Rating: 
Summary: BULLIES - FAMILY / WORKPLACE / SCHOOL / NEIGHBORHOOD
Review: Excellent compliments to this book are: Emotional Blackmail: When People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier; Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss and James Masterson; The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders by Joseph Santoro and Ronald Cohen; The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert Pressman; Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson; Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man by Scott Wetzler; Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin and Lidija Rangelovska (Editor); Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents by Nina Brown; Treating Attachment Disorders: From Theory to Therapy by Karl Heinz Brisch and Kenneth Kronenberg; Toxic Coworkers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job by Alan Cavaiola and Neil Lavender; Bully in Sight: How to Predict, Resist, Challenge and Combat Workplace Bullies by Tim Field.And if you want to pursue the subject even further, you may be interested in reading The Narcissistic / Borderline Couple: A Psychoanalytic Perspective On Marital Treatment; Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility by Jim Fay and Foster Cline.
Rating: 
Summary: Practical advice on keeping bullies at bay
Review: Great book! Fast-paced, entertaining, and eminently practical, with specific advice on how and why to set physical and emotional boundaries and refuse to be abused. Horn explains why bullies bully and gently confronts readers on their wimpy behavior. (Why HAVEN'T you told him to back off?) She offers a smorgasbord of effective responses to choose from, some witty and all wise. One point that I found especially instructive: When dealing with bullies, all the "I" messages in the world ("I'm upset about that," "I feel hurt when you say that," etc.) only fuel the fire. "You" messages ("Stop it." "Don't use that language around me." "Clean up your act." "What did you say?") work better. Horn writes with a confidence, clarity, and playfulness that somehow make a heavy subject quite light-hearted and fun. I plan to go read the rest of her books.
Rating:
Summary: Take the Bully by the Horns: It really works!
Review: I purchased this book after I had several encounters with bullies throughout my life. I often failed at dealing with bullies, when I had to deal with them, until my last two encounters. For so long I tried the different typical tactics that Sam Horn explains and still suffered from the bullies' rath. What did I do during my last two encounters? I didn't compromise who I was, wasn't so nice and friendly and grabbed the bullies by the horns, as Sam Horn explains. It works and you can feel good about yourself and how you handled yourself throughout "the ordeal".
This is even a great book for those who have learned how to handle bullies through trial and error, because it gives tips you wouldn't think of and boosts your confidence in regard to how you handled your situation. I highly recommend this book and just purchased another Sam Horn book. Her writing is easy to read, makes you smile and is extremely insightful.
Rating:
Summary: Practical, illuminating and engaging
Review: I rarely think of myself as either a victim or a bully. In reading this book, with such clear definitions and guidelines, though, I was surprised to see reflections of myself in many of the examples. It was also reassuring to find the small specific responses to correct some tendencies I do have in either direction. I started reading out of curiosity and ended up seeing myself in an unfamiliar, but very helpful mirror!
Rating:
Summary: Finally -- a book that dares to tell the truth.
Review: I worked with a bully and I tried all the win-win techniques other experts suggest. Not only did they not help, they made the situation worse. This author says that bullies only respect strength and they see kindness as weakness. One of her suggestions made the whole book worthwhile. She said to use the word "you" instead of the word "I" when dealing with a bully because "I" words come across as whining and "you" words (i.e., "You used to get away with that, you don't get away with that anymore) hold bullies accountable. If you have someone in your life who is taking advantage of your good nature, get this book. It's a lifesaver.
Rating:
Summary: Finally -- a book that dares to tell the truth.
Review: I worked with a bully and I tried all the win-win techniques other experts suggest. Not only did they not help, they made the situation worse. This author says that bullies only respect strength and they see kindness as weakness. One of her suggestions made the whole book worthwhile. She said to use the word "you" instead of the word "I" when dealing with a bully because "I" words come across as whining and "you" words (i.e., "You used to get away with that, you don't get away with that anymore) hold bullies accountable. If you have someone in your life who is taking advantage of your good nature, get this book. It's a lifesaver.
Rating:
Summary: Here's the book to get..
Review: Most of us were taught to be nice and want to believe that being nice will "work," but this author discourages practicing the golden rule to the point of becoming the "golden fool." The author explains the tactics we normally use with other people and explains why these tactics don't work with bullies and in fact may encourage the bully to intensify his or her efforts. For instance, while active listening and empathy may help in many cases, giving a bully a sympathetic ear will perpetuate the abuse. This will be useful to you if you have received well-meaning but misguided advice to be nice to or in some way accommodate the bully. The first 65 or so pages flesh out the problem, help you understand why it is appropriate to defend yourself, etc. Most of the remaining 250 or so pages help you learn what to say. The author provides LOTS of examples. For instance, instead of saying "I don't think it's very nice of you to say I'm a terrible cook," you should say "If you don't like my cooking, you're welcome to fix your own dinner." Such a response does not enter into a debate regarding the accusation. Another book, "The Bully At Work," has until now been perhaps the primary source for those dealing with bullies at work, It is a well-researched and credible book that validates a target's experience and helps with options for dealing with the system (i.e., Human Resources). By contrast "Take the Bully by the Horns" has the greater emphasis on teaching very specific responses to a bully and has perhaps a wider application. Both books are valuable, but "Take the Bully by the Horns" is the best for "how to." It is an uncommonly useful self-help book.
Rating:
Summary: Here's the book to get..
Review: Most of us were taught to be nice and want to believe that being nice will "work," but this author discourages practicing the golden rule to the point of becoming the "golden fool." The author explains the tactics we normally use with other people and explains why these tactics don't work with bullies and in fact may encourage the bully to intensify his or her efforts. For instance, while active listening and empathy may help in many cases, giving a bully a sympathetic ear will perpetuate the abuse. This will be useful to you if you have received well-meaning but misguided advice to be nice to or in some way accommodate the bully. The first 65 or so pages flesh out the problem, help you understand why it is appropriate to defend yourself, etc. Most of the remaining 250 or so pages help you learn what to say. The author provides LOTS of examples. For instance, instead of saying "I don't think it's very nice of you to say I'm a terrible cook," you should say "If you don't like my cooking, you're welcome to fix your own dinner." Such a response does not enter into a debate regarding the accusation. Another book, "The Bully At Work," has until now been perhaps the primary source for those dealing with bullies at work, It is a well-researched and credible book that validates a target's experience and helps with options for dealing with the system (i.e., Human Resources). By contrast "Take the Bully by the Horns" has the greater emphasis on teaching very specific responses to a bully and has perhaps a wider application. Both books are valuable, but "Take the Bully by the Horns" is the best for "how to." It is an uncommonly useful self-help book.
Rating:
Summary: Sam Horn made me realize I wasn't crazy after all!!!
Review: Need more tools to deal assertively in the world? This book is the answer. It gave me valuable insight into how people operate and my responses. More importantly, I found the concrete answers to help me handle situations differently in the future. Easy to read and entertaining, it is a must read.
Rating:
Summary: Another win by Sam Horn
Review: Need more tools to deal assertively in the world? This book is the answer. It gave me valuable insight into how people operate and my responses. More importantly, I found the concrete answers to help me handle situations differently in the future. Easy to read and entertaining, it is a must read.
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