Motherless Daughters : The Legacy of Loss

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Summary: I finally see that I am not alone with what I feel.
Review: I lost my mother at age 6, and my father at age 12. Although I was raised by my maternal grandmother, surrounded by love, there was always an empty space inside of me. Now that I am a mother myself, some of that space has been filled, but I still long for the unconditional love that only a parent can offer to their child. Motherless Daughters showed me that I am not alone with my feelings.

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Summary: Helps with Healing
Review: I lost my mother to cancer when I was sixteen years old. When I went back to school after the funeral, I think I did what alot of girls do, I acted like I was fine, because I didn't want anyone to know what was going on inside of me. This lasted for a couple of years, and during my first year of college, my father bought me this book. I kept it unread in a drawer for a long time, I didn't want to deal with my moms death. She was my best friend, and I couldn't accept that she was gone. Finally, I picked up the book and began to read. I was only a few pages in, when I began to cry like I hadn't since the night she died. It was hard for me to read the book, but I did, a few pages at a time, over a couple of weeks. I never realized that while other girls lose their mother under different circumstances, there are still things that are similar, and bind all of we "motherless daughters" together. This book helped in ways I can't even begin to describe. It gave me someone to relate to (none of my friends had ever lost a parent). I highly recommend this book to anyone who has lost their mother, no matter how old you were, or how long ago it happened. It helped me face my pain, and work through it, like nothing else could. I know it is difficult to deal with, but Hope Edelman's book really helps make a tragic situation, a bit easier to cope with.

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Summary: Has some problems.
Review: I read this book several years ago, and while I appreciated that the author had addressed the issue of the loss of mothers, I had some significant issues with the book. First, I thought she incorrectly conflated losing one's mother to death with losing one's mother to other reasons (death, illness, estrangement, etc.). I cannot be convinced that any of those other reasons could compare to having your mother die. Further, if memory serves, the author did not seem to make much distinction between losing one's mother as a child and losing one's mother as an adult. As a woman whose mother died days after my sixth birthday, I found it insulting to suggest that it is just as hard to lose your mother at, say, 30. While I know losing a parent as an adult is an extremely difficult transition (my dad died when I was 31), it is perposterous to claim it has anything like the effect of losing a parent at a young age. I was most annoyed that the author's claim that the death of a mother is harder on girls than boys. My brother was 9 when our mother died, & I know that her death was as difficult for him as it was for me. Finally, I thought there were way too many anecdotes from the author's own experience. It seemed more of an exercise in her own grief than a nuanced analysis of bereavement. That in itself would be valuable, but it should have been labled as a memoir rather than anything else.

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Summary: Hope is the most appropriate name
Review: I found this book while browsing through a local book store. I never cry in public but when I picked this book up and read a few lines of the letters from other women, I was sobbing. I knew then it was a great book. It did not tell my particular story, but hearing about so many other women I could relate to I learned an incredible amount about myself. I lost my mother when I was 5 and have no recollection of her. Reading this book helped me to begin to understand myself and to give me hope that I am normal. I hope that it will help many other motherless daughters as well.

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Summary: Motherless Daughters: The Daughter of a Bi-Polar Mom
Review: I read this book some years back per the suggestion of a therapist. At the time my mother was still alive yet for so long it was as though she were not. Hope's book not only includes information on the emotions of someone who has to deal with the death of a mother but for people who have lost their mother's due to Mental Illness. My mother was BiPolar and was never medicated. She was never able to function in the role of a mother and the one that I had so longed for. As a matter of fact, I felt like I was the mother always providing that emotional support to her. The book was an eye opener and helped me to understand more as to who I react in this world. I identified espeically with feeling out of place around other women who partake in small talk. It is my intention to pick up the book again and read it since my mother has now passed from this world. For me.....her death was the finality of not having that mother and knowing that I never would. The book helped me to realized that my feelings and emotions were appropriate, that I was not alone and that there was a reason for some of my behaviors. I will say that at the time I read it that it was a very difficult and painful book for me to read. However, it was most definitely beneficial.

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Summary: Enlightening
Review: I read this book 20 years after my mother died. At last here was a book that explained some of my feelings and actions over the past 20 years. It is very easy to read and easy to just read a small part at a time.

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Summary: soothing
Review: I bought this book a few days after my mother unexpectedly died. It was really important, and helpful, to read about others' experiences, when I was too shocked to fathom this abrupt change in my life. I think there is something here for every woman who has lost their mother, and I have since recommended it to the many women (all strangers, no less) who have shared their own stories of loss with me.

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Summary: The "Handbook" for Motherless Daughters
Review: I lost my mother to cancer when I was twelve. A year or so later, amidst a fit of tears, I came upon a copy of this book in my father's room. He had meant to give it to me when I was older, but even as a young teen, I understood everything that Edelman writes about and could relate as well. I call it the "Handbook" because, besides being wonderfully emotional and personal in anecdotes and quotations, Edelman provides many scenarios (e.g., what happens if one if the youngest child, what happens if the father has a hard time, etc, etc). There is bound to be something that ANY motherless daughter will find meaningful. I know that I was able to finally come to the realization that I was not alone in my situation. She does a fine job in presenting the motherless daughter as NOT a victim, but rather as a survivor who can leave some special mark on the world. There are examples of well-known motherless daughters (Madonna, Patricia Heaton, Meg Ryan, and others). We are finally not alone as motherless daughters!
The book is broken down into coherent sections narrating what happens right after the loss through years later when the motherless daughter is a mother herself and still feels the pain (which is, thankfully, "normal!"). There's a helpful index if one wants to locate specific information too-- I used this book as a reference when preparing a presentation on the topic for a class. I keep this book beside my bed, not because I'm so overcome with grief, but just as a "security book"-- reading it when I need some sort of affirmation that what I'm feeling is "okay." I have re-read it many times in the past 7 years. Amazing and beautifully written.

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Summary: More applicable to "motherless YOUNG daughters"
Review: I bought this book along with "The Orphaned Adult" (which I highly recommend for everyone who has lost both parents). I don't doubt that this book warrants a higher rating in general; however, I found it to be much more applicable to girls who were much younger when their mothers died. I was 26 when my mother died suddenly at 48 years of age. Now, I am the age she was when she died and I have yet to find a book specific to losing your mother as a young adult and the impact that has on you as you get older. Perhaps I need to write one...

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Summary: Motherless Daughters
Review: I thought this book was ok, but definitely geared towards women who lost their mothers at a young age - I am 33 and lost my mom 3 weeks ago. None of the content really helped me.