Review: Gail Sheehy's book contains some wisdom that I found helpful, but I also found myself wanting to throw the book out the window more than once during the reading. The good side is that she interviews men whose stories I could understand and whose words touched my pain. There are plenty of stories from men that have been where I'm going now at age 48. About 25 percent of the stories made sense to me and filled in more than a few puzzle pieces in my life. The bad side is having a good writer like Gail Sheehy write a book about the male world is like Newt Gingrich writing a book about lesbian life. Eventhough the writer tries hard not to interject their innate opinion it comes through, and I as a man resented and felt hurt at the stereotyping the male species, the paragraphs that you just don't say to a guy that's down on his luck, and the "how great women are doing these days." The book does contain some wisdom that I'm glad I found: older men talking about their lives. The downside is I had to read some passages that just ripped my guts out . . . almost like stepping on a landmine. I'm glad, though, that I read it.
Rating:
Summary: A Psycho-Social Primer on Adult Male Development
Review: Gail Sheey's "Understanding Men's Passages" is a good book to read to grasp the basic developmental stages that men go through in life. Other books on men's issues sometime fail to recognize the importance of these sequential and natural passages of early, middle, and later male adulthood. I enjoyed the book, but Sheey sometimes overuses examples from men who, quite frankly, do not quite fit the norm (rich, famous, and powerful). It appears that data supporting Sheey's book came from men in all walks of life. Why then, does she often use interview data from men who the average reader cannot identify with? When reading through this book, I sometimes wondered if Sheey met the elusive "every man" in each of us, but truly does not know the common personality characteristics that we, as men, exhibit. She also mentions virtually nothing about single men. Strengths: The cover is eye-catching. And in general, Sheey is a gifted writer who draws the reader into her train of thought. She has also really done well in connecting with medical personnel who are familiar with men's health issues. Parts IV, V, and VI were perhaps my favorite parts of the book to read. Years ago, I read Sheey's "Passages" for a class on adulthood and aging. She goes beyond that book in "Understanding Men's Passages," but not quite enough.
Rating:
Summary: A Psycho-Social Primer on Adult Male Development
Review: Gail Sheey's "Understanding Men's Passages" is a good book to read to grasp the basic developmental stages that men go through in life. Other books on men's issues sometime fail to recognize the importance of these sequential and natural passages of early, middle, and later male adulthood. I enjoyed the book, but Sheey sometimes overuses examples from men who, quite frankly, do not quite fit the norm (rich, famous, and powerful). It appears that data supporting Sheey's book came from men in all walks of life. Why then, does she often use interview data from men who the average reader cannot identify with? When reading through this book, I sometimes wondered if Sheey met the elusive "every man" in each of us, but truly does not know the common personality characteristics that we, as men, exhibit. She also mentions virtually nothing about single men. Strengths: The cover is eye-catching. And in general, Sheey is a gifted writer who draws the reader into her train of thought. She has also really done well in connecting with medical personnel who are familiar with men's health issues. Parts IV, V, and VI were perhaps my favorite parts of the book to read. Years ago, I read Sheey's "Passages" for a class on adulthood and aging. She goes beyond that book in "Understanding Men's Passages," but not quite enough.
Rating:
Summary: A Psycho-Social Primer on Adult Male Development
Review: Gail Sheey's "Understanding Men's Passages" is a good book to read to grasp the basic developmental stages that men go through in life. Other books on men's issues sometime fail to recognize the importance of these sequential and natural passages of early, middle, and later male adulthood. I enjoyed the book, but Sheey sometimes overuses examples from men who, quite frankly, do not quite fit the norm (rich, famous, and powerful). It appears that data supporting Sheey's book came from men in all walks of life. Why then, does she often use interview data from men who the average reader cannot identify with? When reading through this book, I sometimes wondered if Sheey met the elusive "every man" in each of us, but truly does not know the common personality characteristics that we, as men, exhibit. She also mentions virtually nothing about single men. Strengths: The cover is eye-catching. And in general, Sheey is a gifted writer who draws the reader into her train of thought. She has also really done well in connecting with medical personnel who are familiar with men's health issues. Parts IV, V, and VI were perhaps my favorite parts of the book to read. Years ago, I read Sheey's "Passages" for a class on adulthood and aging. She goes beyond that book in "Understanding Men's Passages," but not quite enough.
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